Don’t Hurt the Cowboy by Sandy Appleyard Online Read Free Novel

The shot of the trees turned out exactly how I wanted it to. I was afraid that it wouldn’t come out properly in the dark room, but my luck didn’t run out today. It sure ran out last night, though, when I had to run for my dear life. I knew I was trespassing, and I know the reputation that Billy Barnes has in this town. Of course, I’ve never met him, but judging by the look on that man’s face, either that’s Billy Barnes or his angry brother. It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve gotten into trouble for trespassing. It’s part of being an artist. Sometimes I find beautiful places that I have no business being in, but I can’t help myself.

It’s been weeks now, but I’ve been heading over to that ranch, waiting for the perfect moment to take that picture. I’ve tested it at certain times of the day, on cloudy days, I even tried once on a rainy day. That was the perfect shot last night. It was brilliant. Luckily, I got all the footage that I needed, before I was caught. I wasn’t really afraid for my life, more so I was afraid that he would confiscate my camera equipment. That happened once when I was a teenager. I had taken the most perfect shot of a little girl’s silhouette in the moonlight, but her daddy didn’t like that much, so he stole my camera from me. I never got it back.

I’ve been doing photography basically since I could speak. And I’ve been painting for just as long, too. No idea where I get it from, since neither of my folks have an inkling of artistic intelligence. My mama is a librarian, and my daddy works in a steel mill. He doesn’t actually work with the steel anymore, mind. He’s a foreman. Thankfully, his hearing didn’t start to fade until he was in his thirties. That’s when mama and daddy met. I was never supposed to be born. When daddy found out that he had the same disease that I was born with, both my folks decided that they weren’t to have children.

It seems silly to me, considering raising a deaf child doesn’t seem scary to me at all, but then I was born this way. Cochlear implants won’t work for me. It’s the nerves inside my brain that send impulses signaling sounds that don’t work. There’s no family history of it, but somehow, daddy and I both got it. My folks sent me to a special school when I was little, where I learned how to speak properly and how to lip read. Most of the time you can’t tell that I’m deaf, except for the slight twinge in my voice when I pronounce certain words and make certain letter sounds, and while I do know sign language, I don’t often use it.

I’m so good at lip reading, I don’t even need to use closed captioning on my television, unless it’s for subtitles, or unless I’m so exhausted, I don’t care to look that closely. I’m not much for television, anyway. Most of the time, I’m scouting out more places to take photographs, or I’m doing another oil painting, or I’m making an oil painting out of a photograph.

Mama and daddy helped me raise the money to open the store. Buddy gave me such a fantastic deal on rent, I couldn’t let that go. It turns out that my store brings him more business, so he feels like I’ve done him a favor. Despite the closeness there is between my folks and I, I bought my own place. It’s a small cottage, and I bought it about five years ago. It’s only a ten minute drive from their house, which works, since, while my folks are still very independent, we do miss each other a lot. But having my own place offers me so much more, in terms of thinking space. Sometimes I’ll get a stroke of creative energy in the middle of the night, and I hate it when I wake up my folks.

Half of my inventory is photographs taken at night or during the first few minutes of sunrise. It’s all about timing. Scouting out an area during all seasons, all times of day, and in all weather. Once, I travelled with storm chasers, and took invaluable and very unique shots of lightning strikes, twisters, funnel clouds, the works. It’s also amazing to see the photographs of the after effect of a storm. Beauty is everywhere. We just have to have the eye to find it.

There’s also a small bachelor apartment upstairs in the store. Buddy always told me that if I ever wanted to rent it out for spare money, to feel free to do so. It’s a back up plan that I couldn’t pass up. While I don’t have a tenant at the moment, if the economy ever dries up around here, I have options. But he is the sweetest man on earth besides my daddy. In a lot of ways, he is like a second father to me. He even installed a special red light at the front of the store, instead of installing a doorbell at the store, since that’s useless to me.

I’ve actually been thinking about hiring somebody to help me part-time, because, believe it or not, I’ve noticed that Sunday mornings are getting incredibly busy around here, especially during the summer months, when the town holds various shows and displays in the town square. Even people from out of state come to visit then, and with the shoestring budget advertising campaigns I have running, it brings enough traffic to this place to warrant some help at times.

I’m just hanging my new photograph on the wall, when I see the red light flashing on the counter. As I turn around, my heart jumps out of my chest. Along with Buddy, is the man that I saw last night, who chased me away into the woods. But Buddy sees the feared expression on my face and lifts a hand. “You’re not in any trouble, Lennie. Take it easy.”

I swallow, and blink rapidly, matching my beating heart.

“This is Levi Paxton. He works for Billy Barnes on the ranch. You’re not in trouble for being there last night.” Buddy explains, as this stranger sticks his hand out for me to shake.

“Pleased to meet you, ma’am. I didn’t mean to startle you last night. I didn’t know, well,” He trails off.

“He thought you were ignoring him.” Buddy volunteers.

“Sorry about that.” I shake his hand.

“Not a problem.”

“I was afraid that you would confiscate my camera. That’s why I ran.” I explain, and I watch his expression change. He notices the nuance in my voice because I’m deaf. His eyes are moving from my eyes to my lips, as his brain picks up on the accent. The deaf accent, as I call it.

“Oh, I’d never do that.”

“So, Levi. Like the clothing company.” I confirm cheekily.

He smiles. It’s kind of cute. “Yes, ma’am. Fine clothing. I wear the jeans myself. Never had to label my things in elementary school.”

“I suppose you wouldn’t.” My eyes go to the new picture that I just placed on the wall. “If you’d like to know that my time on your ranch was put to good use, come and see the result.”

Both Levi and Buddy follow me over to the frame on the wall. Buddy looks at it and smiles. “That is some talent you’ve got there, Lennie. There is nothing of yours that I’ve seen that isn’t beautiful and that’s the truth.”

“You’re a flatterer, Buddy. But I’ll take it.” I look at Levi. Normally, when some people look at my work, if they don’t necessarily have an eye for fine art or photography, they usually just pay me some lip service. Which is fine. But I know the difference. When someone looks at my work, with more than just a passing glance, I know that they’re impressed. Levi is all but examining it. It’s almost like he’s a teacher, called over to inspect his student’s efforts.

“I confess, I could see from behind you. I could see the screen where you were taking the shot from. It looked magnificent from back there, but this, this takes my breath away. How much do you want for it?”

“Well, gosh, I couldn’t charge you for that. seeing as it was taken right on your ranch.”

“That’s nonsense. And it’s not my ranch, it’s Billy’s. And I love that photograph. I’m not sure where I’ll hang it at the moment, but I know that I want it. How much can I give you for it?” He repeats.

I stammer and stumble on my words, having difficulty figuring out the right ones to use. Normally, with a custom frame and matting like that, I’d sell that picture for no less than fifteen hundred dollars. It’s an original, and it will not be duplicated, making it a unique piece of work, And with my original autograph on it, there’s no question that it’s worth that much. But I can’t bring myself to charge him anything for it. For all intents and purposes, he’s my landlord’s friend. And I owe a lot to Buddy, so I would never charge his friends a thing for my work, not that they’d ever come around here asking for it.

“You said you work on Billy Barnes’s Ranch, right?”

He nods once. “ That’s right.”

“How about a trade? You give me some riding lessons and I’ll give you the picture for free.”

“From the looks of that, I could give you a year’s worth of free lessons.”

“You can have free reign of the entire property for a lifetime.” Buddy volunteers only half jokingly.

“I can’t take it for free, ma’am. It wouldn’t feel right. I’d feel like I was taking advantage. But I’ll give you free lessons all you want, anyway, because you’re a friend of Buddy’s. And the way that this town works, is one mouth spreads news everywhere, both good and bad. I wouldn’t want anyone to think that you give away your hard work for free. Not that I would tell anyone, mind, but you get what I’m saying.”

“I can’t take your money, Levi. If you were anyone else’s friend, I would. But Buddy has given me so much grace, and the fact that you didn’t give me any trouble for trespassing on Billy‘s ranch, I owe it to you to give you this photograph.”

Buddy looks entertained. He looks like he’s watching a ping-pong match. The way that we’re bantering back-and-forth, he’s trying to stifle a chuckle. “The problem here is that both of you are too nice. It’s something to see for a change. Hell, in my store, people bicker back-and-forth, lowballing the asking price, but I don’t budge a smidgen see, because I’m running a business, and I know that people come from far and wide to see our store. Now, I don’t mean to interfere, but why don’t you to come up with some kind of a compromise? Lennie, you knock down the asking price fifty percent for Levi here, and he can still give you them riding lessons. That way, if word gets around, which it won’t, seeing is it’s just the three of us here. But it’ll keep the story honest.”

“I’m not sure if you have that kind of money, Levi. A photograph like this is worth a lot of money. And I know that a rancher’s salary is not much.”

With a keen eye, Levi notices the pink sticker on the photo frame, and he sees the price list posted behind the counter. He realizes that the photograph is worth two thousand dollars. “You put that picture on hold for me, Lennie. I’ll be back with the cash.”

I don’t have the heart to tell him that we take cards, too. “If that’s what will make you happy.”

“It’s settled then.“ Buddy is pleased. “Best for me to head on back to the store. Need anything, Lennie, you know where to find me.”

“Thank you, Buddy. I appreciate it.“

He winks at me as he and Levi leave the store. Glancing at the picture on the wall, I have mixed feelings. Because of the way that Levi looked at that picture, I know that he really likes it. He wasn’t just trying to impress his friend. Besides, I have no idea how close Buddy and Levi are. There is no question that that photograph is perfection. It almost feels like I took advantage of nature in stealing that shot from it. The beauty was merely captured by my lens, but the maker is the true artist. The filter and finishing touches I placed on the photograph are my own, but they merely brought out some of the beauty of the image.

I pull it off the wall and start packaging it up, taking special care to wrap it up in several wads of tissue paper. Just as I turn my back to grab a large specialty box for it, a client walks in the front door. It’s a female, late fifties if I had to guess, and she doesn’t look like she’s from around here, based on the fact that she’s dressed like she belongs somewhere in New York, with a tailored pants suit. A local woman would be in the same tailored pants suit, however, she would have a matching hat. Especially in that age group.

I’ve made it a habit just to welcome newcomers, but I never hover. This isn’t a perfume store. This is a place where people come to spend money, where nothing here is less than five hundred dollars. It seems almost ironic, how my customers come in for investment items for their home or office here, yet next-door, they barter and negotiate over items that cost of little as one hundred dollars. Don’t get me wrong, he only sells the highest quality antiques. You won’t find a trinket in his store that belongs in a garage sale. The man has an eye for pieces. He travels all over the states and beyond, finding pieces that he can perfect and resell.

But he recently hired an antique scout as well. And with my thriving business next-door, with items at high ticketed prices, he also offers pawn services, where people can bring their precious antiques to sell, in hopes that they will come to my store and buy with the money that they just pocketed. It’s a fantastic system that has been working well for several years now. And as I watch this customer peruse one of my five thousand dollar items, I smile.

“Were you looking for something in particular?“ I ask the woman who definitely has a fine eye for art. With her progressive lenses, I can tell that she’s looking at my autograph on the bottom, right hand corner, and the edition number. “That’s one of a kind, as you can see. I snapped up that photograph in Oklahoma City last year during a storm.” Of course, anyone with a good eye for art would know by the edition number that the photograph is the only one of its kind. But I do like to emphasize that I am the artist here, and I only have one part-time staff to cover during peak times. I believe strongly that that is one of the reasons why my inventory sells so well, because I give it that personal touch in being here.

“You are the photographer?“ She sticks out her hand for me to shake. “Clever. Very clever.“

I’m not sure what exactly she thinks is clever. Whether it’s me being here selling my own inventory, or the picture itself, where one can see a lightning strike, as it licks the top of a tree in twilight. You can see in the bark where the lightning strike is separating it. Had I waited a millisecond longer to snap the shot, I would’ve lost it. If you look closely, you can see a tiny plume of smoke at the center, where tiny shards of bark are being instantaneously burned by the lightning bolt.

I just smile, not saying anything. It’s important to only volunteer the first sentence. If the customer is truly interested in the piece, they’ll ask questions of their own volition. This is not a business where sales pitches are fruitful. None of these pieces are needs. These are all items that a person wants, but don’t require.

“My grandson is turning twenty this weekend. He’s obsessed with the weather. He would be crazy enough to go storm chasing, I’m sure.”

“That’s how I got that shot, as a matter of fact.”

“I wondered.” Her eyes search my face. “Are you hearing impaired?”

“Yes, I am. But I can read lips just fine.”

“My daughter-in-law is completely deaf. Do you know sign language?”

“I do, but I don’t use it often. Does she?”

“She does the close captioning for our local television network.”

I’m impressed. “Then she uses it daily. That’s a noble career choice.”

She gestures to the tree picture. “I can see you’ve chosen a noble career as well. Tell me, what inspires you to take photographs of such mundane things, yet make them appear so surreal?”

“I believe that there’s beauty in everything. Even in a piece of garbage, if you look at something with that eye. Angles, lighting, mood, movements, all those things play a part in objects.”

“Do you use any special effects?”

“Only to add special touches like this one, where the back fades out into an oval shape.” I explain, showing her a photograph steps away. “Or this, where I add a small fairy to the hand of this child to give it a touch of whimsy.” I illustrate, showing her the hand-sketched fairy in color, against a black and white photograph of a child, which just so happens to be my neighbor’s daughter. “I added a little pink to her cheeks to tie it in with the fairy’s coloring, but that’s all the effects I use. This child is a real live person that lives next door to me.”

The woman is intrigued. She smiles. “Really. That’s adorable.”

“She is. I couldn’t help myself. And her mother is just as beautiful.”

She steps back to the lightning bolt picture. “I think I’ll take this one. It’s high time I impressed my grandson, since all he’s been into since he turned thirteen is video games and watching storm videos.”

“Is he going to be a meteorologist?”

“Lord knows. Maybe. That’s the only thing he ever seems to talk about when it isn’t the latest electronic device.”

“Would you like the photograph in a special gift box?”

“Sure, honey. That would be great.”

“Are you able to fit it in your car, or would you like me to arrange to have it shipped?”

“No, that’s fine. It should fit.”

I package it up nicely, grateful that I’ve already got all the materials out, and I cash her out, just as Levi returns. He tips his hat kindly at her, and gives her a hand with the package to her car, which is parked just outside. My heart sort of melts. There are plenty of gentlemen out here, but nothing like that. She’s not even an elderly woman. “That was awfully kind of you. Thank you.”

“No problem. I didn’t want to see her trip and fall and lose your first sale of the day.”

I smile. “So, if you have a change of heart about buying that photograph, there are no hard feelings, Levi.”

He pulls a wad of cash out of his pocket. “I wouldn’t think of it. I told you I wanted that picture and I do.”

As he hands me the cash, I look at him. “Where are you going to hang it? I’m always curious about that.”

He tilts his head slightly. “That’s a great question. I’m sort of hanging my hat in several places right now.”

I don’t want to pry, so I just smile, as I walk to the cash drawer and ring up the sale. As I count the money, I notice that he’s given me way too much. “Levi, there’s two thousand dollars here.”

He purses his lips together. “That’ll be our secret.”

“But that’s not what we agreed on.”

“No, that’s what you and Buddy agreed on, but not me. And I’m not arguing about it any longer if it’s all the same to you.”

His voice is sweet but tight, like if this were any other circumstance and we knew each other better, he would put up a fight, but instead, he’s just setting me straight. “I was sort of looking forward to riding lessons.”

“Y’all can do that, too. I’m not squelching here.”

As I place the bills into the till, I look up at him. “You come into some money? It’s none of my business, but I just wondered how a rancher has that sort of cash just laying around like that.”

He frowns. “You’re right. That’s none of your business. That’s like me asking you how y’all can afford to keep this here store. Although I’m getting the picture, literally, seeing as you just made more than two months of my salary in one morning.”

The receipt is printed and I hand it to him. “I can go weeks without making a sale. And some days are just like today. It’s all about balance. So long as I keep fresh inventory, things keep moving.”

He changes the subject. “You bringing some work to that annual Hoedown next weekend?”

“I am.”

“I’ll be there with Digger, one of our horses, offering free rides to kids for Billy. Piper says it’s a great way to bring more business to the ranch and the new resort.”

My response comes with hesitation. “Billy got himself a girl?”

He gives me a strange look. “Why do you ask?”

“Send her on to me. I’ll give her a deal on some artwork for that resort. I can even do some custom things for her with the horses if she wants.”

“I tell you what.” He leans an elbow on the counter. “I’ll hang this here picture at the resort for now. Since it was taken on the property and all.”

“You’re living at the ranch?”

“Darlin’, like I said, I’m hanging my hat in several places right now. But that’s a long story.”

Something behind his eyes tells me that he’s not a man of many words, and those words count. He’s full of mystery and intrigue. A man with no fixed address, a Stetson that looks like he’s had it for as long as he’s had his driver’s license, tattered jeans, boots that look like they’ve been mended by an untrained pair of hands, and yet he walked in here with two thousand dollars cash to buy a photo that he surely doesn’t need.

“You come on over to the ranch later and I’ll give you your first riding lesson.” He hesitates. “Before seven o’clock if you can manage.”

It comes out before I can stop it. “Got a hot date tonight?”

He looks agitated. “More like an early morning tomorrow.”

“My apologies.” I say evenly.

He’s about to turn towards the door. “Hey, don’t forget your picture.”

He’s suddenly distracted, like he’s a million miles away. I notice the way he glances at the photo of a pregnant woman with angels in the background. “Thanks.” He says, walking towards the door.

I stand there, staring at the photo I took and then altered so her face isn’t obvious, almost blurred. Then I look over to Levi, as he loads the picture carefully into the back of the cab. The way he looks back at me is almost haunting. It’s an image I can’t get out of my mind for the rest of the day.

Chapter 5

All the ranch hands and Billy and Nash are standing around, looking like they’re planning out a strategy or something. They don’t even notice me until after I’ve unloaded Billy’s things and I’m bringing the huge ass box out from the back of the cab of my truck. It’s a specialty box with the store’s logo in a fancy cursive font across the front and back. “A gift for your beloved?” Nash tries.

“No. For the resort.” I go for casual, like I make two thousand dollar purchases regularly.

That gets Billy’s attention right quick. “For the resort? What is that, a picture?”

I’m facetious. “No, it’s a wheelbarrow.”

Billy and Nash follow me to my room, where I open the box and set the gorgeous work of art down on the bed. “Jesus Christ, that just takes my breath away, that does.” I murmur to myself.

“Since when are you into shit like that?” Nash comments.

“Normally I’m not. But this is extraordinary.”

Billy is studying it. “Where did you get it?”

“In that photography store in town.”

“The one next to Buddy’s store?” Nash checks.

I clear my throat. “That’s the one.”

“What made you stop there?” Billy asks. “I sent you to the hardware store. That’s way on the other side.”

I frown. “I saw Buddy at the marina last night. He told me to stop by and check the place out, so I did. I do not regret it.”

The receipt is tucked in the corner of the frame, and it falls off, as it uncurls. Nash is too quick and he grabs it before I do. He looks at me with bulging eyes. “Jesus Christ, Levi. When the fuck did you come up with this kind of money? What, did you rob the bank while you were out running errands?”

Snatching the receipt out of his hand, I feel my jaws clench. “Just like you, I’ve got money tucked away, Nash. Remember that I’m in school, and I paid for that all on my own.”

“Which is exactly why you shouldn’t have two grand in cold hard cash just sitting in the bank. What’s going on with you?”

“Not that it’s any of your business, but I do happen to have money, and what I do with it is up to me.”

Billy interjects gently. “It’s none of my business, either Levi. But why on earth would you spend that kind of money on a picture?”

“Well, isn’t it beautiful?”

“Sure, it is. But that’s a king’s ransom for a kid that’s paying his own way for schooling.” Billy points out. “Surely you can find many other things to pay for with that. I mean, you’re going to be an architect, and I’m sure that you’ve got all kinds of schooling left to pay for.”

I look at them like they’ve both just grown a second head. “For your information, I happen to have enough money saved up to buy a fucking house if I wanted to. I haven’t spent a dime, other than to pay for daddy’s expenses, since I started working.” I point at my brother. “And you know as well as I do that we’ve both been working since we could fucking crawl on account of mama and daddy being so goddamn irresponsible. I figured it was high time that I spent money on something I wanted to and goddammit, I wanted to buy that picture.”

Nash stands there, looking at the picture blankly. “Wait a minute. That’s the store where that pretty blonde works, isn’t it.”

I look at Billy. He’s fighting a smile.

“So what if it is.” I argue meekly.

Nash turns to look at me. “I’m sure it wasn’t Buddy’s good looks and puppy dog eyes that compelled you to buy that picture of a bunch of fucking trees for two grand.”

“She didn’t give me puppy dog eyes, for your information.” I argue, but it sounds like I’m saying that it’s blue not dark blue. “I saw her actually taking that photograph in the woods here.”

“Here?” Billy’s finger points to the floor. “Like, at my ranch?”

I nod. “Yeah. I, um, found her as she was taking it. Scared the living daylights out of her. But if you look at that picture, and see how perfect it is, I don’t know, I just had to have it.”

“Well, you’re smart to keep it here.” Nash points out, but his eyes are dancing. “Because if Shelly gets wind of this, especially when y’all have a baby on the way, she’ll tear you to shreds.”

“You can say that again.” Billy teases.

“You two aren’t going to say anything, are you?”

“What, that y’all have a crush on a pretty blonde photographer, or that y’all spent two thousand dollars on a life size picture of fucking trees?” Nash can barely get out.

Billy’s chest is vibrating a little and I want to punch him. In fact, I want to punch both of them, and I’m considering taking the goddamn picture and hiding it in my room at home, before anyone else sees it. “Look, I don’t have a crush on her. I swear.”

“Sure, Levi.” Nash says unconvincingly. “Because you just go around buying art like that all the time, man.”

Billy takes it down a notch. “Levi, we’re not judging you. Hey, it is a nice picture, and if you want to, y’all can hang it in here all you like. Nobody’s going to say a word. But be careful, my boy. That girlfriend of yours has a silver tongue, and if she finds out about this, your brother’s right. She’s going to eat you for lunch. Any woman would. You think about it, okay. She’s pregnant with your child—”

Nash interjects. “Presumably.”

Billy nods. “Whether or not she’s expecting, Levi, a woman would want you to spend that sort of money on her, not on an extravagance like that. But especially when you and she are expecting a child together.”

He has a point. “Fine. But I don’t have a crush on her.”

“Whatever you say, Levi.” Nash chuckles, unconvinced. “Just make sure that Shelly doesn’t find out about it if you like your balls where they are.”

I see her walking down the hallway, carrying her laptop in her arms, and I feel ashamed. “Shelly, hey.”

“Levi, I’m late for class.” She says to me, her voice with an edge to it.

“Listen, I’m sorry about leaving the other night without saying anything.”

There’s a bank of chairs attached to tables, restaurant style, off to the side. I offer for us to sit. “Have you got like two minutes to talk?”

“Fine. My professor is always two minutes late, anyway. It’s not like I’ll be missed.”

Sliding a swivel chair around to face her, I gesture for her to sit. “I’m sorry. I was just a little bit caught off guard when you announced the news in front of my brother and his fiancé.” I add, not taking the slight bite out of my tone. It was completely unfair that she did that, and I’m not giving her leeway on that.

“Well, it just came out, Levi. It’s the hormones.”

“I get that now. But I had to do some damage control, and now I’m practically the laughingstock. My brother and Billy don’t even believe that you’re pregnant.”

I watch her face for a reaction. Part of me wants desperately to believe that she’s lying about the pregnancy, but the other half is fighting with that half, since that would mean that my first girlfriend is one foot out the door. She stares at her fingertips, not at me. “Levi, this isn’t easy for me, either. I mean, I never expected this to happen. I’m in school and having a baby is the last thing I want to do.”

“So, don’t do it, Shelly. We don’t have to have this kid if it means fucking up both of our lives.”

She sits there in silence.

I hear someone shout at me from above the mezzanine area. “Hey, Levi!” I look around and I can’t see anyone, so I stand up, and that’s when I see, in the area above our heads, a buddy of mine from my architecture class. “I tried calling you, man!” Dave shouts.

I pull my phone out of my pocket, and the goddamn receipt from the picture floats to the floor, but it lands closer to Shelly, and she picks it up. “Shit.” I mutter to myself as she looks at it. I’m half pissed off that she doesn’t just give it back to me, instead of taking a look first. I shout back up at Dave. “My phone’s dead. I’ll see you in class.”

He nods and I look at Shelly, taking the receipt back from her. “I bought it for the ranch.”

“Using Billy’s money?” She asks, lifting a brow.

“Well, no.” I confess. “I bought it for myself, but it’s staying at the ranch.”

She blinks but says nothing. Her face is unreadable.

I level with her. “Shelly, you’ve got nothing to worry about, as far as money is concerned, okay. If we decide to have this baby, we will manage.”

“Fine.” She says, rising. “I really need to get to class, and so do you.”

“Yeah. I’ll see you later.”

I go to give her a kiss, but she walks away before I can. I still don’t know how to read her. There is so much about her that I don’t know and that she keeps secret. But instead of sitting here, being completely oblivious, I decide to follow her to class, from steps behind. At least I could know what program my girlfriend is taking for chrissake. To be fair, I’ve never asked her, but I’ve never seen a textbook on her, so it’s hard to tell. A lot of textbooks are electronic, like in my program. It’s not as transparent as one would think. And the only classes she’s ever referenced have been general education ones, which we all take, so instead of guessing, I follow her.

And I feel like an idiot about three minutes later, when she heads towards the business wing, and I realize that all this time she’s just taking a business administration program. Asking her would not have been a big deal, but we haven’t spoken much about school, and that which we have spoken about has been more to do with the people here. Class is great and I make up my mind to finally buy a drafting table for the ranch. But I’ve got to ask Billy and Piper first. I’d rather not have something that high in value at home so my dad can trash it. As I drive back into town and out of Dallas, I find myself driving down to the antique store again, and sure enough, Lennie is still inside.

It’s late and the closed sign is up, but I see her in the back, working on something, so I tap the glass door stupidly, forgetting that she’s deaf. The only way that she’s going to know that I’m here is if the door opens and signals that red light to flash at the front desk. But then I remember Buddy is next door. He sees me a moment later, after I tap on the glass on his side, and he lets me in. “Levi, nice to see you. Twice in one week, eh. That’s a record.”

“Sure is. I was just coming back from class and I wanted to stop in to say hello.”

He lifts a brow. “To me or to Lennie?”

“Both of you.” I half lie.

“What’s on your mind, Levi? Y’all want more of that there coffee?”

I lift a hand. “No, I’m good. Shoot, as it is, I’ll be up for hours.”

“Heard your daddy’s up for bail.”

“Yeah? I hadn’t heard. I suppose Nash knows, but he probably didn’t want to talk to me until after I was home from school.”

“I’ll let him tell you the rest, but, as far as I know that judge granted him bail today.”

“Go on and tell me what you know, Buddy. I don’t mind, and I’m sure that Nash won’t mind you saving his breath on the subject.”

We walk to the back of the store, where there is a computer, a filing cabinet, desk, and several boxes with various labels on them. Buddy grabs a box cutter from the desk and breaks the seal on one of the boxes. “Word is that your brother’s girl got him off easy. That she dropped the charges.”

“Then why does he need to be let out on bail?”

“I heard it was a condition of Braylynn’s to play it up, even though the charges were dropped. Give your daddy a few turds in his shorts if you know what I mean.” He chuckles nervously. “Of course, if that were me, I’d a made him think she died. A man like that needs more than just a little scare. I’m hoping that after this, Brady down at the bar won’t let him inside the doors anymore.”

“I don’t think that’ll matter, Buddy. Daddy’ll just find somewhere else to drink is all.”

“Not in this town, he won’t. And I think Braylynn also made the sheriff pull his license, even though he wasn’t drinking and driving.”

“That’s smart. He’s lucky he’s never killed anyone yet, but he came close.”

“Anyway, once he’s done in rehab, he’ll be coming home. Are y’all ready for that?”

“I don’t need to be. I’m never there.” I explain carefully but firmly. “If I’m not at the ranch, I’m at Shelly’s.”

“Shelly? Who’s that?”

“My girlfriend. She doesn’t live here. And I’ll thank you for keeping that to yourself.”

“Which part? About how you’ve got yourself a girl, or that she doesn’t live here?”

“Both, if it’s all the same to you.”

He nods once for emphasis. “Fine by me. So, what can I do for you tonight, Levi?”

“Nothing much.”

“Just looking for some company, are you.”

“Sort of.”

He studies my face for a moment. “Y’all want me to give Lennie a heads up that you came to pay her a visit?”

“Sure. If it’s not too much trouble.”

He winks. “Not at all. I’ll take you on over.”

I follow him to the door, and he unlocks the door to the other side, setting off the red light, prompting Lennie to lift her head from the computer that she’s working on in the back. “Hi, Lennie. Levi here wanted to pay you a visit.”

Lennie looks even more luminous than she did yesterday. Her blonde hair is all blown out, caught up only on one side with a small clip. The woman doesn’t wear a stitch of makeup, but her lips are pink as punch. “Levi. Is there a problem with the picture?” She asks, concern washed on her face.

I lift a hand. “No, not at all. Nothing like that.” I make up something quick. “I, um, I just wanted to find out when y’all wanted to come by for them riding lessons. And I don’t have your number.”

“Oh.” She smiles. “The address and number are stamped on the receipt, Levi, and it’s also on the box. You didn’t have to make a trip all the way here for that.”

“It’s okay. I was just in the area, anyway.”

Buddy interjects, clearing his throat. “I’ve got to get back and finish up for the day. Levi, you call me if you need anything, and I’ll keep mum on all that talk about your daddy, too.”

“Thanks, Buddy. I appreciate it.” I nod and shake his proffered hand.

Once he leaves, I turn to Lennie. “Sorry if I’m intruding. I won’t take up much of your time.”

“That’s okay. I was just finishing up for the day. I don’t have much worry about inventory changes for today, I was just working on my next project. I’m going out late tonight, anyway. It’s a full moon tonight.”

I’m impressed. “Yeah? So, you want to get a good shot of the moon?”

“Not exactly. There’s a small brook I want to get a shot of, while the moon is reflecting on it. I found it after the last full moon and I wanted to grab the opportunity, especially since it’s a clear night tonight.”

“Sounds interesting.”

“Do you want to come along?” She lifts her brows, and her face doesn’t say that she feels obligated to ask me.

“Sure.” I frown. “When do you want to leave?”

“Any time. I just need about five minutes to finish with this photograph.” She gestures with her chin to the laptop computer sitting on the antique desk.

“Let me guess. Buddy?” I tip my head over towards the oak piece of furniture.

“Of course. I found this desk and I couldn’t resist. It’s beautiful.”

The way she says the word makes it even more appealing. I want to say, ‘just like you’, but I stop myself. What the hell is wrong with me? I’m not going to be one of those dudes that knocks up every goddamn girl in the state. I’m with Shelly and that’s that. I shouldn’t even be over here with Lennie, but I just couldn’t help myself. Something about her just makes me want to be around her. The air is lighter in her presence. I feel different when I’m around her. I know that sounds ridiculous, since I just met her yesterday, but I feel like being around her gives me good karma, good vibes, and I just feel better now that I’m here. Even all that talk about my daddy didn’t upset me, because I knew that I was going to see Lennie right after that.

“Can I give you a hand with anything?”

“Um,” She looks around. “Do you want to take my car or your truck?”

“We can take my truck if you want. I’ve got a few chairs in the back if y’all want to sit down while we wait for the moon to make its full appearance.”

“Are you sure?” She checks innocently.

“Absolutely. Do you want me to take your camera equipment out to the truck?”

“As long as you think it’ll be safe out there.”

“I’ll keep watch. I promise.” She’s very guarded about her things and I don’t blame her one bit.

Ten minutes later, we’re in my truck. My stomach flutters with excitement. “Tell me where y’all want to go.”

“Promise you won’t get mad?” She says, looking at me with this child-like expression that makes my heart melt.

“I promise. Is it at the ranch?”

She smiles. “It is. That little brook that lines the grass by the pasture.”

“Oh, yeah, I know the one.”

“Perfect. Now, I’m not sure if the shot is going to look too much like a postcard, but it’s worth a try.”

“I’m sure that anything you put a spin on will be beautiful.” I thumb towards myself. “I’ve seen your work. I’ve bought your work. I own your work.”

She chuckles. “Yes. Thanks to you and that lovely woman that was looking for a twentieth birthday present for her grandson, I made more money yesterday than I have all month.”

“I’m glad to have helped with that.”

“Did you decide where you’re going to hang the picture?”

I think about my daddy, and the fact that he’s going to be home from rehab in a couple of months. He’d stop at nothing to break that photo. “I’m hanging it at the ranch.”

“Good. I’m glad.”

We drive to the ranch and I’m careful to pull up close to the resort house, so that nobody sees us from the back. It’s also a shorter walk to the pasture. “Do you want to ride a horse or walk there?”

Her face lights up. “Are you serious? We can ride there?”

I smile at her. “Well, I do work here, Lennie. And I ride the horses all the time, darlin’.”

“But can we do it with the camera equipment?”

I nod. “I can use the saddle with compartments.” We get out of the truck, and I grab the equipment out of the back for her. We see Liz and Wyatt walk out of the barn, and I want to shout out hello to them both, seeing as I haven’t seen them since they got married, but the way that they’re walking says that something intimate is going on, and it stops us. “Um, just hang back here for a second, Lennie.” I whisper, knowing that my volume level won’t make a difference to her, since she’s reading my lips, anyway. It gives me shivers the way that she pays special attention to my mouth when I’m talking. It’s almost sexual, but not quite. It’s like I’m all that matters when I’m talking.

Lennie turns around and watches them for a moment. Liz says something to Wyatt and Lennie turns around, biting her lip. “I think we should give them some privacy.”

“Why? What’s up?” I’m about to ask her if she heard something, and then I stop myself.

“She just told him that she thinks she might be pregnant.”

Chapter 6

Yes, it’s a little bit of a gift that some people enjoy, but it isn’t always easy knowing what banter goes on between people, when you’re not supposed to know. The look on Levi’s face says it all. “Oh, shit.”

“Are you not happy for them?”

“Um, no, it’s not that.” He stammers. “I just, it’s nothing. Let’s get out of here before they figure out that we’ve been eavesdropping.”

“Okay.” I nod, feeling so badly for him. He leads me to the stable quietly, without disturbing Wyatt and Liz, and he saddles the horse with ease. “Is this a boy or a girl?” I ask, trying to break the awkwardness.

“Oh, my apologies. This is Digger. He’s a good boy. And that’s Mazy, and Sprout is her son.”

“Aw, they’re mother and son? How sweet.”

He smiles but his eyes don’t crinkle at the sides. I watch him place a saddle on Digger and carefully tuck my camera equipment into the small pockets at the sides of the saddle. Levi then pulls a wooden block over to the horse’s side and takes my hand, helping me up onto the horse. The saddle is a two-seater, but he hesitates before he climbs up. “It’s going to be impossible for you to read my lips while I’m up here, so if anything is wrong, just tug at the back of my shirt, okay?”

“Okay.”

He climbs up onto the horse like he was born doing that, and the horse starts moving at a slow walk, until he’s outside of the stable, and then we take off into a slow trot. I’ve never been on a horse before, and it feels strangely liberating. It’s dark out, but the moonlight is bright, illuminating the whole space, so it’s like a natural flashlight shining a light all over the grass, the wooded area, even the pasture. The temperature is perfect tonight and there is just a slight breeze. As the land passes by us and we arrive close to where the tiny waterway is, the horizon opens up, and my smile is from ear to ear. It’s perfect. Even a half blind person would see that.

Levi stops the horse gently and gets off, holding his hand out to help me off, and I climb down, briefly ending up in his arms. His gaze holds mine for a moment, and I smile softly at him. “Thank you for bringing me here.”

“It’s my pleasure. Now, show me your magic.”

I love it that he’s genuinely interested in this. He may even have a little crush on me, but I can’t be sure. A beautiful man like this has to be spoken for. There’s no two ways about it. Levi is kind, gentle, very sweet, and so handsome I see his face in my dreams. His crisp blue eyes, the honesty in them, those soft-looking, full lips. I’m glad I have a reason to be looking at them often, otherwise I’d be staring. “It’s going to take a few minutes to set up. And I think that the sky needs to be a little darker, but we can work with it.”

“Anything I can do to help?” He asks as he ties the reins over a strong tree branch.

“No. But do you mind telling me something, Levi?”

“Sure.” He says, pulling the camera equipment and a blanket out from the side pockets of the saddle.

“How come you reacted so strangely when I told you about Liz saying that she thinks she might be pregnant? Are you not happy about that? Or is that not good news? Because it looked to me like she was a little nervous about it, but not unhappy.”

He sets the blanket out and sits down, cross-legged, while I lift my tripod into position. “Well, I probably shouldn’t be telling you this, Lennie, but since I don’t know you that well, maybe you can help me out with it. So long as you can keep a secret.”

“As long as you feel comfortable telling me, sure, I can keep a secret. Being able to read lips has made me have to keep a lot of things to myself, as a matter of fact.”

“I don’t doubt that.” He snuffles nervously. I watch him lick his lips before speaking. “See, I’ve got myself into some trouble. It’s the worst kind, too, and I don’t know what to do about it.”

I’m adhering the camera to the tripod, almost by rote, so paying attention to Levi isn’t that much of a challenge. “I’m listening.” Then I smile. “Okay, I’m watching.” I admit.

He smiles back. He’s got such a beautiful smile. When he smiles, if it’s a good one, his eyes light up, too. Then it falls. He swallows. And I stop doing what I’m doing, so he has my full attention. “My girlfriend is pregnant.”

My face goes blank. “Oh.”

He gives me a moment to digest before continuing.

“It’s not that I don’t want it, but we don’t know each other that well, see.”

“Is she the one for you, Levi?” I ask honestly, feeling his hurt, because of his expression.

“I don’t know yet. That’s the thing. I’ve never been in love before, and I don’t know if I feel it for her or not.”

I sit down next to him. “Not that I know anything about being in love, either, but from what my mama and daddy have told me, and all the romances I’ve watched on television, if you have to second guess it, it’s not love.”

“That’s my guess, too, actually. But, is it wrong to have a baby with someone you don’t love?”

My gaze goes to my hands. “Levi, please don’t judge me for saying this, but I have to be honest with you.” I lift my gaze to his and touch his hand. “I was raised with strict morals, tight rules, but lots and lots of love. That being said, my folks raised me to be with someone you love, so to me, the whole act of making love with someone that you don’t love, well, that’s wrong. For me, though, not for you. All I know is that if you raise the child out of love, even if it’s not necessarily love for the mother, it’s still okay. Love is important.”

“What about obligation?”

My hand is still on his. “If you love your child, then it isn’t an obligation, Levi.”

“What if she wants to raise it on her own and I never get to see it?”

“That’s something that y’all have to arrange with her first. If you need to, get a lawyer.”

He nods and uses his other hand to squeeze mine. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” I smile at him and take my hand back. “What does your family say about all this?”

He sighs. “Well, I tell my daddy as little as possible. Hell, he doesn’t even know that I’m in school, and he sure as hell doesn’t know about Shelly.”

“Oh.” I’m surprised. “You’re not close with your daddy?”

He shakes his head and scoffs. “Sometimes I think that life would be so much better if that man were dead.”

My eyes widen. “I’m so sorry to hear that. I’ve heard a thing or two about your daddy, but I had no idea it was that bad.”

His voice turns into a sneer as he points into the air. “The only reason why that sumbitch ain’t going to prison for good is because that damn Braylynn thought she was doing my brother Nash a favor by throwing him a bone. But she’s a fool. He damn near killed her. And he’s going to end up killing someone at some point in time. No two ways about that. At least, this time, the sheriff took his license away.”

“There’s that.”

“And he’s being forced to go to rehab for two rounds, his expense. Of course, that only means mine and Nash’s expense, but at least this time it might not be a waste.”

“You just have to think positive, Levi. I know it’s hard.”

“And now you see why I can’t tell my daddy a lick about what’s going on in my life.”

“I do understand.” My hand goes on top of his again. “Can I ask, you know, what do you think prompted him to start drinking to begin with.”

He shrugs. “I don’t really know. Probably because my mama’s been fooling around on him for years, but I can’t figure out which came first, if I’m being honest.”

“Wow. What a mess. I mean, I’ve never been able to figure out what tears a family up, seeing as I’m so close with my folks.”

He shakes his head slightly. “Well, I can tell you what, Lennie. It’s because your folks already had a challenge. They were taxed with a deaf child. And they made the best of it. Some people are cut out for shit like that, and others aren’t. It’s just the way it is. My daddy has had a great job all his life, and my mama had a good thing going on with her job, until she screwed it up by screwing a dentist in Dallas, which just so happened to be a relative of her boss. A long removed relative, but word gets around.”

My hand remains on his. I keep squeezing it intermittently, and he’s not making any effort to remove it. “I believe that life is about choices. Some of us make good ones, and some of us make bad ones. But we always have a choice.”

His opposite hand goes on top of mine. “It’s also about goals, Lennie. And the choices that y’all make in order to reach those goals.”

“Exactly.”

He smiles at me. “Thanks for the talk. But you ought to get set up, or else you’re going to miss your chance for this shot.”

I notice that his eyes keep going to my lips, as if by me doing it, I’m normalizing the motions. It’s sort of cute but also kind of sexy. I’ve only ever had crushes on boys and men. I’ve never had a relationship. No man has ever been courageous enough to date a deaf girl in my circle. Even during college. But I’m not looking. Never really have. It’s okay to fantasize and picture myself with a handsome man, though. I know that in my heart of hearts that that’s all I’ll ever have. Mama once said that even if I wasn’t deaf, most men would be intimidated by what I do for a living and what I make. My earnings are nothing to sniffle over, and I’ve invested most of my money, so I stand to live very comfortably if I keep it going.

As I rise, he follows me, and I give him a short tutorial on how to set the camera equipment up properly, to get the best shot of the water. I take a few test shots of the moon, the water, the surrounding area, and I even take a few of Levi himself. We take a couple of pictures together, too. I have to be careful not to let him catch me looking at them while he’s still here, but I’ve got some great footage of him for later, should I want to tuck these little goodies away. Nothing says sexy more than a cowboy in a Stetson and a great pair of jeans. He wears them well, too. He stands behind me, glancing at the lens, as I show him how to position the viewfinder to grab the best frame, and I take it. The water shimmers under the moonlight, and I couldn’t have picked a more romantic evening and spot to do this. It’s just too bad that I’m doing this with a man that I can’t have. “Is your girlfriend going to have a problem when she finds out that you’ve been with me tonight?”

“I won’t tell her. She doesn’t need to know.”

“Are you sure that’s the right thing to do? I mean, she is carrying your baby, Levi.”

“You and I, we’re just friends, Lennie. And I don’t want to upset her if I don’t need to. Besides, she sort of gave me the cold shoulder today, so I think that maybe she’s mad at me.”

“Shouldn’t you be over there talking it out with her then?”

“There’s nothing to talk about. She had no business looking at the receipt from the picture to begin with. She should have just given it back to me when it fell on the floor. I explained to her that I bought it for the ranch and that’s that.”

“No offense, but why do you think that she’s mad at you for that? Isn’t it up to you what you spend your money on? You said so yourself that you haven’t been together long. Is it because of the baby?”

“I suppose.” He frowns. “But we’re not even at whether or not we’re even keeping the baby yet, so I’m not even sure. It could be just the hormones, too.”

“Did you say who you bought it from? Maybe she’s jealous because I’m a woman.”

“No, she doesn’t know. And she’s not from around here, so she wouldn’t even know that the studio is yours.”

Maybe buying that picture when he’s got a baby coming wasn’t the smartest thing, but he made that choice. “Levi, if you want me to refund the picture, if you think that it’s going to be a problem, just say the word.”

He lifts a hand. “No, now I bought that fair and square. I’ll deal with Shelly.”

I change the subject slightly. “Can I ask you something?” My legs crisscross in front of me as I take a second glance at the photos through the viewfinder.

“Sure.”

“Have you given any thought as to whether or not you want to keep the baby?”

He takes a moment to think about it, as I keep my eyes on him, having turned off the camera. “I’m not sure. I know that I’m not ready to become a father, especially with the fucked up version of a father I have.”

“Do you have any role models? Men you look up to?”

“Buddy’s one of them. Also, Billy, and all his brothers, plus my own. Yeah, I suppose that I do.”

“Maybe if you were in love with Shelly, that would make a difference?”

He looks at me. His eyes are like dinner plates. “Maybe. I mean, hell, Billy’s brother Cassidy and his girl Crystal are having an unplanned baby together, and they’re as pleased as punch about it. In the beginning not so much, since she was puking her guts up and just about as bitchy as a rodeo bull, but now that she’s over that spell, things are all different.”

“But they love each other, right?”

“Oh, there’s no two ways about it. They’re crazy for each other.”

“And were they in love before they found out they were having a baby?”

“One hundred percent, yes.”

I don’t know what more I can say to him. But I do know that him being with me might be a problem. “Well, Levi, I hate to say it, because I’m having such a good time with you tonight, but y’all should be with Shelly. I understand that you think she’s angry at you about the picture, but I think that you being out here with me tonight is only going to make matters worse.”

“What, I’m not allowed to have a friend?”

“In my eyes, you are. But I’m not your girlfriend.”

His gaze stays on me for a moment. Like he’s stopping himself from saying what’s on his mind. I don’t press.

“It’s no different if I was hanging out with Crystal or Jade or Piper.”

“Are any of them girls single?” I point out.

“So what if they’re not? Are you telling me that there’s a law against a man having a friendship with a woman, just because she’s single?” I’ve learned to read body language very well, and I can tell that Levi isn’t being argumentative. His eyes are still soft, he’s not raising his voice, and this angle is more like he’s just reasoning with me.

“I just wouldn’t want to be the cause of any trouble between you and Shelly is all.”

“I’ll see to it that it’s not. Okay?” He reaches over and touches my face, searching my eyes. I could melt right here.

“Okay.” I swallow, taking in the warm feel of his touch. Except for my daddy, no man has ever touched my face before. His lips look so soft and warm, too. I’ve never really wanted to kiss a man before. Not like this. I know that he can never know that I’m attracted to him. It’s easy to keep it a secret. It’s all I’ve ever known. I’d give anything to be able to just lean forward and kiss those lips of his, but I know that he’s not mine, and I can never have him. He’s having a baby, and whether or not he loves Shelly is irrelevant and none of my business. I’ll just take in all of him that I can while I can. After tonight, after my words of unselfish wisdom, he may heed my advice and keep his distance. I really wish that he wouldn’t, but it’s the right thing to do.

My phone vibrates in my pocket, interrupting the moment. Thank God for that. “Sorry, I just need to check this.” I explain, knowing that I’m only using my phone as an excuse to break the spell. I see that it’s my friend Trisha, offering to meet me at my house after she finishes work. “I should go. I have all the footage I need.”

He looks disappointed. “Sure. I’ll take you back. It’s getting pitch dark out, anyway. I bet it gets difficult for you to read lips once it’s dark out.”

“Not really. My eyes adjust.”

“So, what they say about people that have a lessened sense, that they have a heightened sense to compensate, that’s true?”

“I guess it is. My vision is incredible. Night vision, too.”

“That’s a given, considering the eye you have for what you do.”

“That’s a good point.”

He carefully places my equipment in the side pockets while I fold up the blanket, and then he helps me back on to Digger. As his hands grasp my waist, I get a tickle in my belly and in my private area, and I have to clear my throat to stifle the gasp. Levi climbs on the horse and I suddenly feel his body against mine from the front. And going to meet Trisha becomes very important. I’m absolutely dying to tell her about Levi and my latest crush. She’s been listening to my stories for years and this one is going to hurt. I allow myself a touch of the back of his shirt as we ride back to the ranch. The sky is inky black now, and the air is chillier. “Should I take you back to the store or home?”

Visions of Trisha drooling, watching me pull up in Levi’s truck, and watching him walk me to my front door, are just too good to resist. And since Buddy and I carpooled together today in his car, it’s the perfect opportunity to watch the look on Trisha’s face when I arrive home, having been in Levi’s four-wheel-drive chariot. “You can just drive me home, if it’s all the same to you.”

“Sure.”

And it’s priceless.

Chapter 7

“Was that the girl from the photography studio?” Nash asks, poking me teasingly.

Turner, one of our newer ranch hands, sticks his head out from the kitchen area in the ranch house. “The hot blonde?”

My fist balls up. “Watch it, Turner.”

It’s bad enough that Lennie’s friend Trisha was there when I brought her home. Lennie had to stifle the questions, forcing her friend back inside the house after introducing me to her. My only hope is that Trisha doesn’t have a big mouth, and that word doesn’t get around Copper Cove that me and Lennie are an item. Regardless of whether or not Shelly lives here, she’s likely coming for the town Hoedown next weekend, and she might find out.

“Yes. It looks like my little brother has a crush on her.” Nash adds to the fire.

“Who wouldn’t.” Turner says. “She’s a hot little number.”

“How the hell do you know.” I whine. “Since when do you hang out there?”

“Since word got around town that the hot little blonde is running it.”

“She’s been there for a while. Are you telling me that you’ve been chasing her for that long and did nothing about it?”

“Well, she’s got a thing, see.” Turner explains carefully.

“She’s deaf. Yeah, I know.” I bark. “What’s your point?”

Turner lifts his hands in defense, and he backs off.

Nash scratches his nose before speaking. “Hey, if you’ve got a crush on this Lennie girl, what’s going to happen when Shelly spits out that kid of yours?”

“This is beneath you, Nash.” Is all I say, as I walk away from both of them.

Piper is inside the house, in the office, sitting with Jade. Both of them do the books for Billy, but Jade also works for her mother’s business. “Levi, you hungry?” Piper asks. That seems to be the go-to line whenever she sees me. You would think that I’m a little squirt or something, not the six foot two, two-hundred-and-twenty-pound dude that I am. “No, I’m fine.” I look at Jade. “How’s Crystal doing?”

Jade and Piper exchange a look.

My voice is casual, almost apologetic. “It’s okay to talk about it.”

“You mean about Shelly’s pregnancy?” Piper checks.

As I sit on the edge of the desk, I nod.

“Crystal’s fine.” Jade answers honestly. “How far along is Shelly, anyway?”

I shrug. “I don’t know that yet.”

“She can’t be that far along. How long have you two been together?” Jade asks.

“I don’t know. I wasn’t really keeping track.”

“More than a month?” Piper tries.

“Yeah, probably. We were sort of, um, having relations before we were actually a couple.” Come to think of it, I’m not sure if we ever really had a formal start to our relationship. I just ended up at her house. She asked me to stay and I stayed.

“That’s usually the way it works, Levi. Neither of us judge you for that.” Piper clarifies.

“I’d like to meet her. Maybe we could invite her over for dinner tomorrow night or something.” Jade suggests.

“I’m not sure if that’s such a good idea. We’ve got some things that we’ve still got to work out, and she gets upset really easily.”

“I get that.” Piper says through a snuffle. “She seems to get a loose tongue, too, from what I hear.” Her smile says that it’s a good-natured poke. She doesn’t mean any harm. “I’d hate for her to say anything more incriminating under pressure.”

I wink at her. She’s right. “She’s coming to the Hoedown next weekend, anyway. Y’all can see her then.”

Both girls’ faces light up. “Oh, is she?” Piper exclaims. “That’ll be fun.”

“What exact part of that will be fun.” I say as more of a statement than as a question.

“What do you mean?” Jade asks. “I thought you loved the Annual Copper Cove Hoedowns.”

“I do, but I just, I don’t know.”

“What’s going on, Levi.” Piper says, trying to level with me, as she closes the office door. Everyone knows to keep out if that door is closed, on account of the important business that goes on in here when it is closed.

I can’t tell this to my brother, or to Billy, or to any male I know, anyway. They’ll razz me for it and make it so much fucking worse. Piper and Jade are good people. There’s a love between us that makes me feel like they’re sisters I never had. Jade pulls the extra chair up for me to sit on, and she grabs me a bottle of water from the small fridge next to the desk.

“I’m in deep shit.”

Piper sits across from me, turning the guest chair around, and she takes my hand in hers. “Nothing that we can’t help you get out of, Levi.”

“I appreciate that, but I think I’m alone this time.”

“Tell me what’s wrong, Levi.” Piper says so heavily, like she’s making room for the weight of my burden.

“I don’t love her.”

“That’s okay.” Jade confirms. “It doesn’t happen for all of us. Just the lucky ones. But you’re a good man, and you’ll do the right thing.”

“Yes, and Nash had a point, too. Y’all shouldn’t accept full responsibility for that child until you have confirmation that it’s yours.”

I don’t say anything. I’m not sure how that will be received, and frankly, it kind of scares me. It makes it real. Too real. Especially for someone that doesn’t make my heart go flip flop. Especially when there’s someone else that is starting to make my heart go flip flop.

“You really need to talk this out with Shelly.” Jade adds. “That’s the only way to keep things honest. It’s the only way to make sure that you put your best foot forward for you and for your unborn child.”

My eyes are on a spot on the floor. “That’s not it.”

“What’s not it?” Piper says, with her eyes scrunched together.

“Levi, you said that you were in some kind of trouble. What sort of trouble outside of this are you in?” Jade asks, hitting the nail on the head.

“I said I’m not in love with her.”

They both nod their understanding. I feel like a fucking heal. I feel like I should be burned at the goddamn stake. Fed to the lions. “I think, I think I’m in falling in love with someone else.”

“The girl at the photography studio?” Piper asks.

My eyes shoot to hers and then I lay my head in my hands. “Jesus Christ. Everyone fucking knows now, don’t they.”

“No.” Piper places a hand on my shoulder. “We just knew because of the picture Billy told us about. We had no idea it was true.”

I lift my head up. “What do I do? Shelly already knows about the picture. If she finds out that I’ve got feelings for the maker of it, she’s going to flip out and deny me rights to my kid.”

Jade lifts a hand. “Wait, hold on a minute. How did Shelly find out about the picture?” I explain quickly. “So, she looked at the receipt? Isn’t there some unspoken code about snooping at someone else’s receipt or someone else’s business? What right did she have to do that?”

“It’s semantics, Jade.” I huff.

“No, it’s not.” Piper argues. “That woman knows how much you spent on that picture now, Levi. Even though it’s not her business, she may put that in her toolbox, if you get my drift.”

“Yeah, we’re just looking out for you, doll.” Jade adds. “Y’all need to talk to her.”

“I don’t even know where to start. What do I say?” All I can think of are words that I would say to Lennie. I’d love to tell her that she’s beautiful and smart, and so talented it makes my head spin. It really does. It’s very selfish and immature to say this, but I’d so much rather spend time with Lennie than with Shelly. Even if there wasn’t the growing problem of a baby in the mix, either. If she wasn’t with my child, I would have dumped her by now, and that’s the truth, but I’m not telling the girls that. They’ll think that I’m exactly that. Selfish and immature. I got us into this mess, and I’m not about to skulk my way out of it, just because I’ve got eyes for someone else.

“You start by asking her what she wants to do with this child.” Piper states clearly.

“Yeah, and you also need to let her know that you may or may not want to stay with her, Levi. You lead her on while she’s pregnant and that will be the start of fresh hell for you once that baby arrives.” Jade adds.

“Exactly. And you need to let her know that you’re here for her on all fronts, baby-wise, but she needs to respect your boundaries. Like no snooping at receipts or through your wallet, because that’s what people that look at other people’s receipts do.” Piper says with a pat on my hand.

“And what do I do about Lennie? I mean, she already gave me a lecture about becoming a parent and being honest. She finds out I’ve got feelings for her and she’s going to reject me. She’ll think I’m one of those dudes that jumps from bed to bed.”

“That’s a tough one, I’m afraid.” Piper says.

“Yeah, you might want to keep that one under your hat for now, just until things are settled with Shelly.” Jade concurs.

“That won’t be hard. I told her that we’re just friends, anyway. I hate it that I lied to her, but I didn’t really know how I felt about her until now.”

“Then you didn’t lie to her.” Jade informs. “If you didn’t know then, that is. And sometimes, especially in delicate situations like this, it’s best to keep that to yourself. You don’t want to shoot yourself in the foot.”

I draw in a deep breath and let it out. “Maybe Shelly feels the same, you know. We’re not exactly close.”

“How do you mean?” Piper asks.

“Well, I stay over at her house and all, but it’s like there’s no connection between us. Like, when I’m with Lennie, I feel as light as air, and I feel like I can tell her anything. Plus, she’s got this voice. It’s so soft and honest. I could listen to her all day and night. But with Shelly, sure, in the beginning there was heat, but there was never any connection. She’s very guarded and she doesn’t like me knowing anything.”

“You find out about that ring?” Piper asks.

“She, um, she actually put it away. So, I don’t have a clue what that means.”

Jade smirks. “It means that she’s onto you.”

I feel bad that these girls can smell a rat. What if Shelly is a decent person and we’ve read her all wrong?

“Before y’all start thinking that we’re wrong, Levi, just remember that this is the woman that blurted out in a restaurant that she’s pregnant with your child. And without telling you first, I’ll add. In anyone’s books, that’s slimy.” Jade comments.

I’ve heard enough. My head is swimming. “I’ve got to go. It’s been a long day.”

“Sure has. Y’all have a good rest, Levi.” Piper pats me on the back.

I walk out of the house and over to the resort. When I walk past the guest rooms and head towards my room, I notice that there’s a package leaning on my door. It’s my drafting table. Disassembled, of course, but it’s here. The smile is unavoidable. Slipping inside my room, I pull the package into the spot where I’d been planning to put it up. Admittedly, my room is a suite, and a large one at that. Billy has been kind enough to give it to me, with the understanding that if someone needs it, that I’m to vacate immediately. This is why he wants to build a bunkhouse, for all intents and purposes. The picture is hanging on the wall, on a ledge, by the fireplace.

It’s stunning.

It reminds me of her.

It makes me picture her lying on the grass, where I found her, when she was originally taking the shot. The first time I saw her. The moment that my life changed. The moment that I started to notice something more. Something much more. As I set my drafting table up, my mind wanders to her, not to the woman who is carrying my baby. I can’t help it. And I don’t try to, either. While I’m alone, and nobody is here to judge me, I can think about her all I want. Once the table is up, I start to draft with the rudimentary skills that I’ve garnered so far. It’s basically the bones of my dream house. There is no detail yet, but it’s something. It’s not grand or ornate, but it’s unique, with a cobblestone driveway and a wraparound porch. Something my mama always wanted, but my daddy never got around to making for her. I keep drawing and drawing, not even realizing what time it is until I wake up with my face plastered to the paper.

Luckily, I only drooled on it in one spot, and it’s well away from the markings. As I lie in bed, the moment I close my eyes, it’s her face that I see. I can’t stop thinking about her. I should be ashamed of myself. I’m an expectant father with another woman, yet I have eyes for someone else. I make up my mind just to be friends with Lennie. Nothing more. As difficult as that will be, for now, it’s the only answer. Correction, it’s the only answer that won’t cause me to run my family name through the mud even further than my daddy has. I’m sure that Lennie wouldn’t appreciate being the other woman, either.

Between my brothers and the ranch hands, right now I’m a laughingstock. It’s just a matter of time before word gets around town, if it isn’t already. It’s just thank God that Shelly is in Dallas, and not Copper Cove. That extinguishes the fire somewhat, but it’s not enough. It’s my job to keep my nose clean and save Lennie’s reputation. For a moment, I can’t help but think about that ring. Shelley’s engagement ring and wedding band that sat in her bathroom the whole time, only to be removed just days ago. I can’t figure that out. There are no strange men claiming to be Shelley’s husband coming to my door, threatening my life, but I can’t be sure that that isn’t on the way.

Ever since I met Lennie, I feel it in my bones that Shelly is bad news. Whether it’s my mind just playing tricks on me, or what, I don’t know. Usually, when either Piper, Jade or Crystal talk things out with me, things are clearer. But not this time. I don’t know what that means. The only thing that I am sure of is that I don’t love Shelly. Before I met Lennie, I wasn’t sure, but now that I have met that beautiful person, it’s crystal clear. I roll over in bed, and look at my phone, which reads that it’s an ungodly hour. Sleepless nights are in my future, that’s for sure. I need to talk to Shelly. I need to know where she’s at. Does she want to keep the baby? Does she want to give it up for adoption? Does she want to give it up for good? And is she still married? These questions roll around inside my conscience like a game of Russian roulette.

That’s when I feel it. Her hand, her soft, warm hand and her nimble fingers, skating down my chest, as I stifle a gasp in the darkness. Her lips touch mine, and I devour her. Her tongue is as sweet as candy, her lips are soft as silk, and her breathing, God, her breathing. This woman is starved for me. Her blonde hair is like feathers as she trails kisses down my neck, down my chest, and then her mouth, God, her mouth, it’s like a slice of heaven. I don’t realize the intensity until my knuckles burst as I grasp the sheets tightly.

It’s like I’m possessed. It’s like she’s possessed. My dick wants more, but my brain is telling me to slow down. I don’t want this moment to end. Her moans against my cock increase the pleasure. It’s almost too much. The thought of sinking myself into her is so delicious, but I’m paralyzed. It’s like she has full control over my body and is loving every moment of it. Her hands and mouth are so expert, it’s like she’s reading my mind, knowing the perfect pace, the precise amount of suction, like we’ve practiced this a million times before.

I should be a gentleman. I should reciprocate. And I will. The only thing that seems hotter than this moment, is hearing Lennie cry out, begging me to stop or not to stop. I feel my cock touch the back of your throat, and it twitches, letting me know that this is it. Somehow, once again, this incredible woman reads my mind. She sucks, harder and faster, making it impossible to turn back, and I let go. I can feel the veins in my neck popping out as I empty myself into her mouth.

I wake up to the sound of my own voice, as I groan, soaking the sheets, soaking my hand, and I feel like I need to go and soak my head because of what just happened. If I wasn’t the laughingstock before, I certainly will be now. Especially once the maids find out about this mess. I’ll never live it down. Sure, it’s a part of life, but I’m kidding myself if I think that they’ll see it that way. Before I met Shelly, I was single. This was all I ever knew. I learned how to do laundry almost as early as I learned how to ride a horse.

I make up my mind to pick up the sheets, take them home, and clean them myself. It’s an easier lie than the truth. But, suddenly I realize, that after this, I’m going to have to make up a trail of lies to get out of the trouble that I’m in now.

Chapter 8

Ican’t decide if I like the photograph better as an oil painting, or as a portrait, like most of the others. Like the one that Levi purchased from me. It came out perfectly. The way I figured it would. The whole batch of them, that is. Secretly, I develop the ones that I took of Levi and me. In another lifetime, under different circumstances, we would make the perfect couple. His blonde, soft features, complementing mine. His large, burly body, juxtaposed behind my petite frame. But it’s not just that. It’s the way he looks when he’s in front of the lens with me. Well, maybe it’s not just with me, maybe he’s just incredibly photogenic. I’ll never know unless I see him in other photographs. So, I hop on social media, in hopes that he’s got a profile somewhere.

He does.

There are tons of pictures that he’s posted of horses and nature. Some of them are even portrait worthy. He’s listed the ranch as his place of employment, so I know that he must be on social media regularly. There aren’t any pictures of him except for one of him holding a fish in the air, one evidently that he just caught. Even digging back years, it’s just random pictures here and there of him with various horses and nature. It says a lot about him. After giving up on Facebook, I head over to Instagram. There is still nothing there but repeats of some of the photographs from Facebook. But, then I find something interesting. It seems that Levi has more than one social media account. The first one I found was just using his first and last name. But the second one I find, he’s listed himself on Facebook as ‘The Jeans Guy’, giving a nod to his name.

That’s where I find it. He’s been tagged in a photo with a girl by the name of Shelly Givens. She’s taken a selfie of the two of them, in what appears to be a backdrop of a backyard, and he’s not even looking at the camera. It’s almost like she took it without his knowledge. She does not look like his type. For starters, she’s at least a decade older than him, if I were to guess, and she looks kind of rough around the edges. She’s blonde but not a natural one, and her haircut looks homespun. The wrinkles at the edges of her eyes aren’t from smiling happily, as the shot shows her with a blank face, and a fake smile. Like she’s one of them types that puts on a show for social media. One of them annoying ones that makes like her life is so goddamn perfect.

Levi looks lost. I’m guessing that this is before she got pregnant, or before they knew, anyway. I find myself staring at the photo and wanting so badly to post the picture of us on my social media page. If I’m evil, I’d do it, and I’d tag him, too. But I won’t. Jealousy does not suit me well. My gaze goes from one screen to the next, comparing the photographs, mentally patting myself on the back, even though I know that he’s not mine. But I can pretend. That’s all I’ve ever known. That’s probably all I ever will know, and I’m okay with that. I’ve been blessed with so much more in my life, that whether or not I find someone to love for real, is irrelevant.

And just as I’m about to do something stupid, and actually post something on my private Facebook page about a new friend, my phone vibrates in my pocket. I see that it’s Trisha and she’s at the door, even though I closed hours ago. She sure knows where to find me. If I’m not home, where else would I be? I let her inside. “What are you up to?”

It’s always her first line.

“I was just working on some pictures I took earlier. It’s so late. Why aren’t you home in bed?”

She shrugs. “You know me.”

Trisha is a night owl. But it infuriates me, because she can function on like three hours of sleep, whereas I’m a zombie with less than seven. Tomorrow, I open late and stay open late, so I can get away with it. She sees the picture of me and Levi still up on the screen. Her face says it all. Eyes bright, hands on cheeks, mouth wide open. “Oh my God! Are you two dating? This is so exciting!”

“No, we’re not dating, and it’s never going to happen, either, so stop getting your hopes up.”

“What? Why?” She sits down on the guest chair and turns my laptop to face her, so that she can get a better look at the photograph of Levi standing behind me, smiling into the camera lens.

“Because he’s with someone else.”

“So? People break up.”

“And she’s pregnant.”

Her eyes widen. “With his child?”

“No, Trisha, with Elton John’s love child. What do you think.”

“Alright, alright. No need to get testy.” She mutters, dipping her head down. “So, if he’s with someone else, then why is he taking these cozy little shots with you?”

I shrug. “I don’t know. We were out taking pictures of this,” I click over to the batch of photographs I took digitally, “And I took a couple of test shots. That’s what we ended up with.”

“He is a mighty fine specimen, if I do say so myself.”

“He’s not a piece of meat, Trisha.”

“Well, of course, he’s not. But he sure makes a great cowboy.”

“He’s also studying to be an architect.”

“Ah, so he’s got a brain under that hat, does he.” She licks her lips. “I bet you he’s also got one nice package in his shorts, too. I stole a peek when I was at your place and he dropped you off.”

I snort a laugh and slap her playfully.

“Yes, you know, don’t you.” She growls. I can tell that she’s growling because when she does the veins in her neck protrude.

“Stop!” I giggle.

“Oh, man, but it’s too bad about the baby thing, though.” She shakes her head. “Unless, maybe he doesn’t want to stay with her?”

“Which is irrelevant, since he’ll still be committed to her, and she looks like she won’t take no for an answer.”

Her eyes widen. “You’ve met her?”

“No, but I did check her out on social media. Some Shelly Givens. Hard looking.”

She gestures feverishly with her hands. “Show me! Show me!”

I love this girl. She even learned sign language so that we could talk about people at events. I also taught her how to read lips, and she sometimes corrects me when I start falling out of my speech patterns, and I start to sound like a deaf person again. We went to this snooty family gathering on her side one year for Christmas, and stood in the sidelines, signing to each other how fat this person got and how stupid this one is, and so on. Trisha’s the best. Nobody suspected a thing, since all her family knows that I’m hearing impaired. They didn’t bat an eyelash.

“Oh, what a tart! Look at her!” She comments. “And he knocked her up? What does he see in her?”

“I don’t know. But she may be different than she looks. Looks can sometimes be deceiving, don’t you know.”

Trisha places a hand on mine. “You are like a million times prettier than she is. And the fact that his smile is so warm and wide in that picture with you just tells you that he’s over her.”

“I’m not competing, Trisha. How can I?” My question is rhetorical.

“Well, how do you know that he’s going to stay with her? I mean, look at that mug on him in that photograph?”

“You’re basing his happiness on the fact that he’s going to be a daddy with this woman on one picture that he likely didn’t know was being taken?”

“I know. You’re right.” By her tone she’s fishing. “I want to meet her. Let’s go stake her place out or something.”

“First, neither of us knows where she lives, and second, you can come to the Copper Cove Hoedown next weekend and see her there. At least that way there won’t be a restraining order after.”

“She’s going to be there?”

“Everyone is going to be there. And anyone that knows anyone that will be there is going, too. You know how it works.”

“I do, But she’s from Dallas.”

I shrug. “That’s what Levi said. That she’s coming.”

“Did he say whether or not he was going to share the fact that he was hanging around with you tonight? Taking cozy pictures with you?”

“We’re just friends, Trisha. And that’s all we can be. Like I said.”

She doesn’t say anything for a beat. “Man, this bites. The first good fit you’ve had with a guy and he’s not on the damn market. Why couldn’t he be stupid or ugly.”

“Because I can’t have everything, that’s why, Trish. Look, I’ve got a fantastic career, more money than I need, a supportive family, and great health. Why should I also get to have the man of my dreams?”

She gives me a look. “Are y’all saying that you don’t deserve it?”

We’ve been through this before. “You know that’s not what I mean. It just means that I can’t have it all.”

“But you’re deaf, Lennie. You already don’t have everything.”

She doesn’t mean that to be as harsh as you think. Trisha loves me to death, and she would never say anything or do anything to hurt me. She simply means that I don’t have everything. She’s not intentionally trying to point out a flaw that I can’t change, or rub that flaw in my face, either. “Trisha, you know that me being deaf has been a gift more than a curse.” I gesture with my hand. “Look at the skills I have because I can’t hear. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.”

“Lennie, I love you for seeing it that way, but you also see it that way because you don’t know what you’re missing out on. You were born deaf. You’ve never heard birds chirping or the sound of music, and you’ll never be able to hear the man you love tell you that he loves you.”

I wait a beat for emphasis. “But I’ll feel it.”

She bites her lip and cradles my face with her hands. “You will. God, you are such a beautiful person, Lennie. But you deserve to have everything you want. Maybe Levi isn’t it.”

“I know he’s not. But there’s no law against dreaming is there.”

“No.” She blinks. “I suppose there’s not.”

“Face it, Trisha. If it isn’t real love, if it isn’t something that I can feel or see, then it’s not worth having, now, is it. All my life, my mama and daddy have been telling me that it doesn’t matter that I can’t hear a thing, it’s that I have a gift. A gift that’s brought me more gifts than many may see in a lifetime. The money that I earn and the life that I’ve made for myself, most men wouldn’t be able to handle. At least not in this town. And even though Levi isn’t one of those men, he’s also spoken for. And if he isn’t an honorable man, who doesn’t take responsibility for that child, then what good is he to me.”

“You certainly are a much bigger person than I am. Hell, if I were after a man like Levi, I’d be planting booby traps everywhere for that other tramp.”

I can’t help but laugh. “I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I thought for a split second about posting that picture on social media and tagging Levi in it. If her personality is as hard looking as her face is, that will not be well received.”

“You know as well as I do with that if you do that, and Levi pays a price for it, he’ll never speak to you again anyway.”

“Exactly.” I start scrolling through the pictures that I took tonight. “And I’m okay with just being his friend. If that’s all I can be to him, then I’ll take it.”

She gets a mischievous grin on her face, like the Cheshire cat, as she elbows me. “Nothing says that you can’t be the other woman. That would be something. Cutting your teeth on a man like that.”

“As much as that thought is what is going to keep me up at night, you see the look on his face in that picture with her, right? That’s because he’s with a tramp. I like the smile on his face better in the pictures of him and I, frankly.”

“You slay me, my friend. Still haven’t given up hope on losing your virginity to the right one huh?”

“I’ve kept it this long. Why would I give it up now?”

She pats my leg. “Do you want to come over to my place? Watch a late movie?”

“Maybe tomorrow. I’ve got an idea for one of these shots, and I want to use my creative juices tonight.”

“You sure? I’ll find us a really raunchy romance flick. That ought to get your juices flowing.”

“Tomorrow. I’ll even bring the stick of butter.” I wink.

After Trisha leaves, I decide to do one oil painting, and one portrait from the specimens I gathered tonight. The oil painting will have to wait for another day, since I’m out of some of the paint that I need, but I work on the digital photograph for another hour before leaving to go home. Normally, I stop in at mama and daddy’s place on my way home from the store, but since it’s past midnight, it’s far too late. I send mama a text message letting her know that I’m going home. And just as I figured she would, she sends me a text message back with a heart.

My eyes are tired, but my body is wide awake as I drive the ten minutes to my house. The landscapers have been around to cut the grass and manicure my garden. The small lamps that line the walkway flicker as I walk past them. The coach lamp on my porch lights with my motion, which alerts me that I have a visitor when I’m inside the house. With the equipment I have in my basement, and some of the inventory that I’ve kept over the years, my home security system is almost as robust as the one at the store. Both systems light up like Christmas trees to alert me of any problems.

After I get myself ready for bed, I realize a mistake that I’ve made. The photos that I took of me and Levi together tonight I’ve sent to my phone. Pouring over them repeatedly, I rob myself of much needed sleep. Hungering for his touch, my fingers find places on my body where I dream that Levi would touch. Living alone lends me the privacy for such fantasies. Hormones racing, body thrumming, I allow myself to plunge deep into a conscious dream of the man I want and can’t have. The man I think about constantly. The man that I feel has brought me as close to love as I’ve ever been.

This may be infatuation, but whatever it is, and in whatever capacity, I let myself feel it in private. Because that’s all I’ve ever known, and it likely is all I will ever know. Soft, overworked fingertips brush my beaded nipples, sending pulses between my legs, as I picture Levi’s mouth and tongue doing what my hand is doing. My imagination plays with me, showing me, both in my mind, and in all my nerve endings, what it would feel like if Levi were here with me now. Mouth wet and strong, his lips encircle my nipples as my fingers do the work and my mind rolls the tape over and over again, until the first orgasm strikes.

Back arched, wetness hungry, one hand ventures south, while the other one still teases my breasts. In my mind, Levi’s feathery tongue flicks my hardened clit, while my fingers do the work in real time. They play with me, artfully inserting in and out of my wetness, in a perfect rhythm, as I envision Levi’s cock pulsing in and out of me, pelvis thrusting feverishly, until the second orgasm comes, even stronger than the first. My mastery knows no bounds, nor does my fruitful imagination, as I slide a third finger inside, while circling my clit with the pad of my thumb, making myself come a third time effortlessly.

Knowing my own body so well, it’s doubtful that a man could match my prowess. I’ve been single all my life, and there is no reason why I would need a man to pleasure me. However, I’ll die before I admit that I would love to feel a man’s touch just once. So many faces and bodies have appeared in my dreams, but something tells me that Levi’s image is going to make a lasting impression. I’m exhausted, even though I know that I could do this all night. And I have. Trisha and I have spoken about my overactive libido, and evidently, I’m the only one that can get herself off multiple times in one night, alone. No battery-operated friends required.

It’s a gift.

And, for right now, it’s just a gift for me, as it’s always been. I lie there, relaxed and satisfied, thinking about how nice it would be to be in Levi’s arms. Like I was, even if it was just for a second earlier tonight. Sitting behind him on the horse was, at the time, nerve-wracking, but now that I’m alone, and I’ve got a few orgasms out, I can admit it that he is one very special man. I’ll keep that to myself. Except from Trisha. I tell her everything. What is this Shelly person like, anyway? What could he see in her? Maybe she’s just really good in bed. I mean, if she’s pregnant, then they must at least have good chemistry together. If Trisha were here, and if I’d said that out loud, she would say that that’s not necessarily true. A woman can get pregnant sometimes so easily, it doesn’t have to be good sex or even a good orgasm that gets her there.

But something tells me that Levi is very good in bed. Of course, I have no frame of reference, so this is all projection. The way he looks at me, the way he held me for just a second, and the way he moves, all are great indicators that he would be good in bed. And, lord strike me dead for admitting this, but I’m convinced that Trisha is right, that Levi does have a fantastic package, because I’ve checked it out myself. No, I’ve never seen a real live penis before, and no, I don’t want to go to a club to see one, thanks. Unless it’s attached to the man I love, I’m not interested. And, frankly, those types of clubs scare me. I’d much rather watch my man do a strip tease. Of course, there is no shortage of sexy cowboys here in Copper Cove, and a few of them have looked my way. But nobody has ever showed a genuine interest in me. Never has that look been in a man’s eye for me before.

Not until I met Levi.

And I can’t have him.

It’s a tragedy.

Chapter 9

Her car is parked in the driveway when I arrive, and I hope to God that she’s finally ready to talk. I need to know. I need to know a lot of things. I need answers. This shit is going to ruin me if I don’t find out. “Levi? That you?” She calls out as I enter the house. And it strikes me that I still don’t even know how she pays for it. To my knowledge, she has no job. She just goes to school.

“Yeah.” It smells wonderful in here. Like she’s had a pot roast in the slow cooker all day.

“You hungry?”

“I am now. Jesus Christ, this must be what heaven smells like.” She smiles, as I enter the kitchen. An apron around her waist and matching oven mitts makes her look like a whole other person. “Have you been cooking all day?”

“Kind of. My girlfriends are coming over later. But I made enough for you, if you want some.”

“Sure. I’m game.” I’m half pleased that she’s in such a great mood and cooked, but I’m also have concerned that with her having company over later, that she either won’t be up for talking about anything serious, or there won’t be enough time to do so. “What time is this shindig starting up?”

“Soon. They should be here in an hour. Y’all can stay for a bit if you want to meet them.”

Part of me wants to stay and see if her friends will bring out any more truth in her, but the other part doesn’t want to get to know more people in her circle. Do they even know that she’s pregnant? Do they know about me? Why is she even offering for me to stay? Isn’t that weird if it’s a girls’ night? “Um, I’ll think about it.” I go for bold. “Do they know that you’re pregnant?”

“No. I haven’t told anybody yet.” Interesting.

‘What about the whole party at Wyatt’s wedding’ comes to mind, but I don’t say anything. “Why not?”

She ignores my question and sticks a wooden spoon in my face. It’s steaming with something that looks and smells like what’s in the room, so I can’t resist. “Taste this for me. Tell me if it needs anything else.”

I take a bite. It’s perfect. “No. I’d eat it as it is.” She washes the spoon off before placing it back into the pot. Then she turns the radio up in the kitchen. It was already on softly, but it’s now playing more upbeat tunes. I feel like she’s got this party vibe going, and me asking a lot of questions is not going to go over well, but I need to try. “Do you mind answering a question?”

“What question is that?” She asks, like she didn’t hear me the first time.

“Why didn’t you tell your friends that you’re pregnant?”

The oven mitts come off. “Because I figured after the slip of my tongue at the wedding, it might set you off.”

“It set everyone off, actually.”

Wrong choice of words.

Her face changes. A hand goes to her hip. “Are you trying to pick a fight?”

“No. In fact, I came here because I want to talk to you about a few things.”

Her face is set. She pulls a chair out and gestures for me to sit. But I feel like I’m about to be attacked for my comment. “So, sit. Talk.”

She doesn’t bother to turn the radio down. It’s like she’s not about to let me ruin her vibe, even though her face says that it’s already ruined. “Well, um, I think we ought to talk about this baby.”

She’s irritated. “What about it?” A hand goes through her hair, and her tone says that she’s in a hurry.

I chuckle facetiously. “What are we going to do about it?”

“Define ‘do about it’.”

“Are we keeping it? Are we giving it up for adoption? How far along are you? Things like that. Normal things that two people expecting a baby would have discussed already.”

A quick sigh. “Look, Levi. I don’t have any answers right now, okay? Jesus Christ, here I am, trying to forget about my problems for the night, and here you are, reminding me of every last one of them.”

“I’m sorry.” I say, although my tone is unapologetic. “But we need to get this shit out in the open. I need to know.”

“Why? Why do you need to know this very second, Levi?” She demands.

“It’s not this very second, Shelly. Shit, we’ve known about this long enough. We’ve not discussed a goddamn thing, and I need to know.”

She rounds on me. “Why? If I say I’m keeping it, are you going to flee? What if I don’t want it? Are you going to try to talk me down off the ledge? And why do I have to decide now, anyway? I’m in school, just like you are. I’ve got assignments and tests to worry about, too, you know.”

“I get all that.” I raise a hand and level with her. “Really, I do. But nothing is going to get solved if we don’t talk about it.”

Sitting down with a slump, she huffs but then goes silent. I’m thinking it’s best to keep quiet while she thinks, but then I do something stupid. “Are you married, Shelly?”

Slowly, icily, her gaze meets mine. Her voice is low, warning. “Why would you ask me that.”

“The rings. The ones that were on your counter until just a few days ago. I figured y’all was married and now you’re up shit’s creek without a paddle.”

Her snuffle is mirthless. Her smile is more like she can’t believe what I just said. “Where do you get off?”

“What do you mean? When a woman that I’m seeing and is having my baby owns a pair of wedding rings one day and then they disappear the next, I think I have a right to know, or am I crazy?”

It’s like she can’t handle my angle on this. Her eyes flutter as she drags a hand through her hair. “Let’s just get back to the subject at hand here, okay? I am pregnant. Beyond that, I don’t have a goddamn clue what I’m going to do about it yet, okay? And the last thing I need is for you or anyone to come around and try to tell me what I should do.”

“Then why did you blurt it out to an entire fucking restaurant?” I say aloud, not bothering to hide the ire in my voice.

She swallows, so angry I swear to God there is smoke coming out of her ears. “I made a mistake. It was a Freudian slip. If I could take it back I would, but I can’t, and you shoving that in my face right now is really low.”

My chest heaves with a deep breath. When I let it out, I place a hand on her arm. “I’m sorry. Look, I’m no better at this than you are. We both aren’t great with being put in surprise positions. I just, I want to be on the same page as you. If we’re going to make these important decisions together, then we’ve got to talk it out first, that’s all.” I pause and search her eyes, which are softening some. “Can you at least do me one favor, so that we’re all on the same page?”

After a beat, she nods. “Sure.”

“Can you go to the doctor and at least find out how much time we’ve got until a decision needs to be made? Figure out how far along you are?”

A swallow, and her voice evens. “I can do that. But can we agree that we don’t talk about this again until I do?”

“That sounds fair.” I nod.

She leans forward and kisses me on the mouth. I kiss her back, but it feels different. It’s like she’s my fucking sister now. But I hide it by changing the subject and speaking like I need to ask her something quick. “Okay, so, since this is going to be a PG party, do y’all want me to head down to the Cineplex and grab you some movie popcorn or something?”

“They’re bringing guacamole and junk food, but thanks.”

I lift a brow. “Isn’t guacamole going to make you hurl?”

She waves. “No. I don’t eat it, anyway. It’s for my vegan friend.”

“Remind me to steer clear of her.”

“It’s a he.” Her eyes flash.

Another brow lift. “Really?”

“He also likes nail polish, Elton John, and tonight we’re watching Cher’s concert on Netflix.”

“So, he’s gay.”

She gives me a look that says, ‘Bingo’, and clucks her tongue. “And I’m bringing him with me to this Copper Cove Hoedown, because he died when he found out that I was going and know someone else that was going, too.”

My voice is flat, unimpressed. “Why.”

“Because he’s dying to have a fling with a small-town cowboy, and he swears that there’s no decent ones right here in Dallas.” We hear the door knock. Her eyes light up. “Oh, that’s them now!”

Shelly

Finally! God, I mean, Levi is sweet and all, but I just couldn’t take another minute of that. Things got all kinds of serious there. What I need is to kick back and relax, but I don’t want to put it out there that Levi isn’t welcome to meet my friends, either. These girls have gotten me through thick and thin over the years, and I haven’t seen them since I met Levi. Not that that’s his fault or anything.

As soon as I open up the front door, Darla, my tall, knockout friend opens her arms wide and squeals at my presence. “Girl, I feel like it’s been years!” She hugs me tight, and then she thumbs behind her. “Did you see that kick ass truck out there? Who belongs to that?”

Laz, my gay friend, interjects, sizing up Levi, who is standing there, seemingly numb. “That can only be driven by some hot cowboy and just look who’s right in front of us. Shells, are you going to introduce us to this tall drink of water here?”

“Laz, Darla, this is Levi, my boyfriend.”

Like the gallant, dude that he is, Levi sticks his hand out for them both to shake. “Nice to meet you.” Levi says politely with a nod.

“Oh, girl. This is going to shape up to be an interesting evening.” Laz gushes.

“Oh, I can’t stay. I’ve got studying to do.” Levi cowers.

Now it’s a Darla’s turn to size him up. She gives him a sideways glance, with a smirk. “That’s a shame, doll.” I pick up on the facetious tone in her voice.

As the girls come away from the door, Levi squeezes his way through. “It was so nice meeting y’all. Have a nice evening.”

“Oh, we sure will.” Laz comments flirtatiously.

I give Levi a quick wave goodbye and close the door.

“I swear to God you should check for skid marks after he leaves.” Darla comments.

“That there is the poster boy for homophobia if I’ve ever seen one before.” Laz volunteers.

“He’s just from a small town.”

“Well, honey, I hope for both of our sakes, that they’re not all like that.”

Darla sniffs the air. “Have you been cooking all day?”

“I was doing it to impress my man, but I can see that turned to hell.”

“More for us.” Laz says.

The girls come into the living room and spread out all the snacks that they both brought in bags. I bring out the food in the casserole dish and some plates and cutlery. None of us drink. We’re more into the food. We did all the drinking that we needed to do years ago. The music gets turned up, and we do the usual dancing in the living room, turning my house into a nightclub. As we eat and catch up, Darla turns to me and asks. “So, I saw Gary last week.”

“My brother Gary or my ex?” I clarify.

“Your brother.”

I am unimpressed. “What did he want.”

“Nothing. He looked like shit though. Worse than the last time I ran into him.”

“Am I supposed to care?” My question is rhetorical.

“Not really. No more than the last time I told you about running into him. Should I save my breath next time?”

“I’ve got nothing to say to him. And nothing to say to my ex, Gary, either.”

Laz lifts a finger. “Did you finally do what I’ve been telling you to do all this time? Since the last time we had this conversation?”

“Yes.”

“And how much did you get?” Laz asks, in an ‘I told you so’ tone.

“Actually, more than you said I would.”

Laz sits up higher on the couch, suddenly much more interested. “Like, how much more?”

“Let’s just say that I won’t be taking a part-time job like I did last year.”

Darla’s eyes widen. “Really. You sure know how to pick them.”

Laz switches back to unimpressed. “Please. Honey, if that boy is living on a ranch, struggling through college, then he is not going to have a bank account like Gary does. Hell, for all we know, that truck could be on payments until he retires.”

“He spent five figures on a picture. Paid it in cash. Saw it with my own two eyes.”

Both girls’ eyes dart to me. Gasps come out of both of their mouths. “You’re fucking kidding me.” Darla states.

I shake my head. “Nope.”

“And he’s in school, too?”

“That’s right.”

I’m dying to tell them about my latest plan. The mother of all plans. But the looks on their faces are just too delicious.

I’ll save that for another day.