Chapter 102
– Ugh… When the detentions are over, I’ll definitely burn it! – We returned from the cave under the castle, and my best friend looked at her work robe with disgust.
“Oh, come on,” I smiled at Hermione. “The house elves will clean it up.”
“I don’t understand,” the curly-haired girl began to pull off her clothes. “Why can’t I wear a tracksuit to detention?”
“Mia, do you need to remind me that some purebloods even sleep in their robes?” I looked at my friend skeptically. “Remember that horror we saw in Madame Malkin’s studio?”
“Don’t remind me,” the girl waved her hand and continued undressing. “Is it just me, or am I completely saturated with that stench?”
“Don’t you think so?” I sniffed my hands and grimaced. “But I have an excellent product, proven. It kills any odor and makes my skin smooth and silky, like a baby’s.”
“What kind of remedy is that?” Lavender jumped up from her bed, interested. “Will you share it? You know very well how my delicate hands react to the damp Scottish spring.”
“No problem, I don’t mind.” I grinned and pulled a brown bar out of the nightstand. “Soviet laundry soap – it kills all known germs and bacteria, and at the same time it washes away things that even house elves can’t.”
– Ugh! – Brown recoiled. – It stinks worse than your robe… It stinks like a half-decomposed infernal!
“That’s just at first.” I looked at the blonde with a knowing look. “But it lathers beautifully and that’s the only thing that covers the smell of the cesspool. Trust me, I’m talking from experience.”
“Girls, could you speed up?” Parvati’s pained voice rang out. “It’s impossible to breathe here! Either open a window or throw your things in the basket.”
I glanced sideways at the small window, which, thanks to the “magic” foam, hadn’t opened since autumn, and nodded silently. A well-aimed throw sent my outerwear flying into a special laundry bin, enchanted to keep out unpleasant odors. Hermione followed my example, only she added an air-purifying charm. Taking a deep breath, I waved to the girls and, throwing a towel over my shoulder, quickly headed for the shower.
Having tidied myself up and made sure I smelled like a young lady and not like a sewage worker doused in sewage, I left the girls’ dormitory. Descending into the noisy room, I immediately headed toward my friends gathered near the tower’s exit, led by Percy himself. Our brave prefect strictly observed the dean’s orders; no group of students left the tower without an accompanying senior.
“Hellsing, finally, how much longer can you splash around?!” The elder Weasley looked at me reproachfully. “We’ve been waiting just for you!”
– Percy, you only came down three minutes ago. – Ron decided to stand up for me. – Besides, we waited for you for half an hour yesterday!
“I was busy,” the village headman retorted. “I have enough responsibilities besides you.”
– What?! – The youngest of the red-haired brothers put his hands on his hips. – Wood is in charge of Quidditch, you dumped the paperwork and clubs on me, and Robins keeps track of the class schedule.
“And I oversee the general order of the faculty,” the elder Weasley proudly squared his shoulders. “As a competent leader and manager, I delegate responsibilities correctly and strictly monitor their implementation. By the way, did you give Ginny the thread and needle inventory forms for the sewing club?”
– Just yesterday, – the younger one muttered.
– Where is the completed and signed form for submitting the forms? – The headman looked questioningly at his brother.
– I forgot… – Ron lowered his head guiltily.
“How many times do I have to repeat this…” The elder Weasley sighed heavily. “In our business…”
“The more paperwork, the cleaner the ass.” I interrupted the red-haired brothers’ conversation. “Percy, can we stop by the twins’ on the way?”
– Why? – The headman immediately became serious. – Did something happen?
“I don’t know.” I shrugged. “Goldstein wanted to talk about something urgently.”
“Just quickly,” Percy nodded. “And then straight to the library, I need to finish my numerology essay myself.”
Having decided on our route, we left the common room and, led by the prefect, headed to the sixth floor. Soon, our group stopped in front of an ordinary-looking wooden door, of which the school had a great many. However, I, like the others, froze in indecision; only God knows what else these identical-looking doors could have twisted to protect their domain. Last time, Justin had gripped the doorknob incorrectly, and his knees began to bend the wrong way. It didn’t last long, of course, but it was still unpleasant.
“Ron, come on,” Percy pushed his brother forward. “Open up.”
– Why me again?! – Ryzhik was naturally indignant.
“I don’t feel sorry for you.” The headman chuckled nervously. “Or do you want the girls…”
– Got it, got it… – grumbled the youngest of the Weasley brothers. – You don’t have to continue.
With a heavy sigh, Ron approached the wooden barrier and began diligently picking his nose. He then pulled out the “treasure” and wiped it on one of the bronze hinges. As soon as the booger touched the metal, something clicked in the door, causing it to open silently.
“Thank you, Ron,” I patted the red-haired guy on the shoulder, “you’re our hero!”
“Snot-nosed hero!” Justin added cheerfully and was the first to enter.
“Next time you’ll be going through this, what do you call it, idiotification!” Ron shouted at his friend, offended. “I’m trying here, and he…”
“Identification, Ron.” Hermione corrected the red-haired boy and chuckled. “Although, your version is more suitable.”
“Can we hurry up?” Percy grumbled. “We need to be back in the common room half an hour before lights out.”
“We’ll make it.” I smiled at the headman and stepped into the laboratory of some rather unintelligent inventors.
The workshop hadn’t changed much since my last visit, except for the increased number of workbenches and the increased staff. The boys are growing; they’ve even hired assistants! Lee Jordan sat next to the twins, painstakingly carving something on a wooden board, his movements seemingly confident. Next to the production shop, a paint shop had appeared, with Izya, Romulus, and Ginny sitting at a separate table. The first-years were busily coating future artifacts with a thick coat of special paint. The elder Goldstein perched nearby on the floor, meticulously placing the finished creations into bright cardboard boxes. I knew that the events of the Slytherin Horror had increased the demand for protective artifacts at school, and I had no doubt that the enterprising Goldstein would be ready for such a flow of profit—but not to this extent! Now I understand why the twins have hardly appeared in the common room lately. I wonder when they have time to study?- Romulus! How many times do you have to repeat that? – Anthony was distracted from his work and shouted at the Slytherin. – We paint the double Protego blue, and the single one purple!
“Sorry,” Malfoy apologized. “They’re just very similar.”
“Only one costs 19 Galleons, and the other 10! Be careful!” The Jewish boy looked sternly at the blond first-year. “Next time, I’ll deduct the cost of the paint from your pay!”
“Okay.” The Slytherin nodded and returned to work.
– Hello everyone! – I greeted loudly, which attracted everyone’s attention. – How are you?
“And to you too, Hellsing, our greetings through the window.” The elder Goldstein closed another box and, adjusting his skullcap, turned to his comrades. “Pereriv!”
– Finally! – Fred exclaimed and began to dramatically stretch his back.
– Hey, guys! – George walked quickly towards the recreation area. – Would you like some tea?
“I wouldn’t refuse,” Justin nodded and caught up with his hospitable twin.
“Come on!” Anthony shouted loudly, before our group had scattered across the production floor. “I’m warning you, don’t touch anything with your hands and watch your step! This especially applies to that red-haired lout!” And he glared at Ron.
– What kind of day is this today? – The sixth Weasley looked at the ceiling in pain. – Why me again?
“And who knocked over that can of paint two days ago?!” The Jewish boy shook his head. “By the way, it cost 12 galleons.”
– Hey! I apologized! – Ron looked at Goldstein in bewilderment. – And I gave you the money right away!
“That can was dear to my heart…” The Jewish boy shook his head sadly. “I got it from Uncle Yossi at a big discount, and you…”
– Anthony, did you want to talk about something? – I decided to interrupt the beginning squabble.
“Yes, right now.” The second-year nodded and turned to a couple of chatty girlfriends. “Girls, I’m incredibly happy to see you, but could you please keep your mouth shut and proceed to the relaxation area? There they’ll give you some tea and explain a few things.”
“I’ll keep an eye on them.” Izya took the silent and thoughtful girls by the hands and led them to the table. “Don’t get distracted.”
I watched with a smile as Goldstein Jr. dragged Brown and Patil, who were looking around, along with him. It was understandable—the girls were here for the first time! I don’t know what they expected to see here, but the production facility of budding artificers clearly made an impression on them. And judging by their curious glances and heavy breathing, they were barely holding back from bombarding everyone with questions. No matter, they’d step away over a cup of tea and the twins would have to give them a short tour, otherwise Lavender and Parvati would be after them. I wasn’t worried about the “secrecy” of this place, as I’d already learned that when necessary, our gossips know how to keep their mouths shut.
“Hellsing, should we step aside?” Anthony looked me seriously in the eyes and pointed toward the far window. “There’s a great view of the Black Lake from there.”
– Show me. – Nodding, I followed the enterprising boy and soon leaned on the wide windowsill. – Beautiful.
“You’re welcome.” Goldstein smiled thinly and also looked out the window. “Rigel, sell me the weapon.”
– What? – I almost choked on air from surprise.
“When that Asian slut and her lackeys attacked us, I was really upset about my shotgun.” The second-year sighed and continued admiring the castle’s surroundings. “If it weren’t for the competent upperclassmen and your help, we wouldn’t have fought them off. Only the Creator knows what those purebred Nazis would do to us.”
“Anthony, I’m not an arms dealer and I have no right to trade in government property.” I looked at the guy thoughtfully. “We need to consult and…”
“Rigel, you understand, right, that these shelmazles won’t stop and will try again?!” Goldstein interrupted me and clenched his fists angrily. “I need a tool to protect my little brother. I think a machine gun and a couple hundred armor-piercing rounds will be enough, and I’ll take a couple of grenades as a gift, okay?”
– Why don’t you ask your parents? – Something in my head wasn’t adding up. – I know your family has the right connections.
“Too long.” Anthony slumped. “There’s still more than a month until the holidays, and I have to watch Chang, and I don’t like her behavior. She and her gang are up to something nasty again.”
– Why wait? – I looked at Goldstein as if he were an idiot. – Let them send it by owl and that’s it.
– What do you mean? – And now he looks at me like I’m an idiot. – All incoming mail is carefully checked! In September, Grandma Fima sent Iza a silver dagger, and it was confiscated! Then the dean came to us and said he would give us the dagger only before boarding the train! And you about the machine gun and the bullets… – The guy fell silent. – Wait… You mean to say that… Oh, that’s right!
– Anthony, what are you talking about? – I still didn’t understand Goldstein.
“The royal seal!” The Jewish boy slapped his forehead. “You’re a member of the upper class, and yet you have no idea about the problems of unfortunate mere mortals!”
I stared at Anthony in bewilderment for a few seconds, and then, like a duck, it hit me. All parcels from home are always sealed with the magical Hellsing seal, and Woland wears a chain with our family crest around his neck. That’s why they could send me anything from home, even a hydrogen bomb, and wizards wouldn’t be able to stop it! After all, according to the Treaty, all mail from the royal family and those close to them is inviolable, and Dumbledore is a stickler for rules. Now it makes sense why the Jewish businessman approached me with such a strange request.
“Anthony, I’m sorry, I can’t sell you a gun.” The guy looked down, but then noticed my predatory grin. “But I can lend you a couple of guns until the holidays.”
“I’m not asking for more!” Goldstein said, his smile widening with satisfaction. “How much?”
“One Galleon, but you promise to keep an eye on Patil and Weasley.” I gave the guy a stern look and dug into my bag for the magical contract. “And you will only use it for self-defense. And don’t even think about losing it or reselling it. You’ll return it all at the London station and account for every bullet. Understood?””It couldn’t be clearer…” Goldstein nodded and pulled a bloody quill from his pocket. “And what do you have to offer me under such draconian conditions? Hellsing, keep in mind, I won’t take consumer goods!”
And so the bargaining began. Anthony was practically demanding a tank with a mortar, but I wanted to limit myself to one MP-5 and a hundred regular enchanted rounds; Dagworth rounds were out of the question! In the end, we agreed that before the Easter holidays, I would give him two Kalashnikov assault rifles and a zinc casing of armor-piercing incendiary rounds for them, as well as two Glock 26s with a hundred rounds, and a dozen defensive grenades. And as a bonus, for a modest 100 Galleons, I gave him two bulletproof vests. No sooner had we signed the agreement than Israel approached us.
“Tony, my sensitive ears heard the word ‘galleon.'” The first-year sniffled. “And that’s why I’ve decided to have a serious and very important conversation with you!”
“Izya, do you see that we’re talking to an important girl about important topics?” The elder Goldstein looked at the younger one reproachfully. “Let’s talk later, okay?”
“No, you look awfully pleased right now, which means I have a better chance of making this event a success.” Izya faked an innocent smile. “We, the junior research fellows, demand a pay raise or at least a bonus! Otherwise, we’ll go on strike!”
“Okay,” Anthony waved his hand. “You’ll get a bonus.”
– If you ignore the demands of our trade union… – The first-year student stopped short. – So you agree?
– Why not? We worked like blacks on a cotton plantation for two weeks and during this time we sold a bunch of artifacts. – Goldstein Sr. smiled tiredly. – Just give me a week, I’ll balance the debit with the credit and pay everyone off. I promise I won’t offend anyone.
“It’s a pleasure doing business with you!” Izya sniffled again. “But, as Grandpa Monya says, it’s boring.”
“Get out of here already, you idiot.” Anthony waved to his younger brother and turned to me. “When?”
“Before lights out today, there’s an inconspicuous alcove near our living room.” I nodded toward the lounge area, where the merriment was in full swing. “The twins know about it.”
– Agreed. – The guy clapped his hands. – These guys will show me the way.
I was about to call my friends and head to the library, but my eye caught a bright picture on one of the boxes containing the finished products. Looking closer, I noticed that all the artifacts were packaged in colorful, rather pretty boxes. I read the title and almost burst out laughing.
“The Indestructible Heavenly Shield Pro Max?” I looked at the entrepreneur skeptically. “How’s it different from the regular one? And what’s this?” I pulled out a gold-colored box. “The Indestructible Heavenly Shield Pro Max Plus Limited Edition, Deluxe Series?” What’s that?
“You just don’t understand marketing!” Anthony snatched the box from me. “This is Protego Tria, and Pro Max is Protego Duo. I think the regular version is clear. By the way, nobles only buy the Deluxe version, even though it turns to dust after the first activation. Derevo, you know…”
– Protego Tria? – Percy approached us from behind, interested. – The brothers told me, but at first I didn’t believe it, can I see?
“For you, as a relative, with a family discount, only 40 Galleons, but you can look at it for 2.” Goldstein waved the box under our headman’s nose. “This is a high-tech protective artifact, created in the Goldstein Incorporated laboratory. Quality certificate included!”
– Where from? – Weasley tilted his head to the side. – You slap them together from the cheapest materials.
“I’ll tell you, as trusted people, a secret,” Anthony smiled slyly. “One of our relatives from Odessa organized his own artifact makers’ guild in South Africa, and since he’s the only educated wizard there, he had to lead it and come up with his own quality standards. That’s why our products fully meet the highest Swaziland standards; purebreds don’t know where it is anyway.”
– Okay, the main thing is that they work. – Percy shook his head and turned to me. – Hellsing, are you ready?
– Yes. – I nodded in response.
– Excellent. – The headman smiled. – I’ll go gather the others.
“By the way,” I said, looking at the bright picture on the box while I waited for my friends. “Who painted it? It’s very beautiful and unusual…”
“Hellsing, don’t add salt to sugar.” Goldstein smiled sadly and also began to admire the box in his hands. “This is little Luna, she has real talent…” And then Anthony looked me in the eyes. “Rigel, if you catch whoever hurt her, beat him, kill him and spit in his mouth!”
“I promise,” I waved my hand and headed for the exit. “See you later!”
“Of course.” Goldstein waved back and turned to his colleagues at the factory. “What are you all sitting around for? Get to work!”
On that note, I left the twins’ workshop and headed to the library with my friends, where we spent the rest of the evening productively. Upon returning to the living room, I plundered the arsenal in my suitcase, aka the indestructible pink bunker, and, like a seasoned huckster, arranged a secret weapons transfer to a Jewish resistance fighter. I was particularly amused by how meticulously and efficiently Anthony inspected the machine guns and pistols, even though they were new, oiled, as they say, and he still knew nothing about them. After saying goodbye to the satisfied partisan, I returned to the bedroom and immediately called my mother.
The woman was sympathetic to the idea of donating weapons to those in need, and she also praised me for not revealing Hellsing’s possession of special ammunition. The Goldsteins are certainly allies, but Dagworth rounds are still considered a state secret, kept as secret as the locations of nuclear missile silos. Yes, sooner or later these Über-rounds will no longer be a closely guarded secret, but for now… If there’s a conflict, the wizards are in for a big surprise. After discussing a few more things, we said our goodbyes, and I went to bed. Finally, this long and unpleasant day was over, and how many more await me ahead…- Gooooool!!! And the beautiful Angelina scores again into the unattended baskets!!! – Lee Jordan’s loud voice rang out over the jubilant stands. – That means Gryffindor leads 380-30!!! Take that, nerds!
“Mr. Jordan!” McGonagall’s displeased voice sounded.
“Sorry, Professor,” our commentator replied without a shred of remorse. “Look at Potter! Our Seeker is in no hurry to catch the Snitch, because the Lions want to win by a landslide! Forward, brave Lions! Pluck those ravens!”
I stood in the stands and, succumbing to the general mood, happily cheered for our team. In this match, Gryffindor took the initiative right away and smashed the Ravenclaw team, brutally and to the point of foul play. Usually, games with the Ravenclaws were fairly polite, with each team trying to pull off clever tactics, but not today. The reason for such a brutal game was the punitive expedition of our house and the month of detentions that followed. The boys hadn’t forgotten who they were digging in their heaps of dirt for every day and decided to take revenge.
The twins eliminated the Ravens’ catcher, Zhou Chang, early in the match. The Chinese girl dodged two Bludgers and caught a third with the back of her head. The girl, who had fallen from a height, was carried to the hospital wing, while our athletes continued to crush their radical opponents! About an hour later, the Ravens resembled a team of disabled people, as the Lions focused primarily on inflicting as many injuries as possible on their opponents, and scored goals as an afterthought. Meanwhile, Potter was ostentatiously circling the Snitch, making it clear he could stop the game at any moment. By the second hour of the match, the Ravenclaw players were slowly hovering near the ground, watching in impotent rage as the Lions scored goal after goal.
– The score is now 500 – 40 in favor of Gryffindor and Wood gives Potter the signal! – The slightly hoarse voice of the commentator was heard over the stands again. – Our wise captain is right, that’s enough already, lunch is almost here! Aa …
– Ahem… Actually, no. – And it was McGonagall who started shouting over the stands. – In 1782, the match between Slytherin and Hufflepuff lasted almost twenty-eight hours and ended with a score of 1870 – 1540.
“Thank you, Professor,” Lee Jordan exclaimed. “I’ll be sure to remember this in Hogsmeade when we celebrate our victory!”
The students roared again and began to leave the stands, as quietly as possible in our house. My friends and I decided not to push and wait a bit, watching from above as the angry Madam Pomfrey rushed between the Ravenclaw players, unable to decide who to treat first. Yeah, everyone there had at least a couple of broken bones and concussions; our Beaters were really going strong today.
“But Ron warned us they were planning something like this.” Justin leaned on the edge of the stands and looked at the clear blue sky. “And we’re lucky with the weather today.”
“You’re right about that.” Mia smiled at the sun as well. “I don’t even want to go back to the castle.”
“How about we go for a walk?” Elvira beamed blissfully. “In honor of Quidditch, the Teacher canceled classes, and I’m free all day.”
“And the dean’s orders?” The young aristocrat looked at us sullenly. “Which of the seniors will accompany us?”
– Guys, I think I have an idea. – I saw a massive figure below and waved my arms. – Hagrid, hi!
Despite the noise around me, the gamekeeper heard me and, turning around, began waving back. We hurried downstairs and were soon hugging the bearded, kind-hearted giant. Hagrid was happy to see us and even smiled, but with empathy, I sensed he was very upset. Could anyone really have dared to offend this good-natured and slightly naive man?
“Kids, why aren’t you coming in?” The forester looked around at our group with a smile. “So, you’ve completely forgotten about old Hagrid, then?”
“Are you the old man?” Mia looked at the half-giant with a smile. “Or do you think that just because you grew a beard like Dumbledore’s you’re an old man?”
– Yes, I am, that’s it. – The guy blushed slightly and combed his face with his hand. – And Dumbledore, he is that, he is a great man, yeah, I can’t compare to him.
“Hagrid, we’re not going in because there’s a psychopath attacking students at school,” Justin said, quickly comforting the giant. “We’re not even allowed to walk around the school without an escort from older students right now.”
“I’ve heard of that bastard, yeah.” The forester looked thoughtfully at Hogwarts. “But I still can’t understand why everyone’s so afraid of him?”
“Actually, he attacks pureblood students and gets them drunk on some kind of crap.” Elvira tried to explain the simple truths to the forester. “That’s why everyone’s afraid.”
– What’s there to be afraid of? – Hagrid looked at the girl in confusion. – So, everyone’s alive and well, yeah. Nobody even died. And lying around in a soft bed until the end of May, well, that’s, like, what nonsense. I, you know, have been to Madam Pomfrey’s more than once myself, so she really knows her stuff, yeah. Once she even sewed my fingers back on, can you believe it? Even she, there were no scars left, yeah.
– Fingers? – Justin stared in shock at our bearded friend’s huge paw. – Where did you manage to lose them?
– Oh, I just did it by accident, yeah. – The forester waved his hand. – We were playing with the manticore, you see, and I, you know, stepped on its paw and there, you know, something crunched, yeah. She, you know, got angry, the little thing, and she bit me, yeah. But she didn’t mean to be mean, for sure, otherwise she wouldn’t have spat my fingers out later, yeah. I, you know, collected them, you know, and immediately ran to Madam Pomfrey, yeah. Oh, and she cursed me then, yeah, but she still did the deed and she, you know, even poured me some alcohol, yeah. Anastasia, you know, yeah. She’s a good woman… – The big guy blushed again and added in a whisper. – If I, you know, were smaller, I would definitely have asked for my hand in marriage…”Hagrid, what are your plans for today?” I asked the forester with a sweet smile. “We’ve really missed you, and the weather is nice today.”
– I, uh, got it, I’m not stupid, yeah. – Hagrid straightened up. – I, uh, need helpers to feed those Thestrals! Kids, you, uh, will help me, right?
“Of course!” I answered loudly for everyone. “We just need to warn the dean and wait for Ron.”
– It’s possible. – The gamekeeper broke into a satisfied smile and, turning around, roared at the top of his lungs, so much so that my ears even started ringing. – Professor McGonagall, Professor McGonagall!!! I want you, this one! I’m that very thing, just the way you like it, fast!
– Hagrid, what happened? – A minute later the dean stood in front of our group and smiled cheerfully. – What happened?
“Professor McGonagall, I’m, as you’ve said many times before, quick and to the point, yeah.” The half-giant stood at attention. “I want to take these kids on as my assistants today, I need to feed these Thestrals, and there are a lot of them, actually. I promise I’ll feed them all later, yeah, and take them to the castle, yeah. And I’ll protect them from your bullying, yeah.”
“Okay, Rubeus, on your responsibility.” McGonagall smiled sparingly and looked around at our group. “And where are Miss Brown and Patil?”
“They went to the common room with everyone else, Professor.” I took a step forward. “Ron Weasley will be with us, so don’t lose him.”
“I had no doubt about it.” The woman nodded contentedly and looked me up and down. “Miss Hellsing, you are in charge, but you obey Mr. Hagrid as the headmaster.”
“Okay, professor.” I nodded in response.
“Thank you for the warning,” the woman smiled contentedly. “Have a nice day, the weather really is wonderful today.”
After seeing the professor off, we headed off to the locker rooms, where we encountered a happy Ron, grinning so brightly his cheeks were cracking. Afterward, we leisurely strolled to the hut of our great friend—yes, I consider Hagrid a friend. He may be a bit silly and naive, and while he’s loyal to Dumbledore, he’s sincere, and that’s a rare quality.
– Hagrid, did you like the game? – As we walked, Ron turned to the forester with a satisfied smile. – How did we do them!
– Of course, I really respect and love Quidditch, yeah. I even tried out for the team when I was studying, yeah, only that one, not a single broom could lift me. Back then, the guys used to joke a lot that I needed a special broom, a heavy one, yeah. – The half-giant chuckled. – But where can I get one, huh? That’s what I mean, yeah. I go to all the games of those, what are they called, juniors, yeah! They don’t let me go to the big competitions, yeah. Eh… If only I could see those strongest players play at least once, and what’s that… – The big man waved his hand. – I saw in the papers, so many people gather there, you can’t even count them, yeah. And then there are those markets, all kinds of artists and even all kinds of delicious food, yeah. I even saved up some money once, yeah, five years ago, that was right! I wanted to see it with my own eyes, as Filch used to say, to make my dream come true, yeah. I went to the cash register and put a bag of money down, I wanted it all to be fair, but they told me I was a loser! Can you imagine, they said, this is a competition, not for people like me!
“Hagrid, screw them!” Ron began to defend his friend, as usual. “We’ll show you a game here that even the major leagues couldn’t even dream of! Just wait until I become captain, and after we win the championship, I’ll demand that you be the one presenting the cup!”
– You’re good friends, yeah. – Tears of happiness appeared on the giant’s face. – I love you so much! It’s not for nothing that Dumbledore, a great man he is, said that friendship and love, they will conquer any evil! You, just say it, I’m for you… – And our huge defender burst into tears.
The boys immediately began to calm the gamekeeper down, and I looked at him, a cunning plan forming in my head: “Bitch, I’ll do it on principle!” In the movies, before my fourth year, the Quidditch World Cup took place in Britain, and if that’s how it goes in this reality, Hagrid will be my escort in the Ministry box! And if any of the high-ranking bastards starts making a face, they’ll be sent packing for offending a friend of the Hellsing family! I hadn’t forgotten that Hagrid is the only one who still regularly visits the graves of Lily and Rigel Evans, which means I simply have to make this good man’s dream come true.
Having calmed down, the forester led us not to his cozy hut, but to a small shed behind it. This small wooden structure, in addition to gardening tools and various rare ingredients, contained many interesting items, including a couple of large sacks of fresh meat.
– Kids, that’s it, just don’t be scared, yeah. – The half-giant playfully hoisted the sacks onto his back. – I’ve been feeding this herd, you know, for a long time now, they’re practically tame.
A short walk along the edge of the forbidden forest followed, and we found ourselves in a clearing hidden by a hill. There grazed about fifty skeletal, winged horses of the apocalypse, as if straight out of the pages of Holy Scripture. I’d seen these horses many times before and was accustomed to their eerie appearance, but before, they were harnessed to carriages and didn’t spread their leathery wings.
– Amazing… – I looked at these creatures in admiration. – They are beautiful…
“I agree,” Mia, standing next to her, chimed in. “Very beautiful.”
“And they’re also very smart…” Elvira came up to us. “The teacher has a couple of these beauties, we even flew on them.”
– What are you talking about? – Ron looked at the snow-covered clearing with displeasure. – I don’t see anyone!
“Thank the Creator or Merlin for that,” Justin said, hugging his friend. “Only those who have seen death can see these creatures.”
– Oh… – Weasley was embarrassed. – Girls, I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry.
– Ron, it’s okay. – I smiled at my friend. – It’s not your fault.
Unable to resist, I walked ahead, and naturally my friends followed. We spent the next few hours petting the warm and affectionate horses, feeding them fresh, fresh meat. All the while, Hagrid told us about their habits and various curious incidents involving the herd. It turns out he’d given each Thestral a name, and they responded to them. Naturally, the nicknames were Hagrid-style. The leader, a huge winged horse with tusks like Victoria’s, was named Baby, and his mate, an equally bloodthirsty-looking mare, was named Feather, because as a foal she’d devoured a post owl and left her entire face covered in feathers.But that’s all nonsense. It was already sunset, when the meat was gone and the horses were full, and Hagrid took us for a ride. This big guy, without asking, picked me up and placed me on Baby’s back, then simply slapped the stallion on the backside, and off he went. With me! At first, I squealed like Vereshchagin, but then, as we gained altitude, I calmed down and started enjoying the process. The flight wasn’t long, at least it didn’t seem that way to me, but we managed to circle Hogwarts and part of the Forbidden Forest, and it was amazing. I even wanted to do it again, just like my friends. Even Elvira, who is terrified of heights, was thrilled with the Thestral ride. Maybe it was because the beast was warm and its whole appearance inspired confidence and calm? I don’t know, but when I grow up, I’ll definitely get a couple of them.
– Guys, what about you? – Finding myself on the ground, I looked at the boys. – This is really great!
“Thanks, but I prefer to see what I’m getting into the air on.” Justin took a step back. “So I’ll hold off.”
– I second that! – Ron joined his friend. – Besides, I’ve had enough flying this month, that’s enough.
– Kids, that’s right, it’s getting dark already, yeah. – Hagrid came up to us. – Let’s go to my place, okay? I’ll feed you, and then, you know, I’ll take you to the castle.
– I’m all for it! – Weasley was the first to run up to the forester. – What’s for lunch today?
– Those same ones, yeah, just like you like them, babacu wings, yeah. – Hagrid stroked his beard contentedly. – Smoked them myself, yeah.
Outdoor walks, and especially flying, work up an appetite, so I didn’t object to the offer and followed him with a satisfied smile, as did my friends. Before finding myself in the cozy hut and sitting down at the table, I managed to admire a magnificent sunset. Why is it always so overcast in the British Isles? I’d love to see sunsets and sunrises every day, but I almost always see gray, leaden clouds and rain. Although… Maybe that’s why I appreciate the sun so much? But more on that later, and at that moment I was preoccupied with two things: the recipe for smoked wings and why our forester was sad, so I decided to start with the latter.
– Hagrid, – I took a sip of herbal tea, while our big friend sipped his first course. – What happened to you?
“Rigel, that one, where did you get that idea from?” The brute’s eyes darted around, and he emptied his bucket-sized mug in one gulp. “I’m fine, you know, yeah. You better try some fresh bread, yeah, I bake it myself. Kuzmich himself told me this recipe, that’s it.”
“Hagrid,” I looked reproachfully at the forester. “We’re friends.”
– What the hell… – The big guy waved his hand and took a swig from the bottle. – It’s all because of Lockhart, damn him, yeah.
– He hurt you? – Ron looked up from the huge smoked ham. – How?
– If only… – The tipsy forester stared into the flames in the fireplace. – On St. Manatee’s Day, he killed so many innocents… I hope he dies too, yeah.
– What do you mean? – Elvira looked up from chopping vegetables. – No one died that day, did they?
– Yeah, that’s what you think… – Hagrid stood up and shuffled his feet, bringing another bottle from the next room. – Those poor souls, tavo, died the day before this terrible holiday, that’s it.
– Could you give me more details? – I looked at my big friend in confusion. – Who died?
“Garden gnomes, that’s who!” the forester barked, taking another swig from his bottle and sitting down. “Rigel, I’m sorry, I just buried them in greenhouse number eight this morning, yeah. It’s just, it hurts me to look at it, I’m sorry.”
“I don’t understand anything.” I shook my head. “Hagrid, can you explain everything clearly?”
“I’ll be right here.” The big guy downed half a bottle and looked at Weasley. “Ron, you, tavo, what can you tell me about garden gnomes?”
“They’re funny and useful at the same time,” Ginger smiled. “They look like little people and they keep our garden free of pests. They also eat radishes, but Mum plants them especially for them. Fred and George said they were intelligent and even taught them to swear.” Weasley chuckled. “And when there are too many of them, we throw them out onto the neighbors’ plots. Wait…”
“Yeah…” Hagrid began filling his glass, which was more like a bucket. “Your professor enlarged them with magic, yeah, and then, yeah, brainwashed them so much that they turned into, like, porridge, yeah. Madam Sprout was so angry, yeah, and it was all my fault…”
– What does this have to do with you? – I was sitting closest to him and took the giant’s hand.
– So, I gathered them! – The forester started crying again. – But I, I, didn’t know! He said… And I, I, am a fool, believed it! And those poor souls, I, I trusted me! So it turns out that I, I, I, let them down! They all died because of me! – The half-giant couldn’t bear it and burst into tears. – Why am I, I, so gullible?! Maybe it’s easier for me, I, to perish?! Black was right when he, I, said that I was stupid…
This time, it was difficult to calm Hagrid down; he was genuinely worried about the innocent sentient beings Lockhart had destroyed. Only after two bottles did the gamekeeper regain his composure and, after washing himself in a tub, made the determined decision to accompany us to the common room—he had promised, after all. We were only too glad that our great friend had recovered and hurried off to Hogwarts in a friendly crowd, especially since the sun had long since disappeared below the horizon.
However, halfway to the castle, a group of ten wizards caught up with us, they quietly and almost imperceptibly surrounded us, and then a woman who looked like Dana Scully from The X-Files silently approached us.
– Amelia, hi! – Hagrid almost jumped on the spot at the sight of the woman in the blue robe. – You, what is it?
“Rubeus, as the head of the DMP, I’d like to ask you a couple of questions,” the woman answered seriously and looked at me. “And also, your companions…”
