Chapter 21
Nadiya
I set my alarm thirty minutes earlier than usual.
Whatever you say, I have two children and one husband, whom I can’t bring myself to call that.
And yes, I wasn’t hired. And I’m not obligated to be.
Idar didn’t ask or order me to feed everyone either. His fridge is full of frozen food. It’s not store-bought; it’s immediately obvious that it was prepared by his mother’s caring hands. Plus, there are still some leftovers he ordered for delivery the day before.
But my conscience won’t let me put my hand in there, so I close the kitchen door, quietly turn on some music on my phone, and start cooking an omelet in the oven, dancing on the spot.
Zeus is running around in his enclosure outside the window, and I’m thinking about how I need to spend more time with this guy. My first impression, of course, was deceiving—behind his terrifying exterior, I discovered a very sociable dog.
I remember yesterday. The way Idar touched me.
He was worried about me, and, alas, no matter how much I would like to do this, I cannot ignore his attention.
I try, I honestly try to convince myself that it was simply an act of humanity, nothing more.
He’s the owner of the dog I was scared of. If it were anyone else, he would have done the same thing.
And yet the foolish heart, tired of being disappointed, still hopes for something more.
And this is my big mistake, I’m sure.
I heard Idar talking to Olesya before bed. He was irritated, they’d clearly been arguing, but that doesn’t change the fact that my husband is with another woman.
That evening, lying in bed, I clenched the hand that Idar had touched into a fist.
His hand is dry and hot. The surface of his palm is rough, as if he’s been doing heavy physical work. He’s prickly on the outside, but is he prickly on the inside?
I shake my head, realizing my thoughts are heading in the wrong direction. I need to stop here and now, because the chances of me being able to pull myself together after yet another disappointment are practically nonexistent.
– Hello.
I turn around abruptly.
Idar stands in the doorway, dressed again in a suit and white shirt. The scent of his cologne, now familiar and associated only with him, wafts into the kitchen.
“Good,” I nod.
Idar goes to the oven and looks inside.
– Omelette?
– Yes.
“Can I count on a piece?” he smiles.
– Of course. I made enough for everyone.
Hang in there, Nadiya. Don’t melt into a puddle in front of Idar.
– You will spoil me with home-cooked food.
I’d like to ask: what, Olesya doesn’t feed you? After all, if my memory serves me right, she was your personal chef.
“I have to thank you somehow for helping me with Nazar,” I find a compelling reason, which, of course, is not the only correct one.
“Let’s not? Especially since I haven’t done anything yet,” he replies, sitting down at the table. “By the way, I showed Nazar’s documents to my friend, but I haven’t received a conclusion yet.”
“What conclusion should there be?” I frown.
Is he going to jump off?
— It is possible that there are alternatives and the operation could be performed in Russia.
I don’t really like this state of affairs.
“I inquired. We don’t perform such operations here. I consulted with doctors at rehabilitation centers, but no one would undertake the operation. It’s complicated, and the risk of failure is very high.”
Idar is not offended by my protest, but only comes closer.
— Did your uncle help you learn about surgery options?
I can’t help but smile.
“Tamerlan doesn’t care about Nazar’s problem. I learned everything myself, through the doctors I work with.”
Or rather, through Misha. He was mainly involved in guiding me.
There’s no point in distrusting the words of several doctors I spoke with. They are reputable specialists, it’s just that… Nazar’s case is quite complex.
“Listen, I’m not jumping off,” Idar holds out his hand, reassuring me. “But I have contacts with the doctors, and I’d like to get to the bottom of the situation.”
Slow down, Nadia.
It will be difficult to simply explain to Idar that I was discovered so often, promised that everything would be fine, and then simply disappeared.
“Tell me the verdict later,” I shrug.
“Don’t worry, Nadya. I promised to help Nazar, so I’ll keep my word.”
“Thank you,” I smile at Idar.
Our gazes meet—and suddenly, like a magnet, they’re drawn to each other. The atmosphere in the kitchen thickens, filling with electricity, the air becomes heavy, and every breath feels labored, as if an invisible hand were squeezing my lungs.
Idar stares at me, mesmerized, his gaze darkening, frightening and captivating me. Slowly, inexorably, he approaches, closing the distance, and I feel the heat of his body without even touching it.
I need to step back, push away, stop, but my legs feel like they’re on the floor, and my body disobediently freezes, betraying my mind.
The voices in my head explode into chaos, shouting over each other:
He won’t dare, he won’t kiss…
Please, just kiss me…
The door to the kitchen opens and Leila runs into the kitchen, followed by Nazar.
I jump away from Idar and pretend to be terribly busy preparing breakfast.
The four of us are having breakfast, light chatter about plans for the day hangs in the air, but I do my best to pretend that I don’t feel that gaze – burning, heavy as lead, piercing the skin, making the heart beat wildly.
But he has a different one.
The woman he’s been with for what? Five years?
Nadiya, you didn’t fall in love with him, did you? Because that’s the most destructive, the most insane thing you could have done in this house.
This is a ticket to the abyss.
