Chapte Nineteen
KENDALL
The Lamaze class instructor—whose name I’ve already forgotten despite
her introducing herself three times—demonstrates another breathing
technique that’s supposed to make labor feel like “riding a wave” instead of
“being hit by a truck.”
I’m skeptical.
But I breathe anyway, because what else am I going to do? Aleksi’s
beside me on the yoga mat, legs crossed, hands resting on his knees like
he’s about to meditate his way into fatherhood. He’s the only dad in the
room who looks genuinely excited about pelvic floor exercises.
“Okay, partners,” the instructor says. “Let’s practice the supportive touch
we talked about. Dads, place your hand on mama’s lower back and apply
gentle pressure.”
Aleksi shifts closer, his palm warm and steady against the small of my
back. The pressure is perfect—firm enough to ground me, soft enough not
to feel invasive.
“Like this?” he asks quietly.
I nod, eyes closed, trying to ignore the way my pulse kicks up every time
he touches me.
“Great,” the instructor says, walking past us. “You two are naturals.”
Aleksi grins at me, all sunshine and pride, and I have to look away before
I do something stupid like cry in the middle of a breathing exercise.
By the time class ends, I’m exhausted in that good, productive way. Like
I’ve actually accomplished something. Aleksi rolls up our mats while I grab
my water bottle, and we shuffle out with the rest of the couples, all of us
waddling in solidarity.
“That wasn’t so bad,” I say as we reach his car.
“You almost elbowed me during the hip openers,” he says, opening the
passenger door for me.
“You were encroaching on my personal space.”
“I was providing lumbar support.”
I roll my eyes but smile as I slide into the seat. He closes the door gently,
like I’m made of glass, and jogs around to the driver’s side.
The drive starts out quiet, the city glowing soft in the early evening light.
I lean my head against the window, watching Seattle blur past—coffee
shops, bookstores, a dog walker juggling four leashes like a circus act.
Then Aleksi takes a turn I don’t recognize.
I frown. “This isn’t the way to my apartment.”
“I know,” he says, far too casual.
“Aleksi.”
“Just trust me. Small detour.”
I narrow my eyes at him, but he’s already grinning, and I know—know—
that whatever this is, I’m not going to win.
“Where are we going?”
“You’ll see.”
Twenty minutes later, we pull through Vivi and Isla’s gated community,
but we don’t take the visitor entrance. We take the resident side and
instantly the gates open for us.
“We’re going to Trey’s house? Did you get a permanent pass?” I ask.
“You’ll see.”
We turn onto a tree-lined street that looks like it was ripped straight out of
a home-and-garden magazine. Maples arch overhead, their leaves just
starting to turn gold. The houses are all huge with wide porches and actual
yards. The kind of things that don’t exist in my studio apartment universe.
He slows in front of a soft gray-blue house with white shutters and a For
Sale sign out front that reads PENDING in bold red letters.
My stomach flips. “What are we doing here?”
“Taking a look around.” He parks and cuts the engine. “It’s a stroller walk
from Vivi’s and you can practically throw a rock into Isla’s backyard from
the back fence.”
I blink at him. “You want me to look at a house I can’t afford?”
“Just humor me.” He’s already out of the car, heading toward the lockbox
on the front door.
I unbuckle slowly, my brain scrambling to catch up. Aleksi punches in a
code, retrieves a key, and unlocks the door like he’s done this a hundred
times.
“I don’t understand why we’re going into this house,” I say as he pushes
the door open to reveal a gorgeous foyer, beautiful hardwood floors, high
ceilings. The smell of fresh paint and carpet cleaner reaches my nose. Light
pouring through windows makes the whole space feel like a movie. Every
room is fully furnished but doesn’t look lived in, as if it’s brand new and
staged, but not in an uncomfortable, professional staging way.
We pass by a formal dining room with a table for ten. An office with a
desk I would kill to work from home when the baby gets here. A powder
room, formal sitting room and a living room.
This is a house far bigger than anything I’ve ever imagined owning. Even
on a team doctor’s salary, I could never afford a house in this neighborhood.
It’s for tech giants and pro athletes with multi-millions. Guys like Trey and
Aleksi who can afford this kind of life.
“We’re just taking a look around,” he says, holding the door wider for me
to step through. “Trey knows the realtor. Keep an open mind, okay?”
I step inside, and my breath catches.
I
follow him through the last space downstairs, a massive kitchen
gleaming with white cabinets and butcher-block counters, and there’s a
window over the sink that frames the backyard like a painting. And the kind
of kitchen and eating nook that’s big enough to host thanksgiving dinners
for the entire team.
Even the fridge is stocked with unopened food. Aleksi chuckles to
himself and mutters “figures she would…” when he glances over my
shoulder inside the state of the art fridge.
“Aleksi…” My voice comes out softer than I mean it to. “This is
stunning… and way out of my budget.”
“Just look around,” he says gently. “No pressure.”
I move through the space slowly, taking in every detail. And then I see
the stairs.
Aleksi motions for me to go first.
“We’re going up to the second story?” I ask, not completely sure if I want
to see anymore since I’m already falling in love with the house and I know
this is so far out of my grasp that it’s almost mean of him to have brought
me here.
“And a third story… if you want.” he says behind me, amused. But it’s
mostly just a gym, theater room, and a full guest suite with its own
bathroom up there.
How does he know that?
I climb slowly, one hand on the railing, the other on my belly. The second
floor opens into a hallway with four doors. I peek into the first two—both
are guest rooms, soft and neutral. The third door is a bathroom with a
clawfoot tub that makes me want to dissolve into bubbles immediately.
And then I open the fourth, which has double doors.
I freeze.
The master bedroom is flooded with light from two large windows that
overlook the backyard. A stunning king size bed with a cream colored duvet
sits on one side of the room, a matching dresser sits on the opposite
side,and there’s a chase chair in another corner with a soft blanket that
looks like a great place to unwind and read a book… or work player charts
with a cup of Leena’s tea. It’s the kind of room that feels like a sanctuary
after long travel days with the team.
But it’s the door off to the side that stops my heart.
“What’s that?” I whisper.
“A nursery,” Aleksi says quietly from the doorway.
I cross the room and push the door open.
The nursery is small but perfect. Cream walls. White trim. A window that
lets in just enough light with black out curtains tucked to the side. And then
I see it. The crib Aleksi bought… the rocking chair… the stuffed narwhal
and books that Leena sent me last month.
My throat tightens.
“Aleksi…” I turn to him, and I don’t even know what I’m trying to say.
“Why are we here?”
He steps closer, hands in his pockets, eyes soft. “Because I wanted you to
see it. To see what it could be. What you could have.”
“For who?”
“For you and the baby. And maybe one day… for us. But I’m not going to
ask you for that yet. This is just about you right now.”
The word lands like a stone in still water, ripples spreading before I can
stop them.
“Aleksi, I can’t—” I shake my head, panic rising. “I can’t afford this. Not
even close. This is—this is your world, not mine.”
“It could be ours,” he says, and there’s no hesitation in his voice. No
doubt. Just quiet, stubborn certainty.
I stare at him, my pulse hammering. “You’re serious.”
“I’m always serious about you.”
My chest aches. I want to say yes. I want to throw my arms around him
and cry and let myself believe that this beautiful home could actually be
ours. That this is the house I could bring our newborn baby home from the
hospital in.
But fear claws its way up my throat.
“I can’t afford it.”
“I know. I already bought it for you and the baby,” he says.
“I can’t let you do this for me…it’s so much more than I can repay you
for.”
“You’re giving me a son, Kendall. That’s more than enough. And I think
you’ll like the last part.”
“What’s that?”
“I didn’t buy you the house. It’s in a trust for him but you’re the trustee.
So in a way, you don’t owe me anything. It’s his… for you to build a family
for him in. The safety you never had. A roof over his head that you’ll never
have to worry about. I see him scraping his knee out on the sidewalk
outfront, him falling out of his first tree in the backyard… birthday parties
in that kitchen.”
“I don’t—” I swallow hard. “I don’t know how to do this, Aleksi. I don’t
know how to let you—”
“Then let me show you,” he says, stepping closer. His hand finds mine,
warm and steady. “Let me show you what it looks like when someone
stays.”
Tears blur my vision. I press my free hand to my mouth, trying to hold it
together, but it’s no use.
“I’m scared,” I whisper.
“I know.” His thumb brushes over my knuckles. “But I’m not going
anywhere. Not now. Not ever.”
My eyes catch on something on the wall. Something I know so well, it
used to be hanging up in my apartment until Aleksi took it a week ago.
The framed stars.
I walk over and run a finger over the frame.
“You took it to put in here.”
“It’s perfect don’t you think? Now he just needs a name.”
He’s right. This baby is going to be here in four months and he still
doesn’t have a name.
I think hard about what feels right. Aleksi just bought our son a house and
I haven’t even given our son a name.
Then I remember Aleksi’s father, the man who raised him with strength
and heart, the man who taught him how to love people the way he does
now.
“You’ve given me so much,” I say, turning toward him. “I want to give
you something in return.”
“You don’t owe me anything.”
“I want to…” I take a breath. “What if we name him Niko Mäkelin.”
For a heartbeat, he doesn’t move. His eyes widen, glass-bright, his mouth
parting on a sound that doesn’t quite make it out. Then he presses a hand to
his chest like he’s steadying something inside him.
“My father,” he says softly. “You’d really do that for me?”
I nod.
He crosses the room in two strides and pulls me against him, arms
wrapping around me like he’s afraid I’ll disappear. His breath catches at my
ear. “You don’t know what that means to me.”
I do. I can feel it in the way he holds me against me, the way his voice
roughens when he says, “Niko.”
I lift my head to look at him. “I think he’d like it here.”
Aleksi smiles then, the kind of smile that undoes me.
The one he only reserves for me.
The one he gives me on the ice when he knows I’m watching.
When he scores or assists on a goal and looks to me like each one is
mine. No one has ever looked at me the way Aleksi does.
It’s not worship… it’s something quieter, steadier—like he’s memorizing
the parts of me no one else ever bothered to see. And that’s what terrifies
me most but it’s also what draws me closer.
He cups my face in both hands, eyes shining. “You’re the only one that
can make this empty house a home. Will you move in?”
I realize, standing here under his gaze, that losing Tarron was survivable.
Losing my mother was inevitable.
But losing Aleksi?… That might destroy me.
I don’t think I could survive that kind of loss.
“I don’t know what to say,” I whisper.
He steps closer, voice low but sure. “Say you’ll take the house. Say you’ll
give our son the start he deserves—the start you deserve.”
My throat tightens. “I don’t deserve you.”
“Yes, you do,” he says, his eyes catching the light like something certain.
“And if you just keep saying yes, I’ll show you all the ways I plan to give
you the world.”
I shake my head, a small laugh slipping out with my tears. “What if I
don’t need the world, Aleksi? What if I just want you?”
His hand comes up, fingers brushing my cheek, gentle and reverent.
“Doc,” he murmurs, his accent softening even more, “you’ve owned me,
body and soul, since the day we met. I would have told you sooner but you
wouldn’t have believed me. So I’m telling you now if it wasn’t already
obvious… I’m yours.”
Then he kisses me, it’s not rushed. It’s quiet and aching and full of
everything we haven’t been brave enough to say out loud. I sink into him,
fingers curling in his shirt.
We lower to the nursery floor, the soft new rug beneath us, the framed
stars giving us hope for the future. His mouth trails over my temple, my
jaw, the edge of my throat, every touch a promise that he’s never leaving
me.
My hands find the back of his neck, drawing him closer.
Our hands move over each other, pulling off articles of clothing until
there’s nothing between us anymore.
His eyes drop to the chain around my neck. The ring I had sealed in resin
lying between my breasts.
He reaches for it and takes a closer look. Then recognition hits him. “You
kept it?”
“I wasn’t ready to let it go that morning when I left. I guess I’m still not.”
“Me either,” he says, the ring finger of his right hand still sporting a
weathered band around it that he must have coated in something too or it
wouldn’t have held up this long with sweat and showers.
He pulls me on top of him, the nursery floor is soft beneath my knees, the
new rug still smelling faintly of the store it came from. Aleksi’s hands slide
up my thighs, his touch warm and sure, grounding me even as my pulse
races. I dip down and his mouth finds mine again, slow and deep, like he’s
memorizing the shape of me.
“I want you,” he murmurs against my lips. “Always.”
I don’t answer with words. Instead, I shift back up, straddling his hips,
my belly pressed between us. His breath hitches as I settle over him, the
heat of his erection already hard and ready beneath me. His hands grip my
waist, steadying me, but he lets me set the pace- let’s me take him how I
want to.
I reach between us, wrapping my fingers around his hard length, guiding
him to where I’m already wet and aching. The first press of him inside me
makes us both groan, the stretch almost too good, the connection stronger
than ever before. I sink down slowly, rocking back and forth on top of him,
taking him inch by inch, until he’s fully seated inside me, filling me in a
way that makes my vision blur.
“Fuck, Kendall,” he groans. ”You feel—”
“Perfect,” I finish for him, because it’s true. We fit like we always have.
The way I’ve never fit with anyone but him.
I start to move, rolling my hips in slow, deep circles. His hands slide up
to my ribs, his thumbs brushing the undersides of my breasts, his touch firm
and needy, but gentle at the same time. Like he’d never let anyone or
anything hurt me, and somehow I know that’s true.
Every time I lift and lower, the friction sends sparks through my nerves,
building the pressure low in my belly.
His eyes never leave mine, even as his breath grows ragged. “So fucking
beautiful like this.”
I lean forward, bracing my hands on his shoulders, changing the angle.
The shift makes him hit deeper, and I gasp, my nails digging into his skin,
my eyes rolling at the sensation. I mumble something like ‘oh God’ but I’m
too far gone to know for sure.
“Aleksi—”
His hands move to my hips, helping me ride him. “Keep going Kendall.
You tightening around me feels so good… you’re about to come. Don’t
slow down–.” His thumb finds my clit, circling in time with my
movements, and the dual sensation sends me spiraling. My orgasm crashes
over me, sudden and intense, my body clenching around him as I cry out his
name.
He doesn’t let up. His hips lift to meet mine, his thrusts growing harder,
more urgent, taking me from the bottom as if I had never been in control at
all. Then he pulls me down and kisses me, his tongue wiping at mine, and
then he buries his face against my neck with a groan, his release spilling
inside me. I can feel him pulse, feel the way his body tenses and then
relaxes beneath mine.
For a long moment, we stay like that—breathlessly tangled, his hands still
gripping my waist like he’s afraid to let go. Then, slowly, he lifts me, his
arms wrapping around me as he stands. I let out a small shriek and he
chuckles as I cling to him, trying not to fall. My legs wrapped around his
waist like a vice, my heart still pounding.
“Where are you taking me,” I ask.
“We should break in the bed too,” he murmurs, his lips brushing my ear.
I laugh, breathless and giddy. “You’re insatiable.”
“Only for you.”
We fall like that into bed for the next couple of hours, making up for time
lost.
Being with him, in this house, knowing that the future is scary but
coming for us, is exciting and terrifying all at the same time. Maybe Aleksi
is rubbing off on me but all I can think about is how we can have it all: be
together–a family, and keep our careers.
