Honeymoon Phase By Amy Daws Read Free Chapter 40

Luke

Snow sparkles over everything as I struggle to focus on the walk-through of the service tomorrow, my mind swimming with thoughts that I can’t quiet no matter how hard I try. My head tips up as I look at the pergola Addison and I are standing under. It looks even more beautiful with the fresh flakes clinging to the greenery and a weighted pressure hits me in the chest. I can’t believe my brother made this. He must have spent hours on it. Days. Weeks. When did he start it? As soon as he heard about the wedding? Fuck. This is a big thing for him, to dedicate time to a wedding that’s not even real. He already pretty much works two jobs between his own furniture stuff and the family business. Why did he go to all this trouble?

Addison smiles at me, looking stunning as white flakes cling to her glossy black hair. She looks like a damn princess up here as she listens to the officiant rambling about the readings she selected for tomorrow. I release Addison’s hands to wipe the sweat off my palms, my throat feeling tight like I’m having an allergic reaction to something, but I’m not allergic to something.

Except maybe lying.

I glance at my mom, who keeps peeking inside her binder like she’s forgetting something. The lines on her forehead are creased like she’s stressed. I didn’t want her to be stressed. Everly keeps adjusting the chairs, moving them an inch one way or another so they’re all in a perfect line.

Max and Cozy are bribing Ethan with candy to get him to pull Stevie down the aisle in a wagon instead of doing snow angels like he wants to.

It’s all . . . a lot.

Earlier today, I loved it. Now it’s like I’ve finally taken off my rose-colored glasses and I’m seeing what I’ve done to lead up to this moment.

It’s all too much. Too much kindness, too much pressure, too much trust that this thing between me and Addison will work out. She could still walk away from me at the end of this, especially when she finds out John is going to sell the lumberyard. She won’t want to stay married to me then. She might not even want to stay in Boulder. She’ll be devastated and rich and can do whatever the fuck she wants with her life. That is if her dad gives her some of the sale money. Who knows what he might do?

And fuck, my mom’s toast tonight? Jesus Christ. If I tell her I’m getting a divorce after all of this, it will kill her. She’s been through enough. What was I thinking?

I was so focused on Addison and how much I wanted her, how much I wanted her to be happy, that I somehow missed the fact that I’m being a selfish prick to my entire family who have grown attached to this magnificent woman beside me.

My eyes land on John, who’s been giving me looks all night long. Looks I can’t even decipher. He probably thinks I’m a lying asshole too because I obviously haven’t told his daughter about his plans to sell the yard. I am disgusting. I hid the truth from my best friend because I wanted to trick her into marrying me and falling in love with me.

It’s like I’m doing CPR but our relationship is DOA . . . dead on arrival.

Blood rushes in my ears as the officiant ends the rehearsal and I say my goodbyes to everyone on some sort of detached autopilot. I watch all the cars leave the mountain, waving cheerily like this is the best weekend ever, but my mind is battling with this overwhelming sense of impending doom.

Addison kisses me on the cheek and says something about going back to our house with Dakota and Trista to discuss plans for hair and makeup tomorrow. My mom takes Stevie back to Wyatt’s to put her to bed, opting to spend the night in their spare room so she doesn’t have to make the drive up the mountain roads again tomorrow.

I nod and watch everyone go their separate ways when suddenly I feel my feet carrying me backward, away from my cabin, and as far away from this wedding setup as I can get. Part of me wants to disappear into the woods, but it’s cold as fuck and the night air nips at my neck, so I pull my coat collar up and beeline to the barn. I just need a moment to collect my thoughts. Just a breather. Today was a lot and I need to touch some fucking ground and get my shit together.

Millie bleats as soon as I enter the barn and start pacing down the alleyway, completely ignoring Trista’s pig, Sir Reginald, and the weird fucking tongue-hanging horse Handsome and the alpacas. Shit, what were their names again? Like band instruments? Trombone? Fuck knows. Three black-headed sheep are asleep in the corner stall, and I didn’t even know we had sheep. Plus, the highland cow that looks like a toy is sharing a stall with Millie.

It’s a damn petting zoo in here and it’s overflowing. I need to get Trista’s rescue center estimate sent to her. I’ve been sitting on it for too long. Distracted by . . . my best friend . . .

Who doesn’t love me.

“Hey, what are you doing out here?” Calder asks, stepping through the Dutch barn doors with Wyatt close behind.

“You good?” Wyatt asks, staring at me with concern that looks just like dad.

Fuck I hate that look. It makes me feel panicky inside.

“This is all too much, you guys. This was a bad idea. The whole thing.”

“What are you talking about?” Wyatt folds his arms over his chest and furrows his brow at me.

“The lying, the manipulating. It’s bad enough that I did it, but I dragged you all down with me and that makes this all ten times worse.”

I rake my hands through my hair and kick Reggie’s stall, stirring him from his sleep under his fucking blanket on his own personal mattress.

“You need to take a breath,” Calder says, holding his hands out to me like he’s going to corral me into a pen next.

“I need to confess everything to Addison before the wedding. I can’t let her walk down the aisle tomorrow and be faking it for all of you. This wedding Mom and Everly threw together is beautiful. I don’t want it to be fake. I want it to be real.”

“I think it is real,” Wyatt says, his eyes urgent on me. “She loves you. It’s clear as day.”

“It’s not real if she doesn’t know everything we did,” I exclaim, my heart pounding. “Jesus Christ, Everly roped you guys into helping me train for weeks for that lumberjack competition just so I could get her to marry me and fall in love with me. That is so fucked. Then the night out at the Merc when you made us kiss.”

“Luke, I think this is just prewedding nerves,” Calder says with a tense shrug.

“It’s deeper than that, damn it,” I snap back, my tone visceral. “I don’t want her love if the only way I got it was through lying and manipulating. I want to be enough for her.”

“You are enough, Luke,” Wyatt states, eyeing me harshly. “It’s obvious you’ve just been trying to impress her all this time. What’s the real harm in that?”

“The harm is that it was all for nothing because her dad is going to sell the yard to Robyn and her husband anyways, which means Addison doesn’t need me and she never did,” I add, my mind flashing back to my conversation with John. “Her whole life is going to be turned upside down when she finds out, and as her friend, I should be the one person she can lean on through it all, but I’ve been too busy lying to her for weeks just like her father. This is all too much. I have to come clean.”

“You just did.” Addison’s voice cuts into my mental warfare and I turn around to see her stepping into the barn, and the expression on her face . . . is completely devastating.

Addison

“Babe . . . listen,” Luke rushes out, trying to approach me but I hold my hand up, stopping him in his tracks.

“I heard all I needed to hear.” I frown and lick my lips, pulling my coat tight around me, refusing to show a spec of emotion on my face. I squint over to Luke and his brothers as they stand in the barn with their fucking dicks in their hands talking about me behind my back. How many times have they all done that? How many times have they plotted and schemed together about me?

Me.

Like I’m so damn important.

I focus on the most important thing first. “My dad is selling the yard to your ex?”

Luke’s face is hollow and slack as he nods. “I think so.”

“That should be a fun transition.” I bark out a dry laugh as I sniff and stare at the floor, dragging my feet through the straw scattered beneath my boots. “And on top of that, everyone on this mountain knew our marriage was a lie? Did I hear right?”

“Not everyone knew,” Luke offers, shoving a hand through his hair.

“Who didn’t know, Luke? The fucking goat?” I bite, my tone acidic as I hang on to my sanity by a thread.

As if on cue, Millie bleats and I want to scream.

“I feel like such an idiot.” I laugh and shake my head, my stomach twisted in knots. “I thought this was real between you and me, but it wasn’t. I thought I was becoming a part of your family, but I’ve been an unknowing participant to some weird manipulative game you’re all playing to get me.”

My mind reels as I replay the last several weeks with this Fletcher family. All the women in that bridal store with me, gushing over my gowns, taking me out for drinks. The Fletcher Mountain group chat. The engraved cutting board. Luke’s mom being so sweet with all the wedding planning. All those kind, tender looks. They were all just . . . playing their part? No wonder Everly was watching me all night long. She was just waiting to see if their big, grand scheme worked.

I thought these people were my friends, but they were just playing make-believe as well. This is humiliating.

“And Robyn?” I ask, hating to even utter her name. “You knew your ex was trying to buy the lumberyard out from under me and you didn’t tell me? How fucking easy is it for you to lie to me, Luke?”

“I found out two days ago and went straight to your dad.”

“Oh cool, so you plotted with him about me as well. Wonderful! I’m surrounded by liars.” I blow out a deep breath, feeling my head start to spin. “You know, maybe you can run the yard with Robyn. The way you were looking at her a couple weeks ago, it’s clear there’s nothing fake between the two of you. Maybe that’s been your plan all along.”

“Don’t do this,” Luke says, his face sad and resolute. “Don’t make shit up just to villainize me further. You know that’s not who I am.”

“I don’t know you at all!” I scream, my voice hoarse and dense in the quiet barn. “How long have you had feelings for me?”

Luke’s jaw clenches as his lips twitch. “A while.”

“How long?”

He closes his eyes and says in a breath, “Years.”

“And you didn’t think maybe you should just grow a pair of balls and tell me?”

“No, Addison, I didn’t because I know you and you would have never given me a fucking chance.”

“Now we’ll never know!”

He exhales harshly out his nose. “You are looking for reasons to push me away because you’re scared about what’s building between us because it’s not the future you planned for yourself. But this is real. You know it’s real.”

“Our marriage is a mountain of lies. It’s fiction!”

“It was never fiction for me,” Luke says, and I feel my whole head spin.

“Well, it doesn’t matter because now not only do I have to divorce my best friend. I have to divorce the man I’m in love with because he’s a fucking liar.”

I turn on my heel, ignoring the devastated look on Luke’s face over my declaration as I storm out of the barn and away from the man who sounds like a complete stranger. That is not my best friend. That is not the person I let hold me in bed every night. The man who I thought I fell in love with. Love? What a joke. I clearly have no clue what love even feels like if I fell for all of this.

And my God, the Robyn stuff. What the actual fuck? My dad is going to sell anyways? To her? How? How did she get her hands into him of all people? That girl better pray she never crosses paths with me again or I will end up in jail just like my mother.

I stumble in the snow-packed lane as a deep, soul-crushing pain slices through me with that dark thought. My fear of turning out like my mother is exactly why I never wanted to fall in love or get married. I’m not built for this. I’m too raw, too troubled, too fucked-up. My genetics are horrific.

The sound of footsteps echoes behind me, so I pick up my pace, pushing my dark thoughts away. I dig into my coat pocket for my car keys ready to get as far away from Luke as possible.

“What are you doing?” Luke asks, out of breath as a cloud of air puffs in front of his lips.

“I’m going to leave this fucking mountain.”

“Don’t do that.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s snowing.”

“I’ve got four-wheel drive, Luke. I’ll be fine.”

“You’re upset. You shouldn’t drive.”

“Why would I be upset? I’d have to care about you to be upset.”

“You just told me you love me, Addison.”

“I loved who I thought you were! Not this person in front of me who lies just like everyone else in my life.” I get to my car and grab my door handle, jumping in shock when Luke reaches out to take my keys. “Give those back.”

“No.”

“Luke!”

“I’m not going to let you drive away like this,” he roars, his face red with anger. “We’re married and you’re going to stay and work this out with me. You don’t leave. This is real now. No more fact or fiction question. You are my wife. I am your husband. We signed those papers together. And I fucking love you, Addison. I love you so much that I will trap you up on this mountain until you can admit you still love me.”

“Of course I love you,” I cry, my voice hoarse. “I love you, Luke, but you lied to me.”

The sounds of more footsteps approach and I swerve my head to see Luke’s brothers closing in, herding me like I’m one of Trista’s livestock animals. They even have the nerve to stand in front of my car with their arms crossed like they won’t let me go. “What are you guys going to do? Hold me hostage?”

“What’s going on?” Trista’s voice calls from Luke’s front deck as she steps outside with Dakota.

“These Fletcher brothers have trapped me up on this mountain!”

Trista and Dakota stare back at us in confusion.

“The jig is up,” I snarl at their perplexed expressions. “I know you guys all know that my marriage to Luke was bullshit. You can all quit acting like you like me or like I’m one of the family. Just give me my keys so I can go home and get away from you all. Please.” I fight back the tears at how utterly alone I feel in this moment. I don’t have Luke. I don’t have the ladies. I don’t even have Luke’s mom. Probably the fucking rooster even hates me.

Dakota steps down the front steps walking straight toward me. “Addison, on my life, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Me neither,” Trista adds, following close behind.

I swerve my eyes to Luke, who nods to confirm. “They didn’t know. It’s only me, Calder, and Wyatt who know. And Max I guess.”

“And Everly,” Calder adds, looking wildly uncomfortable. “She was kind of in charge.”

“Oh, is that all?” I groan and shove a hand through my hair.

“What are you guys talking about?” Trista asks, turning to her husband.

Wyatt winces but it’s Calder who fills in the blanks. “Luke and Addison got married to help Addison inherit the lumberyard and we were sort of helping Luke figure out a way to get her to . . . fall in love with him.” Calder lifts his hands, looking sheepish.

“Why would you do that? She obviously already loves him,” Trista says and somehow those words cut deeper than they should.

“Wait, so you knew these two weren’t married for real and you just lied to me?” Dakota asks, stepping past me to stare at Calder accusingly.

“Give her the keys,” Trista growls, turning her attention to Luke.

“No.” Luke steps back with a stubborn set to his jaw.

“Give them to her!” Dakota yells at Luke, who has the nerve to look at least moderately afraid.

Luke turns his eyes to me with a pleading look. “It’s not safe.”

Trista turns her fury to her husband. “Fine, then we’re going to Seven Brides for Seven Brothers this shit.”

“What?” Dakota and I both ask, frowning at Trista.

“Seven Brides for Seven Brothers . . . the 1950s musical about seven brothers who all live on a mountain and go to town and basically human traffic women to be their brides?”

Everyone continues staring back in confusion, but I hear Wyatt murmur something under his breath.

“They abduct them and take them up to their mountain and an avalanche blocks the roadway preventing the townspeople from riding up to save them. Anyways, Milly, the only ridiculous female up there by choice, gets mad at the brothers and kicks them all out to the barn, so yeah . . . you boys are all sleeping in the barn.”

“Wait a minute,” Calder says, taking a step forward.

“You’re all sleeping in the barn,” Trista screeches, leaving no room for argument.

Wyatt grumbles under his breath as he and Calder both stare back at the girls before turning on their heels and sulking all the way back to the barn.

Luke steps toward me. “Addison, please. Can we just talk?”

“You talked plenty with your brothers,” I croak, my voice raw in my throat. “It’s too late for you to want to talk to me now.”

Luke exhales heavily and when he turns to walk down the hill toward the barn, my chin trembles as tears fill my eyes. Instantly, Trista and Dakota wrap me up in their arms and walk me into the house . . . that doesn’t feel a bit like home anymore. It feels like a stranger’s house.