Chapter 11
Rowan
‘ll, ah, come back later,” I stammer, trying to work out what to do with
my eyes. I simultaneously want to look toward the smooth swath of
skin showing at the top of Logan’s perfectly muscled ass, and to see
nothing more of what’s happening in that general vicinity. The wet sounds
of hips slapping against thighs and the girl’s soft grunts of pleasure mark
the time. Heat flares through my face. And through the rest of me.
“You can stay,” Logan calls over his shoulder, without slowing down his
thrusts. “Alyssa likes the extra eyes, don’t you pet?” He drives harder into
the blonde and her answering moan of approval tells me he’s right.
I most definitely don’t want to be aiding and abetting Alyssa’s orgasm.
I go for the door and try to think about potted plants. Or potions.
Anything except the rhythmic slap slap slap of flesh.
Logan sighs in annoyance. “Fine. Just don’t go far.”
I consider telling him where he and his orders can go, but he is one of
Kai’s triad and I don’t think any part of that would end well for me. I’m not
about to get myself into more trouble than I’m in already.
“I’ll… be outside.” I slip out before Logan can offer more guidance and
flatten myself against the wall, catching my breath. Maybe I should make a
run for it after all. Except where would I go and to what end? After seeing
the way Kai handled my mother and his friends, I’ve no doubt that whatever
he’s got in store for me, there is no escaping it. So I stay in the hallway,
cringing as Alyssa’s moans on the other side of the door grow in intensity.
At least one of us is enjoying the evening. Well, two of the three of us.
Everyone but me.
I’m still trying to pretend I’m somewhere else, when the door to Logan’s
room opens and Alyssa steps out, readjusting her clothes as she walks.
There is a self-satisfied look on her face, and the kind of glow I’ve heard
people get after good sex but have never experienced myself. My body’s
personal sexual continuum ranges from boring to painful. At least Collin
doesn’t drag it out.
“You aren’t his type.”
It takes me a moment to realize Alyssa is talking to me. She is a combat
cadet, all tall, and lean, and graceful. Perky lips. Legs that go forever.
“Well aware,” I tell her.
She surveys me up and down, her gaze lingering on the scar on my face
before eye-measuring my breasts and waistline. Her tone softens into
something conciliatory.
“Don’t get me wrong, you could put some work in. Slim down some, get
a bit more tone on the muscles. Maybe hold your spine straighter. There is
no help for your height of course, but heels can do wonders. And that…” she
gestures to her face, where perfect skin is framed by perfect hair in
opposition to my scar. “Well, I don’t think even makeup will help, so better
try a different route entirely. Perhaps a strategic hair do. Or a mask?
Something cute and pretty.”
“Oh for gods’ sake,” I put my hand out to stop her. “I’m here on orders.
Literally. I have zero desire to fuck Logan.”
She scoffs. “That’s what every girl in the entire year says. And yet
everyone dreams of doing exactly that. Personally, I don’t see the point of
the I don’t even want him game.” She drops her voice conspiratorially. “The
rumor is true by the way.”
“What rumor?” I know I shouldn’t take the bait, but I do anyway.
“That you’ve not climaxed, until he’s made you climax.”
I stick a second palm out to join the first. The embarrassed heat coming
off me is probably enough to power a small village. “I really don’t want to
know about his climaxes. Or your climaxes. Or anyone else’s climaxes.
Really. In fact, the only thing I enjoy less than hearing about them, is being
forced to listen to them happening live.”
She gives me a pitiful look, like I’m lying to myself.
I switch tacks, though I’m not sure why I’m bothering. “Actually, I’m
already with someone. So fuck Logan all you like. Twice a day. Three times
a night. I’ll be cheering for you. Not in person though. I really don’t want to
be supportive of any of this in person ever again.”
She frowns, her pretty face turning pensive before she snaps her fingers.
“Wait. I’m sorry, who you are just clicked into place for me now. You are
one of Collin Chambers’s girls, aren’t you?”
One of them? I don’t like the implication, but I also suspect that Alyssa
is trying to get under my skin. Instead of giving her the satisfaction, I
plaster on a big smile and reach for the door handle. “Exactly right. So see,
not your competition at all.”
“Oh sweetheart, you were never my competition.” Her voice drips with
pity as she saunters off and I wonder what living in her head must be like.
I take a deep breath, remind myself that the world is full of Alyssas, and
push open the door to Logan’s room—remembering, at the last moment, the
danger of that particular move. Too late now.
I shut my eyes quickly, lest he has Alyssa number two bent over another
piece of furniture.
“All safe now,” Logan says dryly.
I pull the door closed. “Just to clarify, that means your cock is inside
your pants, correct?”
“For the moment.”
Asshole. I open my eyes to find Logan sitting atop his desk, the same
one that Alyssa had been recently bent over. His britches are thankfully in
place, even if his knees are sprawled wide apart. He tosses a dagger into the
air, lets it spin, then catches it by the hilt. “So, you are the alchemist.”
“And you are Kai’s headache. Well, his other headache.”
“Pleasure to meet you.” Logan makes an elaborate bow then slides off
the table, coming closer to study me. He is tall like the azure twins, his
shoulders easily clearing my head, but his eyes are a honey gold. His openly
appreciative gaze traces my hips and chest. I get the sense that this is his
version of being polite, since there is nothing there to actually appreciate,
especially on Alyssa’s heels.
Then his gaze lands on my face and the good humor sizzles from his
eyes like a doused flame.
It takes me a moment to realize that he is staring at my scars. So much
for pretenses of polite behavior. His hand flickers at his side, as if he is
about to reach forward but then doesn’t. “Where is that from?”
“The past.” I touch the raised marks. It’s been more than six years now,
but I can still feel the terror of seeing the wolf’s maw come at me. The pain
and blood that came next. Being told how fortunate I was that the animal
had just punctured my flesh instead of ripping it from my bones altogether.
How stupid I’d been to get close to begin with.
An unreadable expression runs over Logan’s features—unreadable, yet
it sucks all the joy and humor from the room. He isn’t looking at me with
admiring eyes anymore. Not at all. And even though I knew from the start it
had been nothing but a flattery game, for some reason it still stings.
I clear my throat. “So, according to Grayson, you are to help me pass
my fitness test and I’m—”
“That won’t be happening.”
“Which part exactly? Because I’m right with you about the fitness test.
Math on the other hand, that we can do.”
Logan flips his dagger again then throws the damn thing into the wall,
so close to my left ear that I feel the wind as it rushes by. “No part is
happening. The part of you and me doing anything together. That’s the part
that’s not happening.”
“But Grayson—”
“I’ll deal with Grayson.” He walks past me and opens the door, clearly
inviting me to leave. The turnabout is so swift that my wits whiplash and I
speak before considering the wisdom of doing so.
“What the fuck just happened?” I ask.
“I opened the door. The next step is you going through it. Which part
confuses you?” There is no laughter in his voice, no easy grace in his broad
shoulders. Frankly, he was more congenial when he had his cock inside
Alyssa.
I touch my scar, which seems to have been the catalyst for the turnabout
and try to fool myself into insisting that I don’t care. That if Logan’s
decision point hinges on whether I look Alyssa-perfect, that’s commentary
on him more than me. I know all the right things to say to myself. I even
know that they are probably true. But the reminder that I’m damaged goods
and will be forever still crushes my chest. Because that part is also true.
I walk out of Logan’s room, managing to hold my head up high as I
pass him. Small victory.
Exiting the combat cadets’ barracks, I scramble for something to keep
myself occupied and my mind off what just happened. I check the time. The
one good thing that came from Logan throwing me out early is that I should
be able to catch Collin while he is changing to look presentable for
formation. We won’t have much time, but I long to feel his arms around me.
Long for reassurance that the people who truly care for me don’t give a
damn about scars.
Despite the pressing of time, I make a quick detour to the kitchen and
swipe a couple of scones out from beneath the nose of a plump cook who
kindly pretends not to notice. Loot in hand, I dash for the enchanters’
barracks.
“Orange cranberry for the win,” I say, pushing the door open with my
shoulder. “Because we are celebrating—”
My voice dies as Collin scrambles off of the bed, pulling the bedspread
around his hips. The combat cadet remaining amidst the sheets relaxes
against the backboard, not even trying to hide her nakedness.
