Chapter 72
When the train left the station, we began preparing for the long journey. I dug into my bag for snacks, while Elvira and Hermione began setting out this splendor on the pre-transfigured table. The compartment was bare except for the plush sofas and luggage racks. The carriage for future first-years was designed with every amenity. It made sense, of course: a skilled wizard could create a comfortable environment anywhere, anytime. And in any state—I was already thinking back to high-security summer camp. And I shuddered. While we were setting the table, the boys stowed their luggage on the overhead bins and, throwing off their robes, decided to help us set the table. However, one ginger boy stalled the whole process for a good five minutes.
Taking off his old but well-made robe, Ron appeared before us in a blue striped vest, black flared trousers, a thin white belt with an anchor on a bronze plaque, and white sneakers, completing the picture of a dashing Soviet sailor. Looking him over, I noticed his red, sunburned shoulders and his good physical condition. Weasley promised to grow up to be a tall, broad-shouldered, handsome man, and the scars on his face already gave him a certain brutality. Justin looked him over, then noticed our reaction and, chuckling, pulled off his jacket. His white short-sleeved shirt was almost tight, only highlighting his sculpted muscles. They were still a long way from Iron Arnie, but they stood out among the other Hogwarts students.
“Posers…” Goldstein glanced at his friends and buttoned a couple of buttons on his jacket. “Unlike you, I make my mother happy and eat well.”
“You look great!” Justin smiled and slapped Ron on the burnt shoulder, who hissed in pain. “Just like a torpedo boat sailor!”
The girls and I finished looking at the guy’s unusual outfit and returned to our work; the table wouldn’t set itself, and the kettle needed to be heated.
“Isn’t that cool?!” Ron squared his shoulders proudly. “They gave us uniforms like that at summer camp. You should have seen Ginny! The white trousers and blouse suited her so well, and the other girls looked great too, especially the counselor…” I don’t know what Weasley remembered, but he blushed. “We used to go to the beach a lot, and there… There… The girls swam almost naked…”
The girls and I simply chuckled at the boy’s reaction. For pureblood wizards, modern commoner fashion is practically pornographic. Witches still wore pantaloons and skirts below the knee, as exposing exposed body parts was considered the height of vulgarity and debauchery. However, such strict rules didn’t stop the most ancient and noble from throwing orgies and regularly visiting brothels, which operated quite legally in Wizarding Britain. Such is the double standard of British wizards: you must leave home in a long, high-necked dress and robes, only to find yourself half an hour later in a room with a bunch of naked, drunken bodies, indulging in debauchery all night long.
“Ron, it’s called a bikini, all the commoners swim like that.” Finch-Fletchley grabbed a chocolate bar from the table. “Even though our vacation was cut short, I still managed to take a couple of dips in the warm water. How do you like the Soviet Union?”
“I liked it. The camp is big, and the rooms are cozy and clean. There’s lots of greenery around and the sea is close by,” Weasley sat down on the soft sofa with a smile. “And the food, those Russians know a thing or two about food!” Ron began counting off the food on his fingers: “Breakfast, second breakfast, lunch, afternoon tea, dinner, and then a late supper! Now that’s what I call Hogwarts. We should have something like that.”
“Were you only impressed by the food?” Elvira finished setting the table and took her seat. “Come on, tell me, how was your vacation?”
“Yes, Ron, go ahead, you go first.” I also sat down on the soft sofa and poured myself some juice. “I suggest, to avoid making a big deal out of it, we each take turns talking about our summer holidays.”
Everyone nodded in unison, and the red-haired boy jumped up from his seat and quickly pulled his chest off the shelf and, after rummaging around a bit, pulled out a small colorful package.
“I…” Weasley blushed. “I exchanged some galleons for rubles at the consulate and bought you some souvenirs. It was my first time abroad, so I’m not really sure what to give you…”
With these words, Ron handed me and the girls a silk scarf painted in Khokhloma style, Justin got a glass ball with a ship inside, and for Goldstein he prepared a handle in the shape of an anchor.
“Thank you, it’s very beautiful!” After examining the gift, I tied it like a tie, then stood up and kissed the guy on the cheek; the girls followed my example.
Needless to say, the younger Weasley turned red as a boiled lobster and quickly returned to his seat amid the boys’ snide comments.
“Weasley, I have every right to scold you! You’re a red-haired brat!” Anthony put the gift in his pocket with a satisfied smile and looked at his friend with an offended expression. “Why didn’t you tell me you were going to Sevastopol?”
– I somehow didn’t think about it… What’s wrong? – Ron scratched the back of his head. – I’ll go again next year, but this time with the whole family.
“This time, you’re justified.” Goldstein leaned back on the sofa. “My Aunt Sarah lives there. I’ll write her address later. Her husband gives tours and, for a nominal fee, he’ll show you the city and its interesting sights. Lunch will be included in our introduction. And believe me, the whole town knows her forshmak and red mullet!”
“Thank you!” Ryzhik thanked his friend sincerely. “They took us into town often, even on a helicopter! Can you imagine?! We saw the bay and the whole city from the sky! Sure, that thing makes a lot of noise and shakes, but it fits a lot of people! It’s so beautiful there, and the water is so warm…”
For the next hour, Ron talked excitedly about his vacation, and I even felt a little envious. While the younger Weasleys spent three weeks swimming in the sea, doing therapeutic exercises, and playing various games, Hermione and I were getting beat up and learning all sorts of nasty things. And instead of delicious food and excursions, we had canned goods and regular runs around the camp with a backpack full of rocks on our backs. But there was no complaining: Ron was an ordinary kid, and I was a future Baroness and Head of the Order; all this knowledge and skills were vital to me; I’d still have time to swim in the sea. So I was once again happy for the boy and continued listening to his story.
The sanatorium turned out to be a specialized and quite large one. Young wizards and sorcerers underwent rehabilitation in the hotel wing, so they could perform magic there. At the Union, Weasley not only learned to swim but also mastered the Head Bubble Charm, spurred on by the other students’ stories about pearl divers. He didn’t find mountains of treasure, of course, but he did manage to find one small pearl and ceremoniously presented it to his mother. Language skills weren’t a problem either; on the very first day, he and Ginny were given translation artifacts, enabling them to communicate joyfully with their peers. But most importantly, the Union completely restored Ron’s self-confidence, and he even began to take pride in his scars. According to Weasley, everyone in their squad was like that, some had been maimed by a magical beast, some were the victims of a failed experiment.
“And it was like that every day, it was great…” Weasley finished his story with a satisfied smile and pulled a photo album out of his pocket. “I met Yefim there, a nice guy, so he had a camera with him and took pictures everywhere. And then he shared the pictures, he even refused money…”
While everyone was looking at the photographs, Goldshtey sat down next to me. He was smiling slyly, but his eyes were very serious.
“Rigel, do you remember me asking you about the Miraclephone?” We were interrupted by a burst of laughter. In one of the photos, Ron was knocked off his feet by a sea wave, and he was rather comically floundering in the shallows. “I have a matter for you, highly profitable and for the good of the Empire.”
– I’m listening. – I looked closely at the Jewish boy. – And what does this have to do with the Miracle Phones?
“I won’t beat around the bush, so I’ll just say it straight,” Anthony smiled contentedly. “I decided to expand the range of our small business, since my grandfather established a supply of these beautiful artifacts from the Union.”
“What’s stopping you from selling them in Diagon Alley?” Hermione looked up from her photographs. “Your shop seems to be thriving.”
“Fear and bureaucracy are holding us back!” Goldstein said, pulling a communications artifact from his pocket. “This wonderful device is officially banned from sale throughout Wizarding Britain, and all because of those stupid and incompetent goyim who stormed the Minister of Magic’s office… The manufacturers of see-through mirrors realized they’d be out of business and pushed through the ban. Those idiots, ugh!”
– How can I help? – I looked at the guy in confusion.
“And how are you going to sell them?” Hermione, who had sat on the other side of Goldstein, chimed in. “Hogwarts is also considered Magical Britain.”
“Maker, give me strength…” Anthony looked imploringly at the ceiling. “It’s as simple as can be! You,” the Jewish boy pointed a finger at me. “You show your pureblood friends all the advantages of the artifact, and you,” Goldstein looked at Hermione, “you won’t interfere. Meanwhile, I’ll sell vouchers, which I’ll then exchange for Wonderphones. That’s all! Bartering isn’t prohibited; we’ve carefully studied the laws. And when the wealthy kids boast to their parents, we’ll set up something similar in our shop.”
– And how much? – I became curious. – How much will this toy cost?
“Not a toy, but an incredibly complex long-distance communications artifact straight from the Soviet Union, banned in Britain, by the way.” Anthony smiled slyly. “Only 1,000 Galleons apiece, your 3 percent of each.”
“In the Union, they sell for 600 rubles, which is 500 pounds or 100 Galleons.” I nodded in response. “The supplier is someone called Black?” After waiting for a nod in response, I continued. “50 percent, not a knut less. I promise the Slytherins will want to own this technological marvel.”
“Your ancestors clearly knew Moses…” Anthony looked me in the eyes and sighed heavily. “5 percent, neither you nor me.”
“45 percent and I won’t call Grandpa.” I smiled predatorily in response.
“It doesn’t work like that!” The Jewish boy clutched his heart.
– 40 percent. – I took the Miracle Phone out of my pocket. – I personally know the creator of this artifact.
“Agreed! 8 is 8!” Anthony dabbed his forehead with a napkin. “You clearly want me to have a stroke, like my Uncle Fima! Last year, the tax authorities uncovered his customs evasion schemes and issued such a fine that the sight of the amount made the honest Jew’s heart stop and he nearly died.
“Hey!” Weasley turned to us. “Maybe you could discuss business later? I’ve had enough of the twins at home; they’ve been nagging me the last few days.”
“By the way, how are the kids doing?” Elvira turned to the red-haired boy. “Did Mr. Weasley let them make truancy artifacts?”
“Nope. More precisely, he allowed it, but the brothers changed their minds.” Ron grinned sarcastically. “They made a test sample, and the thing ground Fred’s left arm to dust, they even had to call a healer. So, only material illusions, they came up with a lot of things.”
“These young men even made special brooches for the girls,” Anthony said, straightening up. “I’m sure the seniors will appreciate them.”
“And what are they doing?” Smith leaned forward with interest.
“The simpletons call it push-up,” Goldstein said, his eyes flicking. “Well, you see, not everyone is blessed with curves in the right places.”
I couldn’t help but look down. Thanks to the potions, I could already boast of being almost a size A. I hoped it wouldn’t reach the size of a cow. I’m an athletic girl, after all, and with huge breasts you can’t really exercise, and they’d get in the way in a fight.
– Enough already, why don’t you discuss everything with the twins later? – Ron stamped his foot. – Jas, how was your rest?
“I don’t have much to tell,” Finch-Fletley said, a little embarrassed by our stares and pouring himself some tea. “We only spent a week in Sindey, and then my father was called back to the metropolis. So he decided to make the most of his time and started involving me in the family affairs, even hiring a couple of tutors. I spent the mornings in the gym, and then studied all day.”
“Sorry, mate.” Weasley patted his friend on the shoulder. “Nothing worse than studying in the summer.”
“Well, I’m not complaining,” Justin smiled. “There were a few other social events, and I spent the last week at our shipyard, where they just laid down the keel of a brand-new aircraft carrier. It’ll be even bigger than the Soviet Thunderer.”
– Oh! I saw it! We were taken on a tour of the port! – Weasley perked up, hearing the familiar word. – This floating giant is the size of Hogwarts! We were told it’s the biggest in the world.
“It won’t last long,” the young aristocrat lifted his head proudly. “Her Majesty has decided to outdo the Russians and has given the go-ahead for the construction of this giant.”
“You better tell me how much it costs to maintain such a floating city,” Anthony chimed in. “That’s a huge amount of money! Thousands of staff, and all that horde needs to be fed! And what about repairs?! With such a colossus, you could go broke just on paint!”
Ron looked at Goldstein and Finch-Fletchley, who were starting to argue about the advantages and disadvantages of huge ships, and moved closer to us.
– Girls, how did you spend your summer? – The guy took a sweet bun from the table and began to eat it with gusto.
“We studied and trained…” Hermione sighed and leaned back on the soft back of the sofa. “There’s not much else to tell.”
– Nothing new at all? – Ron even stopped chewing.
“My mentor appreciated my fencing skills, and in November I’ll be going to a competition in Paris.” “My trip is no secret, and I decided to tell you about it.”
“I didn’t know you could swing a sword. Congratulations.” Weasley nodded in response. “The French have strong Quidditch teams, you’ll be able to attend a couple of matches. The finals are in November, and I think they’ll be…”
Our conversation was interrupted by a pleasant melody. Upon hearing it, the redhead patted his pockets and pulled out his Miraclephone. He then swiped it, and a very worried Genie appeared on the screen.
– Ron, I need help Rigel, is she far away? – The girl spoke quietly, but it was clear that she was furious.
– Um… Right now. – The guy handed me the phone.
– What happened? – I looked at the red-haired fury. – Did someone offend you?
“If only…” Ginny looked away. “Luna, her fucking dad filled her trunk with all sorts of junk, didn’t even put any textbooks in, and I won’t even mention a school uniform. She simply has nothing to wear to the Sorting, and my clothes are too big for her. Ron said you know household charms well, could you help me make the clothes fit? I’ll write to Mum at Hogwarts, and we’ll figure something out…”
“We’ll be there soon,” I gave the guy the Miracle Phone and used telekinesis to lure my suitcase over.
While I was trying to figure out which clothes from my wardrobe would fit a certain petite, gray-haired girl and how best to adjust them to size, a Jewish boy attacked Weasley.
“Ron, where did you get this wonderful artifact?!” Anthony took out his Wonderphone. “And by the way, tell me your number! This applies to you girls too.”
“Where did you get it? It’s gone!” Weasley stuck his tongue out at Goldstein. “I won. There was a team relay race at the sanatorium, and my sister and I won. We were awarded two Wonderphones. It’s a cool thing, but it’s stupid.” Ryzhik frowned.
– What do you mean? – I was distracted from my thoughts. – What’s wrong?
“I wanted to give mine to my mom so I could always quickly contact my parents, but this thing,” Ron shook the artifact. “When you first turn it on, it becomes inexorably linked to its owner’s magic. Now it only works for me and doesn’t listen to my parents. That’s why these toys are of little use.”
“Ron, we’ll figure something out, your parents will have the same artifact.” Hermione, a kind soul, began to calm the upset boy. “Ria, do you have any left?”
– No, we’ve given them all away, but I can call Grandpa or… – I looked at Goldstein. – Anthony, can I borrow one? I’ll give it back later.
“I won’t! I have everything recorded and it’s on the company’s balance sheet. Are you going to redo the reports later?” The Jewish boy looked at me slyly. “Let’s discuss your proposal later, but for now, let’s visit the first-year students. I’m genuinely worried about Izya.”
When Goldstein mentioned his cousin’s name, Ron and Elvira flinched; there was a similar reaction at the station. It was a surprise to many wizards that this year there would be two members of a large Jewish family studying at Hogwarts. I sincerely pray to the Creator that Goldstein Jr. is not sorted into Gryffindor.
“Oh, what could happen to him?” Justin waved it off. “There’s a prefect on duty in the first-year carriage almost constantly.”
“You don’t know about Izya,” Anthony said, drawing himself up. “This little freeloader takes after Grandpa Monya, and that says it all! So we need to keep a close eye on him, otherwise he’ll start building a financial empire while still on the train, creating competition and headaches for us all at the same time!”
“Okay, let’s go.” I took Alucard’s gift by the handle, opened the door, and was the first to leave the cozy compartment.
Finding myself in the hallway, I suddenly remembered my past life, or more precisely, Hollywood movies that featured the New York subway. I looked around, my mouth open, and suddenly wanted to go back.
Bedlam and devastation—these words were perfect for describing the surrounding area. The walls and ceiling were covered in obscenities, and in places they were scorched. Something, or even someone, was strewn everywhere. A vomit-covered fifth-year student lay unconscious in the hallway, amidst the rubble. Loud screams and shrieks echoed everywhere, and as we passed an open compartment, we witnessed a fierce fight. Three boys were viciously and selflessly kicking a fourth, while two upperclasswomen cheered them on and sipped firewhiskey straight from the bottle.
And when did we manage to do that?! We’re only an hour away! Shields and wands at the ready, we left the carriage in a tight group and found ourselves in the next one, which was also carrying Gryffindors, meaning the situation was the same, maybe even worse. Drunken shouts and loud laughter, interspersed with female shrieks, echoed everywhere. Passing one compartment, I noticed two girls holding down a third, while a large man standing opposite was groping her breasts with one hand and pouring Firewhiskey into her mouth with the other. Quickly leaving this branch of sin and debauchery, we found ourselves in a quiet, clean carriage.
“This is the Ravenclaw carriage, it’s like a mental ward here,” Anthony concluded. “It’s always quiet and calm, and if anything happens, it’s done quietly and with a drink. We are the House of the smart ones, after all. I advise you not to relax, we have even more sick idiots than you do.”
“Accepted.” I nodded in response, and we continued walking.
Silence and order reigned among the ravens, and almost all the compartments were closed. What was going on behind closed doors was unknown to us, nor did it interest us. Soon we found ourselves at the Huffs’. The situation there was mixed: in one car, a bacchanalia was raging, and a bunch of drunken bodies were wandering the corridor, while in another car, there was not a soul.
Having completed our extreme train tour, we found ourselves in the first-year train car and were able to breathe a sigh of relief. The doors had huge windows, so we had no trouble finding the right compartment.
As soon as I opened the door, I was blinded by a bright flash from a camera. In surprise, I raised my shield, and the gun appeared in my hand. Blinking and exhaling through my teeth, I glared sternly at the little paparazzo, and then at his neighbors. Brother Anthony, equally chubby-cheeked, with black curls and a yarmulke, was playing solitaire on the table, Luna was dreamily gazing out the window, and Ginny looked up from a magazine and cheerfully waved at us.
“Colin, why did you do this?” I turned to Creevy, fighting the urge to smash his camera. “Was it difficult to warn him or ask permission?”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you.” Colin lowered his head guiltily. “It’s just that natural photos are the best; they’re alive and there’s no pretense to them. When people pose and take a long time to get ready, the whole charm of the moment is lost…”
“Listen, boy,” Goldstein appeared from behind my shoulder. “If you take a picture of some senior, the best case scenario is that your camera will be smashed over your stupid head. I’m not kidding.”
– What do you mean?! It’s a Leica M5! I saved up for it for two years! – Krivi pressed the camera to his chest. – You can’t just go and ruin someone else’s property!
“Tony, it’s no use, I’ve been trying to tell that blessed bastard about it for an hour now,” Junior Goldstein said, drawing attention to himself. “But he definitely doesn’t want to listen to an intelligent person, right, girls?”
Ginny nodded cheerfully, and Luna took off her glasses and looked around our group with a sweet smile.
“It’s good to see you,” sang the gray-haired angel. “I knew you’d come. Don’t scold Colin, he’s a good boy, he’s just nervous.”
“Colin, Anthony’s right, if you decide to take a photo of someone, always ask permission, understand?” I looked sternly at the future first-year, and he nodded. “You have to respect other people’s personal space, maybe you should take photos of everyone in the bathroom too?”
“Of course not!” Colin jumped, then blushed. “It’s just that I promised Denis your photo, I’ll print a copy for you too. I even bought a special solution, the instructions say the pictures will be animated! Isn’t that great?”
“First of all, I’m only a year older than you, so let’s address you informally.” Creevy smiled and nodded. “And secondly, always ask permission from now on, otherwise I’ll take the camera and won’t give it back until you learn all the rules of the Wizarding World.”
– Got it. – The milkman’s son sat down and put his camera back in his bag.
– So, we’ve sorted that out. – I turned my gaze to Luna and Ginny. – Come on, show me, is it that bad?
“It’s even worse…” The redhead muttered and pulled a painted wooden chest out from under the sofa. “Look for yourself.”
“You can watch,” Luna smiled tenderly, “I have no secrets from my friends.”
“Tony, would you like to play the Fool or the Goat, or maybe straight to poker?” The younger Goldstein quickly shuffled the deck of cards. “Do your friends know the rules? The starting bet is just one knut!”
“I remember our last game…” Anthony looked askance at his cousin and sat down next to him. “Maybe we should just strip down to our underwear?”
“There are a bit too many of us.” I assessed the size of the room and the number of people. “Are there any free compartments here?”
“The left one is empty,” Ginny understood my idea and, taking Luna by the hand, quickly stood up.
The girls and I grabbed Lovegood’s luggage and quickly moved into the compartment next to us, while the boys took the vacant seats and decided to play cards. I had a feeling the two Jews would fleece Ron and Justin blind, but I didn’t say so out loud, letting them learn the hard way about gambling.
After examining Luna’s things, I felt like swearing and punching that crazy wizard in the face. The bastard didn’t even pack panties and socks for his daughter! Almost everything in the chest could have been thrown out, but the girl clung to it like a hoarder who’d found a rare alien artifact in the trash.
– Luna, why do you need a shovel at school? – Hermione was sorting through the junk. – What about a kerosene lamp or this glass jar?
– Where did you get that felt boot from? – Elvira pulled out a size fifty shit-giver from the depths of the chest. – Look, a horseshoe!
“It’s for good luck.” Lovegood carefully moved the piece of iron into the next compartment. “Mom and I found it when we were walking around the neighborhood; we used to go for walks a lot… I remember every walk…”
“Okay, what do we have?” I surveyed the first-year student’s meager belongings. “Two long skirts, tarpaulin boots, a raincoat, a poncho, a nightgown, and a wool sock—not much. As for writing utensils, we have a couple of broken quills and a fifth-year Magizoology textbook. Well, at least we have a school bag, Luna. What do you have in there?”
“Paints and canvases, I wanted to paint your portraits, here!” The girl began to take out parchments with sketches of her paintings.
“Luna, do you have a wand?” Hermione asked the girl cautiously, and we held our breath.
“Mom’s, she listens to me perfectly.” Lovegood pulled a concentrator from her sleeve and cast Lumos.
“Praise be to the Creator,” I exhaled. “Okay, I have last year’s textbooks with me, and I’ve also stocked up on notebooks and other things. I have seven sets of school uniforms, and plenty of other things. Luna, Ginny, follow me! Mia, Elvira, you’re guarding the bunker entrance.”
– Yawohl, mein Führer! – Granger saluted cheerfully, and at that moment I opened my pink suitcase.
“I’m not going in there!” Luna shook with fear and took a step back. “It’s a very angry and hungry thing! Darkness itself had a hand in it.”
We all stared in bewilderment at the ordinary rolling suitcase, a hideously pink color. Although, knowing the manufacturer of this artifact, the girl’s words sounded quite logical; Uncle Alik is quite the prankster, and also an ancient monster.
– Okay… If the mountain won’t come to Mohammed, then… – I took out the concentrator and quickly took measurements from the Moon.
Under wary eyes, Hermione and I calmly descended into my portable quarters and quickly went into the wardrobe. It took a couple of hours to find the necessary things and adjust them to size, then we spent another half hour gathering old textbooks and writing utensils. Tomorrow I’ll order a proper school bag from Mom and the missing Defense of the Arts textbook. Why am I helping Luna? I don’t know, I just want to, especially since it’s not at all difficult for me.
Back in the compartment, we changed the gray-haired girl into her school uniform, but not before making her try on the rest of her clothes. During our absence, Elvira and Genie had managed to persuade Luna to throw out most of the unnecessary junk, so there was plenty of room in the trunk. Lovegood looked quite presentable and dignified in a skirt and jumper, if not for her silly glasses, but we didn’t insist on that.
Having finished, we decided to have lunch; the guys were still playing cards. I had plenty of food with me, so soon the table in the compartment was groaning under various dishes and drinks. We satisfied our hunger amid cheerful conversation, and it was time for tea, but it wasn’t going to be a peaceful tea party. As I started washing down the pastry with the aromatic drink, loud and indignant screams, including those of women, erupted from the corridor.
I peered outside and was met with a curious sight: a wicked Diana Malfoy, accompanied by Crabbe and Goyle, standing at the table opposite my friends’ compartment, yelling in a rather unaristocratic manner. Vega huddled off to the side, holding Cassiopeia and Romulus by the shoulders, the latter guiltily examining the pattern on the floor. Intrigued, I moved closer.
– … Mordred’s swindlers! Are you completely out of your minds?!” The blonde girl was simply furious. “I’ll curse you so much that your own mother won’t recognize you!”
– Come on! – Anthony’s indignant cries were heard in response. – Malfoy, no one forced your brother! He agreed to it himself! Izzy won fairly! And a card debt is a matter of honor!
“I’ll give you such an honor now, you Jewish mug!” A wand appeared in the Slytherin’s hands, and her bodyguards exchanged nervous glances and took a couple of steps back.
“Are we going to commit murder over a handful of Galleons?” Goldstein responded indignantly. “And anyway, stop insulting us based on our nationality! The Holocaust is long gone, and I dare you to play as a Nazi somewhere else!”
– What happened? – I approached Vega, who was watching the developments with interest.
“Nothing interesting,” the girl said, slapping Malfoy Jr. on the back of the head. “It’s just that some overconfident heir decided to play cards for money and lost everything.”
“He cheated.” Romulus frowned and lowered his head. “I just wanted to get even.”
“And you lost the family jewel!” The elder Black looked sternly at the boy. “I will definitely inform your father; with such actions you are disgracing your family name!”
– Yes, Mordred with this money! – Diana still did not calm down. – Give me back the cufflinks!
– What? – Goldstein’s voice sounded surprised.
“Platinum, with black diamonds!” Malfoy lowered her wand and began to explain. “Romulus was given them for his birthday, they’re a family heirloom.”
– So that’s it… I see… – Anthony’s voice sounded thoughtful. – Izzy, give the girl the jewelry! Bistro!
– Oh, no! – Goldstein Jr.’s indignant cry was heard. – Where has it ever been seen before that an honest Jew would give away his honest winnings! Help! They’re robbing us!
“Israel Goldstein!” Anthony barked. “Turn off your mouth and turn on your brain this instant! Then gather your courage and return the jewelry to its rightful owner! Otherwise, you can forget about your share in our enterprise.”
“Well, Tony…” the younger Jew continued to stand his ground. “I won fairly, it’s not my fault that this schlemiel doesn’t know how to play.”
“And for a schlemazl, I’ll swap your arms and legs right now!” Diana angrily intervened in the squabble between the two Jews.
– Sha! I’m sick of this Privoz! – Anthony barked loudly. – Izya, either you give the girl the jewelry right now or I’m calling Grandpa Mona! Don’t disgrace our honest and selfless family!
After this phrase, many in the carriage chuckled skeptically, and the clink of coins and some kind of fuss were heard in the compartment.
“Here…” Izya muttered quietly. “Let your brother learn the rules and learn to play. By the way, I can teach you, for a modest…” A slap was heard and the boy fell silent.
“Miss Malfoy, I want to apologize for my cousin’s behavior,” Anthony spoke up. “Izzy is a good and honest boy, we didn’t mean to offend you.”
“Accepted, my younger brother is also to blame.” Diana calmed down completely. “You too, forgive me, I got a little carried away.”
Malfoy came out of the compartment and headed in our direction, and when she saw me, she smiled with the corner of her mouth and nodded.
– It’s fun here. – I smiled back.
– And don’t tell me, by the way, I completely forgot to tell you, – the Slytherin looked me over with an appraising glance, – the new hairstyle suits you.
“Thank you, you’ve gotten prettier over the summer too.” I tilted my head to the side. “Those circles under my eyes match the color of your robe.”
“I’ll tell you later…” Diana waved her hand with a smile and looked at her younger brother. “And now I need to talk to Romulus about his behavior. Mordred, it’s contagious!” Malfoy turned around and saw our entire crowd emerging into the corridor. “Too many Goldsteins, too many Weasleys!”
“Well, it looks like it’s time for us to go,” Vega nodded and took her muttering friend by the elbow. “Hellsing, boys, girls.”
– See you later. – I said goodbye in return.
After watching the Blacks and Malfoys leave, I decided it was time for us to go back to our own place, so I headed back to my own. The girls were standing in the corridor, happily whispering about something, and the boys were hanging out in their compartment. Peering inside, I wasn’t even surprised: Justin was looking melancholically out the window, and Ron was watching longingly as Goldstein Jr. counted a handful of coins.
– Did you lose too? – I turned to the guys with a smile.
“I’ll clean it out.” Finch-Fletchley demonstratively turned out his empty pockets.
– I wish I’d never… – Weasley began to grumble quietly, – sat down to play with the Jews… I’d rather just play with the goblins…
“I warned you!” Anthony addressed the boys in a didactic tone. “That little thug was taught to play by Grandpa Dava himself, and he always has a couple more aces in his deck.”
“I didn’t cheat!” Izya said. “I’m just good at counting and I know how to play.”
“So I take it everyone’s realized that gambling doesn’t lead to anything good?” Hermione looked at her friends with a sly smile. “So I suggest we drop the subject and go back.”
– Where are you going? We haven’t finished our tea, have we? – Luna came out to us with a full cup of hot drink. – And Mione didn’t finish the story about Flora and Vasya.
Our little tea party continued, during which the future first-years met a cheeky snake and a sweet fairy, while the familiars proudly posed and basked in the glory. Having finished our meal, we began to head back; after all, this was the first-year carriage. Goldstein expressed a desire to stay and have a talk with his cousin, and we filed into the Gryffindor carriage. I dread to imagine the chaos going on there now.
As soon as we were in the badger car, the door of the nearest compartment slid open, and a half-naked, petite girl was thrown out by a spell. Amidst a roar of laughter, the unfortunate girl was slammed hard against the wall, and as she struggled to stand, I took a closer look at her. She looked to be in her second or third year, wearing only panties and torn tights, covered in blood, the skin on her back and shoulders cracked in places and bearing numerous burns and blows, and her legs were covered in bruises and cuts.
“Tell the dean, and I’ll knock out all your teeth and then force you to your knees!” A mocking male voice came from the compartment, followed by a pile of torn clothes. “Get out of here, Mudblood!”
The girl grabbed her things and, without turning around, wandered off in the opposite direction from us, her body swaying violently from side to side, her shoulders shaking with quiet sobs.
“What if she complains to Bones or the prefect?” Another male voice spoke up.
“So what? My father is the Deputy Head of the Auror Office, and this whore is just an underage Mudblood.” Came the sarcastic reply.
– I still had to fuck her… – The dialogue between the two bastards continued.
“It’s boring, and besides, we had a blast at Mummy Ro’s yesterday,” a sly voice answered. “That slut is still so small and inexperienced, and she decided to start kicking…”
– But how she squealed and begged her to let her go! – A cheerful laugh rang out.
– Mudbloods are all like that, he’ll know his place, in a week we’ll reinforce the educational talk…
– Maybe we should bring him back too? There are no restrictions on the train.
– Nooo, I’m too lazy… Although her butt is pretty… It works… – A cheerful laugh came from the compartment again.
I listened to these sadistic bastards, and a bloody haze thickened before my eyes. In confession, Father Benedict had told me to listen to my heart, and right now it wanted to cripple these creatures. The brass knuckles had long since been in my hand, and, grinning bloodthirstily, I met Mia’s gaze. My friend had already pulled a couple of flashbangs from her bag and nodded confidently. The boys stood behind me, angrily clenching their fists. Ron was the older brother of his beloved sister, and Justin was simply raised in the best traditions of imperial aristocracy.
“Jas, as soon as we enter, slam the door. Elvira, you need a silencing charm. Ron, keep the Wonderphone handy.” I whispered the orders and, after waiting for affirmative nods, looked Mia in the eye. We had long ago learned to communicate without words.
Hermione, smiling contentedly, tossed two flashbang grenades into the bastards’ compartment, and I added a traumatic one (Author’s note: The grenade’s body is made of rubberized plastic, and instead of lethal shrapnel, about two hundred rubber balls fly off when it explodes ). As soon as the presents were inside, I telekinetically slammed the door, which was immediately hit by a Silencer spell. After waiting three seconds, I opened the door again, and Mione and I rushed inside, the door closing silently again.
The sight before me was heartwarming: two half-naked seniors, semi-conscious, sprawled on the floor, their bodies covered in bruises and hematomas. The protective artifacts absorbed most of the rubber balls, but there were too many for such a tiny space. One of the bastards tried to stand, but I didn’t let him raise his head and hit him on the back of the head with a brass knuckle, then again and again. Meanwhile, the other was getting hit in the face and head with a heavy combat boot, Mia hitting him with all her might. We only stopped when the pair were completely knocked out, and the room was covered in blood almost to the ceiling. The heroes who love to bully helpless girls turned out to be pathetic weaklings; it was even kind of boring.
So I materialized an athame and started pulling down the boys’ pants. They wouldn’t be able to rape me anymore, they simply wouldn’t have anything to use. However, Mia intercepted my hand, and meeting her chocolate-colored eyes, I received an intriguing thought-image that made me smile contentedly. It’s moments like these that I simply adore my friend. I dispelled the athame and pulled a couple of empty vials from my bag, into which we quickly drew the blood of the corrupted bastards. Once we were done “sampling,” we began breaking their bones and injuring them in every way possible. We needed to ensure they spent the night in the hospital wing. Finally, I gave one of the sadists a hearty slam with the heel of my army boot, but I couldn’t resist, and the athame reappeared in my hand.
While I was succumbing to a bloodthirsty creative impulse, my friend used magic to gather the remains of the grenades, fortunately the rubber balls were enchanted and had already turned to dust. When I finished, I admired my work with a satisfied smile and dispelled the black ritual stiletto. Now it was perfect, completely feng shui-like. Mia, meanwhile, was staring at the Miraclephone screen and, after a couple of minutes, nodded. We quickly left the blood-soaked room and found ourselves in an empty corridor. There was no need to worry about traces of magic; there were so many students casting spells on the train that finding the right mold was simply impossible.
Nodding to our friends, we silently broke ranks and headed to our compartment. The boys didn’t ask any questions, and we weren’t in a hurry to share the details of our actions. I imagined the badgers’ reaction when they found their comrades, and a satisfied grin spread across my face. Holding our shields, we quickly reached the right car, where the party was gaining momentum, and the level of bacchanalia only increased. Music blared loudly in the corridor, and a glittering mirror ball appeared under the ceiling, with about a dozen half-naked seniors dancing in its reflections. Now just let someone mention the morality of wizards and the fact that swimming in bikinis is indecent!
We cautiously made our way back to our room, but the twins and Wood, naturally drunk as a skunk, blocked our way. The Quidditch captain was wearing a bright red pointy hat and a red thong that was clearly too small, so his hairy bells were sticking out. Fred and George looked more presentable, simply wearing shorts and women’s sports T-shirts with the names Angelina Johnston and Katie Bell. The trio beamed with happiness at seeing us, and the twins began hugging Ron and praising Oliver’s flying and Quidditch skills.
Wood listened to the boys and promised to keep an eye on the younger Ouzley during the qualifying rounds, then offered to accompany us. Thanks to his broad, massive frame, we almost reached the coveted island of peace and quiet, but as we passed another compartment, Oliver heard lustful moans coming from within.
“Quiet.” Wood stopped abruptly and, whispering a spell, threw open the door. “We’re caught!”
The naked couple pulled away from each other, and a second later, a volley of spells flew at the Quidditch captain, while the twins slammed the door and burst into laughter. Oliver was drunk and hadn’t had time to react, so he was now sprawled on the dirty floor with a singed face, his mouth resembling a woman’s reproductive organ; even his hair had grown out.
– What was that? – The senior looked at the hysterical twins. – It’s their fault, they were trying to catch some typhus.
– Let’s go, Ollie, you need to get yourself in order… – Fred tried to lift the big guy and, unable to contain himself, burst out laughing again.
– Maybe we shouldn’t? – I looked thoughtfully at Wood, who was smiling stupidly, – it suits him better this way.
The twins responded by laughing again and even conjuring a mirror, and I realized this was going to last a long time, so I grabbed the girls’ hands and practically dragged them along, Ron and Justin close behind. When the door to our compartment slammed, I closed my eyes, sank down on the sofa, and savored the silence.
“You can do whatever you want, but next year I’m going to the fireplace…” the young aristocrat muttered quietly. “I don’t give a damn about such trips.”
“I agree,” Elvira supported the initiative and shuddered, probably remembering Wood’s bells. “And where are the elders? Why aren’t they keeping order?!”
– Percy and Penelope were in that compartment… – Ron answered. – They don’t have time, did you see how they were studying the prefects’ code?
“We need something to eat with this!” Hermione stood up and pulled a large chocolate cake out of her bag, and I silently handed her a large thermos of tea.
Half an hour later, everyone had come to their senses a bit and decided to take a break. Ron and Justin got out their chess sets, Elvira pulled out some kind of black tome from her bag, and I decided to check something with Hermione.
– Mia, what do you know about house elves?
“I get your point,” the girl responded with a predatory smile. “They’re intelligent magical parasites that feed on magic…”
“And their hearts and kidneys are also used in hangnail ointment, check!” Justin chimed in.
– How do you know? – I looked at the guys in surprise.
“It was in the summer homework, even I remembered it.” Ron looked up from the chessboard and looked at Hermione and me in shock. “What, you didn’t do it… Prince and McCat gave us so much homework, and you…”
My friend and I exchanged glances, then simultaneously looked at the ginger cat and smiled affectionately.
– Ron, let me copy this, – I quietly turned to Weasley, – please.
“Just a minute,” the guy rummaged in his pocket and pulled out a small calendar. “I need to mark the day when two of Hogwarts’ nerds asked me to copy their assignments. Do you have a red marker?”
“Weasley, stop teasing!” Mia started pulling out scrolls of parchment from her bag. “It’s been a very busy summer, and we just haven’t had time…”
“Well, here I am,” Elvira handed us a stack of neatly filed sheets. “Just don’t copy it word for word.”
– When did you have time? – I looked suspiciously at the black-haired girl.
– I wrote the transfiguration while you were riding in the tank, the potions on the day when you and Lady Hellsing were fencing, the spells…
“Okay, okay, I get it.” I interrupted my friend and looked at my watch. “We still have four hours, so we’ll use a combination!” With these words, I laid out the potions essays by Smith and Weasley on the table and quickly scratched my pen.
“Ron, did you copy from Fred?” Five minutes later, Hermione turned to the red-haired boy who was proudly watching our work.
– H-how did you find out? – The guy almost choked on air.
“Your last names are the same, but your first names are different.” Mia pointed to one of the paragraphs and laughed. “You need to be more careful!”
– Oh, man… I was in a hurry! But I wrote the Charms myself, well, almost… – Ron started making excuses. – We’ll fix it now, I just saw the right spell!
Weasley jumped up, muttered something nonsensical, and jabbed his wand at his homework. Perhaps the spell was wrong, or perhaps he’d messed something up, but the parchment eventually caught fire. A panicked Ron couldn’t think of anything smarter to do than pour pomegranate juice on it.
“Jas,” a couple of days later, the three of us turned to Finch-Fletchley, who was throwing around the rags.
“Okay, just don’t burn my homework…” The young aristocrat reluctantly took several expensive folders out of his bag and placed them on the table. “How can you be so irresponsible…”
“You’re the fool,” Ron snapped and began to scratch his quill.
We spent the rest of the journey to Hogwarts copying our summer Potions assignments, and decided to do Transfiguration after lights out. We even forgot about the Sorting, though I was genuinely curious to see where the Sorting Hat would send our friends…
