Chapter 103
I calmly glanced around and carefully examined the wizards surrounding us. The first thing I noticed was a fully-fledged Auror battle star—a well-coordinated team of five veteran combat mages, as I recognized from their ferocious faces and rather high-quality gear. Standing slightly apart from the militants were four DPM investigators, distinguished by their civilian clothes, silver badges on their chests, and a hint of intelligence on their slightly arrogant faces. It only took me a few moments to realize who this assault team had come for: there he was, standing nearby, glaring at the head of the DPM with a good-natured smile.
– Amelia, you, what’s wrong? – The gamekeeper looked at the woman, embarrassed. – What kind of mister am I to you, huh? You, you, you, have always called me Hagrid, you, since first year. We, you, you, are not at this, what’s it called, oatmeal reception at the Ministry. And who would let me in there, huh?
Amelia smiled thinly in response and pulled a black notebook and quill from her pocket, while I, out of curiosity, activated my empathy. I still found it hard to believe that Madam Bones had come to arrest Hagrid, after all, she was rumored to be honest, incorruptible, and always followed the letter of the law. Alas, my fears were confirmed; a whole emotional cocktail raged within the woman: regret and a sense of injustice warred with a sense of duty and responsibility. “I understand, gentlemen of the government, but I will not hand over Hagrid to you without a fight!”
“Mr. Hagrid, I’m wondering where you were this afternoon?” The head of the DMP looked intently at the gamekeeper. “And more specifically, what were you doing between lunch and dinner?”
– Well, this… Tavo… – The half-giant glanced nervously at the wizards surrounding us. – Of course… I, this, was feeding the thestrals at the edge of the Forbidden Forest, yeah. And then, this, when it started getting dark, I took the children home, yeah. They, this, worked up an appetite in the fresh air, yeah. It’s not right to keep children hungry, this, I, this, promised Professor McGonagall, yeah.
“Mr. Hagrid, are you telling me that you spent the entire day feeding the Thestrals in the Forbidden Forest, and then in the evening, on your way back, you encountered a group of students at the edge of the forest and decided to feed them?” The woman looked skeptically at the forester. “It took you a whole day to reach the herd and dump a sack of meat on them?”
– Yeah, that’s how it was. – Hagrid nodded confidently, and then shook his head. – I mean, no! Yes! There were, like, two bags of meat, yeah.
“Mr. Hagrid, how long would it take you to walk from the Thestral clearing to the Hogwarts hospital wing and back?” The woman continued to write in her notebook. “Preferably while remaining unnoticed by other students and school staff.”
– Well, it’s not far from here, yeah. – The half-giant scratched his head thoughtfully. – Half an hour there and half an hour back, yeah. And why go unnoticed? Huh? Hardly anyone pays attention to me anyway, yeah. Besides, today is the day off for the kids and professors, yeah. The castle was basically empty during the day, yeah.
“Mr. Hagrid, so you confirm that you knew there would be virtually no students or professors in the castle today?” The Head of the D.M.P. looked up from her notepad and nodded to her men. “And yet you were able to sneak into Hogwarts and return to the Forbidden Forest undetected?”
“Aha!” The forester nodded contentedly, and I noticed the wizards surrounding us had their wands out. “Amelia, I even know those secret corridors, yeah. Want me to show you, huh?”
– Madam Bones, – I decided to interrupt Hagrid before he blurted out anything else and took a step forward. – And you haven’t forgotten about us?
“Miss Hellsing, unfortunately, according to the laws of Wizarding Britain, I am not allowed to interrogate you without the presence of your legal guardian.” The woman sighed heavily, feigning a heavy sigh. “But if you voluntarily decide to reveal important information to the D.M.P….”
“Of course I do, and to make it official, I’m ready to contact Mother immediately, and she’ll send a representative of our family to Hogwarts.” I interrupted the woman and pulled the Wonderphone from my pocket. “Let’s go to the Headmaster’s office, and there, as the heir to the sacred Hellsing line, I will officially declare that I spent the entire day in Mr. Hagrid’s company, as did my friends. And if my words aren’t enough, I’m ready to confirm them with an oath on Holy Scripture, but to do that, I’ll have to contact the Archbishop of the Church of England or Her Majesty, the Queen of the British Empire.”
“I’m also prepared to confirm Miss Hellsing’s words.” Justin stood next to me and twirled the Wonderphone in his hands. “In the presence of Lord Finch-Fletchley, the Treasurer-General of the British Empire, of course. Mr. Hagrid spent the entire day with us and never left.”
“Yes, that’s right!” Ron looked confidently at the head of the D.M.L. “Right after the game, Hagrid and I went to the Thestral clearing, where we hand-fed them and even flew around for a bit. And then, when it started getting dark, we went to his house and had a delicious dinner of smoked wings. And I can call Mum, too, and she’ll Floo to Dumbledore’s office.”
“Miss Hellsing, Mr. Finch-Fletchley, Mr. Weasley, I hear you. There’s no need to disturb your loved ones, especially since this conversation is informal.” A certain satisfaction appeared in Madam Bones’s expression, and she glanced at one of the Aurors before shaking her head. “Mr. Hagrid, I won’t keep you any longer; you may go your way.”
– Amelia, were you… interrogating me, or something? – The gravity of the situation finally dawned on Hagrid, and he looked at the woman in confusion. – For what? What happened?
“Hagrid, there was another attack on a student at school this afternoon.” The witch sighed sadly. “And we’re simply questioning all possible witnesses, you understand?”
“Yeah,” the forester nodded. “That bastard did something again, huh? But I was just doing chores all day, like, looking after the kids, yeah.”
“Hagrid, no one is accusing you of anything.” Amelia Bones smiled warmly at the half-giant. “And if I offended you in any way, on behalf of the entire DPM, I offer my sincere apologies.””You, uh, stop apologizing.” The forester waved his hand and smiled back. “I, uh, understand everything. That’s your job…”
“Hagrid, the DMP staff just decided to feign frenetic activity and quickly found a scapegoat.” I took the giant’s hand and broke into a sly smile. “Only he had an airtight alibi.”
“Miss Hellsing, I don’t understand what you’re talking about.” The woman, who looked remarkably like Dana Scully, looked at me with the most honest eyes. “I simply asked Mr. Hagrid a couple of questions, and I repeat, he is not accused of anything.”
“Madam Bones, who is it this time?” Ron looked around with interest at the law enforcement officers standing around. “A pureblood again?”
“Mr. Weasley, this is an investigative secret, so the whole school already knows about it.” Bones-Scully chuckled. “The victim was Miss Chang; her body was found on the stairs leading to the hospital wing.”
– Well… – I muttered quietly under my breath. – I didn’t have time.
“Miss Hellsing, did you say something?” The head of the DMP immediately turned in my direction. “If you know anything or suspect someone, I’m listening carefully.”
“No, no, what are you saying?” I shook my head. “I just felt sorry for poor Zhou and her family.”
“I understand, in that case let’s go to the castle.” The woman nodded slightly to the forester. “Hagrid, we’ll take the children to the common room.”
“Amelia, now you, this one, I’ll take you all the way to the portrait!” The half-giant shook his finger at the head of the DMP and turned to us with a smile. “Bye, kids, this one, come visit more often, okay?”
– Of course, Hagrid. – I smiled sincerely and hugged the forester. – Bye!
After a brief farewell to the half-giant, during which everyone hugged the enormous, kind man and wished him well, we, accompanied by the combined assault team, set off for the castle. The journey was short and silent, as we didn’t want to say anything in front of strangers. Fortunately, our paths diverged in the castle hall: the Aurors remained guarding the entrance, while Bones, having assigned us an escort, headed off with her assistants toward the director’s tower.
“Rigel, what were you saying about a scapegoat?” Ron turned to me as our group walked up the stairs. “Or do you really think they wanted to arrest Hagrid?”
– Of course. – I nodded to my friend. – He’s the perfect candidate.
– I don’t understand… – Weasley shook his head thoughtfully. – What does he have to do with it?
“What’s so hard to understand?” Hermione, who was walking next to him, looked up at the ceiling in dismay. “There’s been a maniac attacking pureblood students at this school for months, right?” Ron nodded. “And they still haven’t caught him!”
– What does Hagrid have to do with this? – Weasley looked at the girl in confusion.
“And considering that these pure-blood students have pure-blood parents, they demand the immediate capture and punishment of the villain.” Her curly-haired friend began explaining simple truths to the red-haired boy. “So the Ministry drones decided to show the citizens that they’re working and actively investigating. Besides, the DMP staff can’t sleep at night, thinking about the safety of Magical Britain—these useless idiots.”
“Exactly, and our big friend was perfect for it.” I glanced theatrically at the investigator accompanying us. “He’s half-giant, which means his rights are limited and he can be tried not as a wizard, but as a magical creature. Besides, if you haven’t forgotten, our Hagrid once served time in Azkaban for the murder of a Hogwarts student. So we have a previously convicted, practically disenfranchised, and, what’s more, a barely literate suspect. He would have unknowingly signed a confession and tomorrow he would have been sent off to feast on prison slop with the Dementors.”
– But that’s wrong! – Ron turned as red as an overripe tomato, realizing the injustice.
“Luckily, Hagrid had an airtight alibi,” Justin, who was walking ahead, turned and winked at his friend. “And witnesses ready to confirm it.”
“And the great, but absolutely useless detectives were disappointed.” I chuckled cheerfully. “Who do you think they’ll arrest now? Maybe they’ll fish out one of the house elves or a mermaid from the Black Lake?”
“I’d bet on Mrs. Norris,” Ron chuckled. “But those idiots might confuse her with McGonagall.”
“Actually, I hear everything,” the young investigator, who had been silently walking behind us this whole time, addressed us. “And I can file a formal complaint for slander and insult against law enforcement officers and the Ministry of Magic as a whole. And while you, Miss Hellsing, and you, Mr. Weasley, get off with fines, Miss Granger, given her background, faces a year in Azkaban.”
– Excuse me, mister, what’s your name? – Turning around, I smiled sweetly at this arrogant asshole. – Madam Bones didn’t introduce you.
“Junior Investigator McCafferty,” the wizard replied dryly.
“In that case, Junior Detective McCafferty, please accept my sincere apologies.” I put on my most innocent expression and looked him in the eye. “Neither I nor my friends meant to insult the valiant and honest employees of the Ministry of Magic. We are simply very frustrated by the arbitrary actions and inaction of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, which has led us to doubt the competence of the wizards working there.”
“Your doubts may be taken as an insult, but it’s a first time, so be it…” the young wizard replied pompously. “I forgive you, but if I hear one more bad word about the Ministry, I will immediately send an official complaint to Minister Fudge.” The arrogant asshole chuckled. “Believe me, brats, you won’t like it in the cells at all. The food there isn’t very good, and the company isn’t the most pleasant.”
“Junior Detective McCafferty, are you threatening me?” I continued to smile innocently.
“I’m warning you,” the young DMP officer grinned slyly. “Miss Hellsing, I just want to remind you and your friends that you are currently on Wizarding Britain’s soil and are required to abide by OUR laws, or you will go to Azkaban.””I heard you.” I nodded politely in response. “Thank you for reminding me.”
“You’re welcome.” The young investigator beamed contentedly. “By the way, we’re almost there; you can find the rest yourself.”
“Of course, thank you for seeing me off.” I looked kindly at the purebred asshole. “Goodbye, Junior Investigator McCafferty.”
The DMP officer stuck his nose in the air and, without saying goodbye, turned around and went about his business. My friends, who had been silent the entire time, watched the arrogant upstart pass with indignant eyes, then gave me strange, thoughtful glances.
“Ria, why were you so polite to him?” Hermione asked me cautiously.
“I agree, it’s not like you.” Ron looked me up and down. “That idiot threatened you with Azkaban! Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I don’t think Rigel wanted to start a scene,” Justin said, looking thoughtfully toward the stairs. “Although, that impudent idiot needed to be put in his place.”
“And he is an idiot and a degenerate,” my best friend turned to the boys. “What kind of person would you have to be to openly threaten the heir of the Hellsing family?”
“You’re right, Mia,” I continued to smile tenderly, “you’re right. Okay, let’s go to the living room, I’m already sleepy.”
***
Having finished reviewing the memory, I left the mind palace and leaned back tiredly on the pillow; that was enough Occlumency for today. These were perhaps the most interesting memories of the last month and a half, a couple of brawls between students not counting. The attack on Chang had thoroughly sobered up the pureblood radicals, and they had quieted down. Besides, Aurors had been put on duty at the school—five of them! True, they weren’t much use, since Hogwarts is huge, and it takes about a hundred people to cover every passage and corridor. But the psychological aspect was important: now the students knew that a battle star of the Auror Service was on duty at the school and would come to the rescue in case of emergency, assuming they had time, of course.
Once I’d settled under the covers, I thought again of Junior Detective McCafferty and his disgraceful behavior. That arrogant idiot really needed to be put in his place, but what was the point? He wouldn’t have understood anyway, and I didn’t need any unnecessary drama, plus my mother had asked me to behave properly. So I had to pretend to be a polite and courteous girl, while being very vindictive and vindictive.
“Perhaps we’ll write this on his gravestone: ‘Junior Detective McCafferty – we will forever remember you as an idiot and a degenerate.'” I looked at the tightly drawn canopy of my bed with a bloodthirsty smile. “I just need to find out from Victoria where she buried him…”
Maybe I could have forgiven that idiot, but I couldn’t let an open threat to Hermione go unpunished, and besides, he was too brazen and arrogant. So I held a grudge, and finding information about him wasn’t hard. The school library has a special section where yearbooks are kept publicly available. Thick leather folders are organized by year, and glued inside each one are photo albums of the graduates, complete with their full names and school achievements—handy, though. So, even in my first year, I had a photo of a cute guy named Tom Riddle, who graduated from Hogwarts in 1945.
I sent Victoria a roll of photographs of Benjamin Erich McCafferty, a Ravenclaw who graduated in 1990, a couple of days after the D.M.L.’s failed attempt to arrest Hagrid. And in early March, the Daily Prophet published an article about a missing young, pureblood, and very promising wizard. What a coincidence, right?
Considering his character and behavior, I’m surprised he managed to survive so long, especially working in law enforcement. That’s pretty much how I told my friends that day, and I hope they believed me. And if not, well, let them know what happens to those who threaten the heir to the sacred Hellsing family.
Okay, enough thinking about idiots, especially since the day after tomorrow is the holidays. This madhouse will finally be over, and I’ll find myself back at my homestead, surrounded by my family and friends. Lord, how I miss home! Only one day left, and it’s time to pack my bags. So, tomorrow our first lesson is double Transfiguration, followed by Defense of the Arts—that means classes will go quickly and interestingly. Looking forward to my imminent arrival in London, I smiled and fell into a sweet sleep.
***
“So, dear students, we’ve worked really hard this semester and even managed to get a little ahead of the school curriculum.” The tall wizard with blue eyes and golden hair looked at the second-years with a smile. “So, I’ve decided to dedicate the last day before the holidays to…” The man dramatically adjusted the edges of his bright turquoise robe. “Conversations! Today, you’ll be asking me questions, and I’ll be answering them. How about that?”
The talented writer’s response was met with a contented murmur from the students and smiles on their faces. Gilderoy himself dramatically waved the hem of his robes, a move he’d learned from Severus, and sat on the edge of his desk. Yes, it was inappropriate, but today wasn’t a lesson, but a friendly chat, and he wanted to show the children he was in the mood for informal conversation.
– Yes? – Lockhart looked at the Slytherin girl who raised her hand with a smile. – I’m listening to you carefully.
“Professor, tell me how you defeated the banshee.” The girl with the dark bob hair looked at him with interest. “I’ve read your book, of course, but I’d like to hear the story from you in person.”
“Say no more!” Gilderoy rose from his perch and squared his shoulders proudly, his ears filled with the admiring gasps of a couple of apprentices. “Banshees, also known as heralds of death, are very stealthy and quite cunning. Moreover, they are endowed with intelligence, so they pose a mortal danger even to an adult and experienced wizard. Moreover, these dark creatures can transform themselves. Unfortunately, my companions and I were unlucky, and instead of an ugly hag, a beautiful, fair-haired girl in a white shroud emerged from the abandoned church. My comrades hesitated and became her victims, but I managed to pull myself together and entered into mortal combat…”For the next half hour, the talented writer, holder of the Order of Merlin, Third Class, active fighter against dark forces, and simply a skilled wizard, told the students about his adventures. The children were intrigued by everything, from the places he’d visited to the people he’d met. They were also curious about how he regularly managed to get his brilliant mind into trouble. He himself didn’t know the answer to this question, as many years ago he’d simply decided to travel and see the world, which turned into a heroic adventure.
Of course, he tried to forget some things, and in others he exaggerated a little or even lied a little, but that’s what fiction is made for. Gilderoy saw a lot during his travels, especially in the forest near a certain German village, but he wouldn’t tell anyone what he experienced there for any amount of money. That incident nearly broke him and seriously shattered his psyche, or rather, it ruined all his efforts to fight a certain affliction.
“Professor, did you really defeat a higher vampire?” His attention was drawn to a beautiful girl who looked a couple of years older than her peers. “How did you do it?”
“I wasn’t acting alone, but in the company of experienced Russian hunters and trackers… Unfortunately, many of them died that night…” Gilderoy feigned sadness, but continued to glance at the girl, causing his loins to swell and threaten to rip his expensive trousers. “According to legend, somewhere on the border with China, in the endless steppes of Mongolia, lies the tomb of Genghis Khan. That’s what we were looking for, and what we found was a terrible monster…”
“How did you know it was a higher vampire?” Her friend, equally sweet and desirable, joined the informal conversation. “I’ve read about these night monsters, and if the books are to be believed, you didn’t stand a chance.”
“You’re absolutely right!” The talented writer swallowed imperceptibly, his excitement shifting to parallel thought, pushing some thoughts into the background. “Luckily for me, that creature hadn’t lived for several centuries, although vampires don’t age, so their true age is impossible to determine. But that monster was incredibly fast and bloodthirsty; before we could blink, Dmitry, one of our best hunters, was torn in half! Blood spurted from our comrade’s remains, a vicious roar echoed from the darkness, and we stood in a circle around the fire, clutching our wands until our knuckles turned white…”
The great writer began telling the quiet children a slightly edited version of those events, trying to portray himself as heroically as possible. But his thoughts kept drifting to the beautiful girls he’d seated at the front of the class for his own viewing pleasure. Gilderoy became so aroused that he tried his best not to let his students see it, a difficult feat even for him, an unrecognized master of mental magic. In recent months, his affliction had grown increasingly severe, and thoughts of these girls haunted him day and night, to the point where he’d forgotten what normal sleep was. This made it increasingly difficult for the young wizard to control himself and keep his affliction under control.
Yes, Gilderoy was ill; he realized it when his girlfriend, whom he’d started dating back at Hogwarts, stopped arousing him. She seemed old to the young wizard, but she was only twenty-three at the time, like him. And no, Lockhart wasn’t a pedophile. Little girls, much less boys, weren’t attractive to him, but teenage girls… Those small, nascent breasts, narrow hips, slender waist, and sweet face, just like… To hide his arousal, the young professor had to sit down at his desk and continue his fascinating tale of his adventures from there.
Gilderoy Lockhart was officially an apprentice in mental magic, but in reality, he had attained mastery, which allowed him to think in parallel. That is, with a little concentration, he could simultaneously think about two opposing things or talk to someone, but his mind would be elsewhere. So, to distract himself from these tempting ideas, he recalled his work in the Department of Mysteries. He had gone there immediately after Hogwarts, and there were several reasons for that. His family simply didn’t have the means to apprentice under a master, the Aurors and the Department of Mugwumps were dangerous, and the other departments were boring, so he chose the Oblivator unit. As a bonus, these specialists were given free training in mental magic, for which Gilderoy had a talent. Of course, he would have to recoup the effort and resources invested in him, but this prospect didn’t faze the young wizard.
Lockhart truly proved to be a very talented student, and by the age of twenty-five, he had achieved the rank of journeyman in mental magic and become the commander of a group of Oblivionists, one of the best in Wizarding Britain. It was then that he discovered a rather simple and effective way to combat his affliction. During his forays into Muggle towns or villages, he would pick up an attractive teenage girl and use Legilimency to find out her address. Later, at night, he would visit her, tranquilize her family, and, using Imperio, bring all his fantasies to life. And in the morning, having sated himself, Gilderoy would erase her memory with his “medicine” and effectively remove all traces of his presence. Unfortunately, he couldn’t restore the hymen, but he could easily remove blood and pain.
This continued for several years and even became a habit for the young and promising wizard. By then, the affliction had acquired another characteristic: Gilderoy absolutely had to be first, otherwise he couldn’t experience the pleasure he deserved. Unfortunately, Muggles are extremely immoral and depraved, something the young Oblivator encountered several times, and each time it enraged him. Without the feeling of that fragile and desirable barrier between his loins, he would lose his temper and turn into a true monster. Fortunately, he had experience concealing various crimes and carefully hid the bodies of the promiscuous women each time.Over time, Gilderoy became so confident of his impunity that he completely forgot all about caution. The young writer still cursed the day he encountered that deceptively beautiful flower, which turned out to be a filthy whore. During a trivial mission to London, where he needed to fix the memories of a couple of Muggles who had fallen victim to a thief from Knockturn Alley, he caught sight of a pretty, petite fifteen-year-old girl, not yet a full-fledged woman. Having quickly completed his task, he followed her, unable to stop himself.
This charming woman turned out to be a foreigner and was staying in an expensive hotel in central London, but the skilled wizard had no problem getting inside. Luckily, she was alone in the room, so within minutes the glassy-eyed girl was displaying her charms to him. After enjoying the beautiful view, Gilderoy decided to indulge his urges, but to his surprise, he encountered no obstacle, which sent him into a rage. At that moment, the master of mental magic lost control, and the wanton’s body shattered into a bloody mess across the room. Unfortunately, her father entered the room at that moment and, upon seeing what was happening, began screaming loudly, causing him to suffer the same fate as his daughter. Gilderoy was so distraught that he ran naked into the hallway and killed several more Muggles before Apparating away.
But the young Oblivator was let down by Muggle scientific and technological progress. The hotel was a prestigious one, and its corridors were equipped with the latest, most expensive video cameras, which captured the face of a brutal killer with a strange wooden pointer in his hands. While Gilderoy could be forgiven for killing a couple of Muggles, violating the Treaty and the Statute was a very serious crime. Only thanks to his past achievements and a little dirt on his superiors did the future writer manage to avoid Azkaban. But no one wanted to keep a psychopath and zoophiliac on their payroll, so he was quietly dismissed.
Some might say Gilderoy got off easy, but that’s not true! He was stripped of everything, permanently banned from working in any department of the Ministry of Magic, and ordered to pay for his tuition in mental magic and other fields, not to mention the other vows and oaths that weighed down every employee of the Department of Mysteries. Finding himself in debt and jobless, Lockhart didn’t break; on the contrary, he decided to change himself and his life.
His first priority was to address his illness, which was the cause of his dire situation. So, on the recommendation of friends, he began seeing a Squib psychotherapist, and in his spare time, he secretly and illegally taught Occlumency to the offspring of young pureblood families. He may have been an apprentice in mental magic, but he lacked a diploma! This important document was only awarded after twenty years of service at the Ministry or upon payment of severance pay. But the young wizard remained undaunted, and within five years, he had not only repaid most of his debt but also overcome his illness, and at the same time, acquired a sense of guilt for his actions.
Perhaps for this reason, or perhaps on his father’s recommendation, Gilderoy Lockhart decided to travel the world. Initially, the future writer simply wanted to see other countries and unwind; he had no idea he would soon become a hero and a fighter against the forces of darkness. But as the saying goes: wizard proposes, Mother Magic disposes. In France, he met a group of werewolf hunters, and since the future writer was short on funds, he happily accepted a small part-time job. The extermination of a werewolf pack in the Argonne Forest became the basis for his first book, which everyone loved! Gilderoy simply sent his drafts to his parents, who showed them to their friends, and then a publisher was found.
Buoyed by his success, Gilderoy began deliberately seeking adventure, and he always found it. Over the next ten years, the young wizard traveled across much of Europe and even visited the Soviet Union. During this time, he managed to write several successful novels and become very famous. He also improved his skills in combat and mental magic, thanks to the latter, Gilderoy practically forgot about his illness. Only occasionally did negative thoughts enter his mind, but he successfully banished them, as he could always find a young admirer if he so desired. But a couple of years ago, something terrible happened…
Rumors reached Gilderoy that a bloodthirsty, cannibalistic hag had taken up residence near a remote village in northern Germany. Naturally, the hero rushed to help, especially since he had experience fighting such creatures. Arriving in the village and speaking with the locals, he learned the approximate location of the evil spirit’s lair. Unfortunately, there were no competent wizards in the village, and the writer was rushing to another appointment, so he set out to accomplish his heroic deed alone.
After wandering through the forest for a bit, he encountered a couple of boys who had gotten lost while picking berries. The hero didn’t suspect anything, as he’d seen them in the village that morning. Gilderoy took the boys by the hand and was about to Apparate back to the village, but he felt a prick in his palm and lost consciousness. When he came to, the talented writer realized he was in deep trouble. Not only was he naked and tied to the bed, but the emergency Portkey wasn’t working, and then his captors appeared – two deformed and hideously terrifying hags. These dark creatures didn’t want human flesh; they wanted something completely different! They plied the handsome young man with a special potion and began to ravish him one by one. Their old, withered bodies, sagging, wrinkled breasts, wart-covered faces, and flabby, stinking skin often haunted him in nightmares.
But Gilderoy wasn’t so simple, and after several hours of torture, he managed to loosen the bonds and break free, after which he killed the old perverts. All would have been well, but the stress ruined all of Kneazle’s treatment, and the affliction returned with renewed vigor. The realization of this didn’t come immediately, but several days later, when the large breasts of a senior student disgusted him and made him gag.The talented writer was forced to resume therapy with a Squib friend, which meant he had to temporarily abandon travel and devote his free time to writing. When Lockhart felt better, he decided to seek adventure again, and his sights were set on Hogwarts. It may have been a foolish undertaking, but at the time, it seemed quite promising and promised considerable profit. Besides free publicity for his books, he would gain unlimited access to the Restricted Section, as well as the chance to become famous and dunk Dumbledore himself in dragon dung.
The first months at school went well. Yes, he was attracted to a certain second-year girl, but therapy and Occlumency helped keep the affliction in check. Besides, there was always something devilish going on at school, and the talented writer happily recorded it all. He’d already accumulated enough material for a couple of bestsellers, but after the Christmas holidays, everything changed; the affliction began to progress, and it was becoming increasingly difficult for him to control himself. Perhaps it was the constant exposure to teenage girls that had an effect, but Gilderoy considered her the main culprit…
She perfectly matched his idea of feminine beauty, and with each passing day, her allure grew stronger. Gilderoy was literally drawn to her unattainability, and besides, she was always in the company of her friend, just as… Desirable… The talented writer knew perfectly well that if he so much as touched this girl, his death would be long and painful, but he was willing to risk it! Moreover, he had thought everything through and even held a dozen rehearsals. None of the girls who stayed with him after school guessed or suspected anything. After all, he was simply looking and touching her; that didn’t violate his contract with Hogwarts! So there was no reason to kill him, and she wouldn’t remember a thing, just like her friend. He was a master of mental magic, and Obliviate and Imperio were his signature spells.
“…after which we burned the monster’s body in Hellfire.” The other half of Gilderoy’s mind finished telling the students the details of his heroic quest. “Children, I repeat, we were simply lucky that time. If, Merlin forbid, you encounter such a dark creature, activate the emergency Portkeys immediately, and if you don’t have them… Then hit it with area-effect spells and try to sell your life as dearly as possible.”
“Professor, that was really cool!” Potter shouted from his seat, and Lockhart winced at the Muggle word. “Tell me, how did you…”
The national hero was interrupted by the ringing of the school bell, signaling the end of class. The students immediately began packing, and Gilderoy, barely restraining himself, kept an eye on the two Gryffindors. Lunch was already over, and after school the children would rush to the common rooms to pack for the holidays or run off to their own errands. This meant the girls wouldn’t be missed, and their friends wouldn’t be waiting. Gilderoy estimated the time and made up his mind. He would have time, and no one would suspect him of anything.
“Miss Hellsing, Miss Granger, please stay.” The young professor smiled as the students left. “I’d like to entrust you with a special project for the Easter holidays…”
