In the parents’ lounge, Sophie introduced herself to a circle of
mothers seated in rocking chairs. They welcomed her in and
made space for her to pull up a rocker. Sophie listened as the
mothers exchanged delivery stories. A mother sitting next to
Sophie was in tears as she recounted the delivery of her baby
who was so premature she was told he may not survive. Sophie
couldn’t believe that there were babies younger and smaller than
Danny. Her heart went out to this mother.
Another mother excitedly recounted her delivery in detail,
including how her husband passed out and collapsed into a chair.
“The nurse had to give him smelling salts for him to watch our
baby being born.” She chuckled as she told the story. “Luckily he
was okay—the baby, that is.” A couple of the mothers gasped.
“No, I’m kidding. My husband’s fine too.” The group of moms
laughed.
As they spoke, Sophie flashed back to her own delivery. She
remembered she had brushed Dr. Wagner’s hand away as he got
ready for the delivery. She had tried a second time to get his hands
off her. She knew why that baritone voice of his that echoed in
her head made her feel so anxious. She was back in college—a
blind date that had ended in rape. That nightmare had come
rushing back when she felt Dr. Wagner’s hands in places that
were all wrong. Or was it just her imagination? Was she blending
her delivery with the memories of her date rape?
She shook her head, trying to make the thoughts go away,
37
THE VERY BEST OF CARE
but the memory stuck. Over the years, she had buried it, forc
ing it down so that it could never resurface. But it had returned
with disturbing clarity. She felt her heart in her chest and blood
pounding in her ears as those feelings of shame and then anger
flooded over her. She sat on her hands to keep them from shak
ing and worked to focus on what the other women were saying.
“And you know, I’m embarrassed to even say it, but Dr. Wag
ner was touching me in a creepy way while he was getting ready
to do my delivery,” said one mother. “Like, his hands were in
places they didn’t belong for catching my baby.” She blushed as
she looked around to the other mothers, then lowered her head.
Sophie nodded. She wasn’t blending. Dr. Wagner had
touched her and this other mother in ways that weren’t okay.
Once the circle broke up and the women had dispersed, Sophie
introduced herself to the woman who had sat next to her.
“I think you and I had similar experiences with Dr. Wagner.”
“I am so glad to hear you say that,” the woman said. She
grabbed Sophie’s arm, embarrassed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to
say it that way. I’m not glad that it happened to you, but glad that
you know what I’m talking about. I keep going over my delivery
in my head and keep coming back to Dr. Wagner’s hands.”
“I don’t think it was your imagination,” Sophie said. “Are
you going to say anything?”
The mother shrugged and looked at Sophie with the same
uncertainty that Sophie felt.
Later Adam caught up with Sophie in the cafeteria. The lunch
crowd was just thinning out. The window next to them looked
out over an expansive open space revealing a snow-covered lawn.
Ice hung heavily from the tree branches, weighing them down
until they nearly touched the ground. Sophie told Adam about
her recall of Dr. Wagner delivering Danny.
38
JULIE HATCH
“Adam, I’m going to administration. Just because he’s
the chief doesn’t mean it’s okay for him to touch his patients
inappropriately.”
“I totally agree.”
“And it wasn’t just me. I talked with another mother who had
the same thing happen when Dr. Wagner delivered her baby.”
“Want me to go with you?”
“No. I should do this alone.” As they got up to leave, Sophie
paused. She looked again out the window. “This place must be
beautiful in the spring.”
“Yeah, I bet it is,” Adam agreed. “I just hope we’re not still
here to see it.
