Chapter 101
The descent into the secret room delighted and pleasantly surprised me, though not immediately. As soon as we stepped over the threshold of the secret entrance, the massive door slammed shut. For a moment, I felt like Ivan the Terrible, trapped in the elevator of a Moscow high-rise. The magical lights on the walls and the view of a perfectly ordinary, if slightly gloomy, school corridor prevented me from reaching for the Life-Giving Cross and screaming about demons. After confirming that my friend and I were safe and that no one was planning any violent acts against us, we calmed down and began to analyze the situation. First, I pushed the front door, but it wouldn’t budge. Then Mia decided to try to escape with a plastic explosive charge, but I beat her to it and hissed, “Open,” in Parseltongue. Then something clicked in the massive gate, and it swung silently open, only to slam shut again a couple of minutes later. Oh my! Automatic, indeed, and voice-activated to boot! And considering the mechanism is almost a thousand years old, it’s at least worthy of respect.Realizing we could exit at any time, we began our descent. I expected dust on the steps and cobwebs on the walls, but everything was spotless, as if a thorough cleaning had just been done yesterday. The wall lamps provided a decent amount of light, and along the way, I even managed to catch a glimpse of several medieval frescoes. I didn’t particularly examine the medieval paintings, as I was more focused on my surroundings, but even so, I noticed they were strikingly different from the obscenity covering the front door. Most likely, that ugly painting was hung later, by one of the founders’ grandchildren or great-grandchildren, although I could be mistaken.The descent itself didn’t take long; I felt like we’d descended about five floors, but then Salazar (or one of his friends) must have been playing with spatial magic. When we found ourselves in a wide, arched passageway with high ceilings, Mia (I’m amazed at her resourcefulness) pulled an altimeter from her bag and confirmed my suspicions. The mechanical device showed we were a hundred meters below sea level. Holy shit! This wasn’t a secret room, it was a veritable underground bunker! Once again admiring the work of the ancient magicians, we moved on and found ourselves before massive metal gates adorned with silver snakes. This barrier also posed no problem, and after the command ” Open, ” the doors slowly began to slide apart.As the vault doors opened, I managed to examine the countless runes covering them. I’m certainly no master of runic magic or ritualist, but I understood the basic meaning of the symbols, and a chill ran down my spine. The primary purpose of these iron gates wasn’t to keep out outsiders, but, on the contrary, to keep something or someone out of this room. And judging by the thickness of the doors and some of the runes on them, they were practically designed to protect against an archdemon! What kind of monster lives there?! Or is it not? Okay, we’ll check now, but first, I need to disengage the RPG safety.“Miya, I’m going forward, you cover!” I quietly addressed my friend and inserted the earpiece into my ear. “Communication.”“Yes, mon général,” the nervous girl whispered. “If shit happens, activate the portkey right away, don’t worry about me. Got it?”“Don’t play the hero-martyr.” I glared at Hermione. “If we’re going to leave, we’re going to leave together! Understand?!”“Yes…” Her friend answered reluctantly. “If anything happens, I’ll fire a couple of shots and then come after you.”“Agreed.” I slung the grenade launcher over my shoulder and checked the portkey before stepping forward.Stepping over the threshold of the Chamber of Secrets and looking around, I barely held back a gasp of admiration. Let’s start with the fact that the Slytherin bunker was enormous—it could literally fit a couple of football fields inside. Magical lanterns, floating in huge numbers from the ceiling, allowed me to appreciate all this splendor. It was this that brought me a surge of awe and aesthetic pleasure. A real starry sky shimmered above my head! And not some lousy illusion, like in the Great Hall, but genuine handiwork. Hundreds, if not thousands, of differently colored glowing crystals were embedded in the stone arched ceilings! Everything was done with such precision that the resulting pattern perfectly replicated the star chart. Even I, a seasoned astronomer, easily found the Big and Little Dippers, and then spent a few moments admiring its namesake. The star Rigel shone as brightly here as in the real night sky.After that, the walls and columns, decorated with stucco moldings of snakes and other medieval nonsense, looked dull and uninteresting. But the statue of Lenin—pardon me, the great wizard—standing tall in the center of the hall piqued my interest, and I headed toward it. About halfway there, I heard a strange, steady hum, like a tractor working in the distance, and I also noticed the floor—perfectly flat and smooth. Indeed, it was as if a huge, single, polished marble slab had been laid beneath my feet, in which I couldn’t detect a single joint. However, I did find a dozen ritual circles, both standard ones and ones whose purpose I had no idea. These carvings in the floor could cure a runny nose or summon some kind of gibberish into our world. I immediately made a note in my sclerosis notebook that next time I’d need to bring a camera and take pictures of it all, and then send them to the right place. Just in case.Nodding to myself, I carefully and as quietly as possible continued toward the Lenin statue. Damn, nerves are making me think of all sorts of things. Although the majestic pose of the granite wizard was somewhat reminiscent of the revolutionary leader, the only thing missing was the armored car, more than made up for by the massive sword at his belt and the enormous staff in his hands. But I couldn’t really make out his face—all because of the style. The artist of this masterpiece had deliberately gone for a rough and tumble approach, resulting in a statue that was as brutal and pompous as possible. I knew Slytherin was a scholar and a great potion maker, but the figure on the monument was an unwavering and invincible warrior, one who had crushed Titans and Atlanteans over his knees. I wondered if it was Salazar’s ego or the artist’s hand? The thought briefly crossed my mind as I examined what lay at the foot of the monumental sculpture…A huge, no, GIANT serpent coiled around the monument. From this angle, it was hard to tell how long this monster was, but its thickness was! Seriously, if this beast had opened its mouth, I would have walked in without bending over and calmly reached the middle of its body. In some places, the diameter of its carcass reached a couple of meters, and I hadn’t even seen its head yet, since that end was hidden behind the statue. The only thing that saved me from a shameful escape and the discovery of the brick factory was the fact that the monster was sleeping. A deep sleep, I would even say. Only as I got closer did I realize that the steady hum in the room, reminiscent of a caterpillar tractor, was snoring!Pulling myself together, I took a closer look at Hogwarts’ immortal guardian, and I truly felt sorry for him. Looking at his pale, dull scales, barely hinting of green or yellow, I realized I wasn’t looking at a menacing monster, but a tired old man. He’d served Hogwarts for nearly a thousand years, and the poor thing still hadn’t been allowed to retire. And what had he seen in his long life? It was a stupid question, of course, but this snake was intelligent! Fear gave way to pity, and I decided to wake the tired guardian. I hoped he wouldn’t eat me in my sleep.Dear sir , – I carefully addressed the basilisk. – Wake up!Hr-trtr-hrt. – Was my answer.Mistress, can’t you see? The old man’s been sleeping for many moons already, why the f*ck wake him up? – Vasya’s fawning face appeared from under the robe. – Let’s go back, okay?Are you afraid that he will eat you? – With my free hand I stroked the cowardly snake.I’m afraid he’ll wake up. ” The familiar shuddered and looked at me strangely. ” Fuck it, wake him up. You’ll understand later.”“Okay then. ” I shrugged and looked at the gigantic bulk again. ” Dear Guardian of Hogwarts, wake up!”However, the respected one had no intention of waking up, and so I did something that I would regret for all the following years…The kick was a glorious one, even my big toe hurt, and, most importantly, the huge snake stopped making the sound of a running diesel engine and began to stir. Having woken the monster, I took a step back and, kneeling, slung the RPG over my shoulder. How could I have known what mood he’d wake up in?” Oh, dark gods! Whose mind knows no virtue? Whose conscience was cast into a cesspool at birth? Who has ravaged my priceless peace, who, disregarding the Guardian’s service, dared to so rudely snatch me from a beautiful dream? Whose feeblemindedness deprives me of my final joy, oh, Master?” A quiet, senile grumble, even a grumble, came from behind the statue. ” Oh, my Master, beautiful and mighty, answer me, since the gods remain silent… How long will your Servant know no peace? Or have I not earned the bliss of silence and beautiful dreams, which bestow blessings upon a weary soul?”Soon, a basilisk’s enormous muzzle appeared from around the corner. It would have been the size of a compact car if someone had attached enormous fangs to it. I tensed up, while the scaly little snake, still grumbling, twirled its enormous snout from side to side, sniffed, and only then turned in my direction. I studied the ancient guardian for a few moments, then lowered the grenade launcher and stood up. The basilisk stared at me with milky-white, completely blind eyes! And upon closer inspection, I noticed that at least half of its fangs were missing. But what did I expect? This veteran soldier is a thousand years old. Hello, Grand Guardian of Hogwarts. – I even bowed out of respect. – Sorry for waking you, but I wanted to talk to you.“Talking… ” The enormous muzzle approached me and sniffed me thoroughly. ” A careless little rascal, young in years, saddened by upbringing… But I sense strength in the flame that makes your heart beat, well… So be it! I will allow your lips to open. Please answer me, with what nirnroot have you disturbed my peace, child? Perhaps an invincible enemy has encamped before the nest gates? Do alien banners flutter in the wind over the fallen defenders of the castle?”No. – I shook my head. – Everything is calm .“That is good news. ” The basilisk nodded and loomed over me. ” Then perhaps learned men, filled with mighty powers and hoary with knowledge, have decided to gather you within this stronghold to share a modicum of their sacred wisdom with the little ones, combating human negligence and the eternal feeblemindedness of your kind?”No. – I shook my head again. – I wanted… Then why, why, WHY, child, did you disturb my peace so brazenly?” The enormous serpent interrupted me, then began to growl. ” Fear not, careless young one, there is no malice or cruelty toward the mazhats in my soul, but I have spent too many winters without seeing a single face, without hearing human voices, and thus I have become rude in speech and harsh in thoughts. Although… ” the basilisk chuckled. ” I remember, as if only last winter, how rude, and brazen, and incredibly strong the Father’s friend was. These great men turned every meeting into a bloody arena, amusing themselves with daring and singing the hosannas of magic. And afterward they awaited maidens, beautiful in countenance, strong in spirit, and burning so brightly with thirst!” And rites for the continuation of the family line were held where the blood of honorable combat was laid upon the bed. Ah, my Master, great, mighty, and stately, was so tireless! His descendants… Answer me, young woman: what misfortune now prevents the wisest of men and the feeblest of wits from visiting this stronghold as of old?“I don’t know, Great Guardian. ” I shrugged. ” This room is considered a secret, and someone hid the entrance. We miraculously managed to find it.”“Well, it’s clear to me now, there’s a reason this stronghold is deserted. That’s why I lived so many winters in peace and bliss. ” Basilisk nodded. ” And before, barely a hundred winters ago, the foolish little mazhons often appeared before my eyes, bearing news of the outer world, telling of how life passes for the two-legged beyond the Great Forest, and sharing fresh game… And my heart loved to listen to them, to watch them, until the exemplary youths left this stronghold. And remaining in silence, I embraced the memory of my beloved Master and set off to the fields of the Eternal Hunt, to dream…”“Excuse me, oh great guardian. ” I was starting to get annoyed by his wordiness. ” I would like to ask…”Of course! I am the lord of snakes, the master of other reptiles, always ready to share a grain of wisdom with a young, foolish rascal. – The monster proudly raised his head. – But first, open your mouth and answer: for what purpose did you enter here alone? That young woman hiding behind the column at the entrance, who is she to you? A page? A servant? Or is she of unworthy blood? Those speakers who previously stepped under these vaults often spoke of unworthy blood; I listened to their speeches, but I could not comprehend the wisdom… What is the difference? Only the blood of two-legged creatures is red, only iron mixed with fire and salt is in them. Or perhaps she is not a servant, but an offering to me? But that is an evil deed, the seal of the nest on her!“This is my friend, and she’s coming now! ” I spoke loudly to the snake, then lowered my voice to a whisper. “Mia, come here, don’t be afraid he’s blind. This beast won’t harm us, but I beg you—be quiet!”“Got it, I’ll be there soon,” her friend replied. “Just a moment, I’ll just deactivate Fatty.”While we waited for Hermione, the basilisk sniffed the air again, and its face appeared before me again. I couldn’t resist stroking the old serpent. The scales on its face were large and cold, but very smooth, and the basilisk itself closed its eyes contentedly in response to my actions.“My dear young one, open your mouth again… Does that careless youth who has clung to your heart not yearn to show me respect? ” The enormous serpent allowed himself to be stroked, growling softly. ” Between you lies a bond, one that, through mutual goodwill, has bound two destinies together. A true bond, the same bonds that once bound me to the Master. But is the youth foolish? Or is he saddened by his daring? Or has he become unfit for true speech, having accepted the genital organ into his lips and been overshadowed by heaven’s grace?”“Greetings, King of Snakes! ” Vasya immediately popped out from under his robe. ” I just didn’t want to distract you. There’s no fucking way someone as great as you would pay attention to someone like me. You’re just talking business here, why bother…”“Be quiet, you wretched one! And don’t you dare defile the sacred tongue with vile profanity! ” the Basilisk addressed my familiar sternly. ” I see you’ve chosen the true path, your heart has chosen a Master who is young and strong, but it seems the Great First Serpent hasn’t given you enough wisdom. With your ignorance, you dishonor our great line, you dishonor the Eternal Mother! It’s not fitting for us to upset our ancestors, for with their grief, they will reduce our world to stardust. I’m old, and I know the order of life is as fickle as a river’s current, but I will not resign myself, I will not tolerate such filth within the walls of this nest! Appreciate it, wretched one, I am magnanimous, and therefore I am ready to share, and I will reward you with the full measure of wisdom.”Maybe we shouldn’t? – Vasya looked pitifully at the monster. – I’m already doing just fine.Don’t you dare, don’t insult me with a refusal! ” The basilisk loomed over us. ” Or is it my wrath you seek? Do you wish to drink the cup of my mighty fury?!”I understand everything, forgive me, you idiot… you stupid idiot. – My familiar began to lament hastily. – When should I come, oh great one?Exactly . – The Hogwarts Guardian nodded contentedly. – I will wait for you as soon as the full moon rises and turns silver in the sky. You come, and you will listen until dawn, absorbing the wisdom of the ancients, and if the need arises, then in daylight. I remember, many winters ago, men whose heads were silvered by life gathered foolish little ones in a clearing under the canopy of the Great Forest, and generously shared their wisdom, not stinting on knowledge, the strength of their hands, and the flexibility of their slender rods. In those days, I was happy, heeding their efforts, alas… The passage of time is furious, merciless, my greatness did not save me from withering – my eyes lost the joy of contemplation, but even hundreds of winters later, I remember! I remember how beautiful the sky is, how bright the stars… This is incredibly cool! This is a huge ritual hall! Did you see those rune circles? – Hermione came up to me, amazed. – Is this the Hogwarts Keeper? Holy shit, he’s so big! What’s his name? Have you found out what Tom’s vessel looks like yet? – Only now did the inquisitive girl think to look at the basilisk’s face. – Oh, right… Good afternoon, sir… Rhea, what’s his name?“Speaking heifer, your friend’s lips, curved by Apollo’s bow, so swiftly hurl arrows of words—about what? ” The enormous serpent tilted its head to the side. ” I am the guardian, I am a mighty serpent, but the only speech accessible to me is that sacred one, bestowed upon me and his descendants by the Master’s lips.”Um… She asked what your name is. – I raised my head, which was already starting to ache. – My name is Rigel, my companion is Hermione, and my protector is Vasily.“Thank you, I will remember your names. And mine… My Master was wise and powerful, great and glorious! And he chose a friend to match himself, and named me with a beautiful, harmonious name! ” The basilisk lifted its head proudly. ” It was a long time ago, I was barely born, and could fit within the warmth of the Master’s care alone, strong, firm. In those days, he often carried me with him, and as soon as the luminary passed beyond the edge of the world, my noble Father sent me to the beds of mighty maidens who shared with him the rites of procreation, but did not dare comprehend his wisdom. Their lips opened wide with cries, and my Master was right there, bringing them affection and consolation. And the naming ritual seemed to have happened yesterday… And my Master’s palm laid me there. ” The enormous serpent pointed the tip of its tail at one of the circles. My father, mighty, great, and beautiful! He brought gifts and poured strength around me, as if streams of water were descending from the heavens. He was preparing to speak, to inscribe my fate into the worldview, when his friend, mighty and great, appeared from the shadows and gave me a name! I, a mere worm, barely had time to remember it, but mighty men once again turned the meeting into a bloody arena, as so many times before and since. And countless were the destructions this stronghold suffered at their hands and daring, but two maidens, beautiful in body and blessed with the sacred grace of mind, came with a keg of red drink, inviting both friends to the rite of procreation. And I received a name, most beautiful, worthy of the majesty of kings, I became armor, guarding the foremost treasure of the great ones: I am Codpiece! Only my Master, wise and great, could have given me such a name—beautiful, harmonious!“Ria, is his name that long?” Hermione blinked, listening attentively to the old snake’s hissing, and then asked for a translation. “Or did he tell you something else?”“His name is Codpiece.” I glanced sideways at my friend. “He also told me a story that I’ll tell you later.”Codpiece? – The friend barely held back a giggle and bowed to the basilisk. – Nice to meet you.“Oh, the manners of these young maidens, I am glad and proud! And it’s immediately obvious that the wisest men have been in charge of your upbringing… ” The enormous serpent sniffed. “Rigel, my daughter, why hasn’t your servant undergone the ritual of procreation? I sense she’s ready to bear and bring forth a child. I remember, many winters ago…”And the basilisk began to indulge in nostalgia, or, in Russian, simply to babble incessantly. I couldn’t even get a word in, as another story from the ancient serpent’s past began. It also included glimpses of Salazar’s life with the other founders; it turned out he and Godric were friends and often drank together, and then inevitably fought. And after the fight, Helga and Rowena almost always showed up, and the four of them would have a friendly orgy. Codpiece explained that in the past, wise men and maidens, as well as maidens, often descended into this stronghold, as he called the Chamber of Secrets, and not just for the ritual of procreation. As far as I understood, ritual magic was once taught and practiced in this hall, as well as summoning magic, since the serpent mentioned something about demonic maidens, with whom the ritual of procreation was also performed. Was it really that boring in the Middle Ages, or is the basilisk’s memory that selective?” …and a creature appeared, so powerful, so filled with darkness and so ravenous with malice, that I immediately understood it had no place in this world. I hastened to save the Master’s heir and the mighty men who stood shoulder to shoulder with him, but he commanded me to leave this stronghold and stand in defense of the young mazhonki. I could not contradict him… ” The basilisk lowered its head sadly. ” As soon as I slipped from beneath these vaults, the gates closed. I heard the cries of those passing beyond the brink of life and the greedy roar of the stranger, and then – only the roar… And for many moons that creature tried to break free, but the gates held, and the ancient evil did not break through into our world. Thus, the heir, the strongest and wisest of all the seedlings of the Master, set out for the lands of the eternal hunt… After that battle, the gates of the stronghold were not opened for many winters, and I slumbered in the Great Forest. It was beautiful there, with plenty of fresh game… And soon, barely a hundred winters had passed, a new heir appeared, weak and frail, and commanded me to return to the vaults of the stronghold and carry out the Master’s command. Oh, my great, my most beautiful Master, how I miss your wise words…“Excuse me, Codpiece, ” I managed to interrupt his monologue. ” And how long ago did the Master’s heir come to see you?”“The true heir appeared before me many winters ago… ” The basilisk paused, scratching his crown with the tip of his tail. ” But only recently, when the earth’s surface had not yet been covered by the white blanket of the season of cold death, I was awakened by one who carried within him only a shadow of my master’s scent, a weak and rotten shadow, and so I disobeyed his commands. But I also did not dare drive him away, for the seal of the nest shone brightly upon him. The word of the Master commands me to guard and protect the little ones within the shadow of these walls. He, with the shadow of scent, was drawn to the ancient wisdom of learned men and studied the writings left for you here. All night, while the moon reigned in the sky, he wandered here. ” The codpiece nodded toward the ritual circles on the floor. “ He knew the same ancient speech, and he listened to my words.– What did he look like? – I loudly interrupted the old asshole. – Do you remember him well?“Of course! I am the Great Guardian and the King of Snakes! ” The basilisk raised its head proudly and turned to Hermione. ” That female was young, like your servant, yet untouched by the ritual of procreation. She wore those rags that bipeds twist their bodies lengthwise, wrapping themselves in them like a mouse in straw. And… That’s all. Oh, yes! She was meek, submissive, and well-mannered; the influence of the wisest of men was immediately apparent.”“I understand, thank you very much. ” I looked into the blind, milky-white eyes and bowed. ” You’ve been a great help to us, and your wisdom knows no bounds.”“Come beneath these vaults more often, Rigel the Speaker, and bring your servants and friends. ” The ancient serpent bowed his head as well. ” I am happy to share both my wisdom and my memory, for this is my Master’s will. I remember once, he and a mighty other drank a keg of the red drink and…”For about another hour, Hermione and I listened to the old snake’s reminiscences out of politeness. Or rather, I listened, while my friend simply stood by and endured. Codpiece grumbled nonstop, so I couldn’t even act as translator, as interrupting elders is considered improper behavior. So I had to feign interest and silently stare at the ancient chthonic monster, who was starved for human interaction.“…and with this deed, a high hill appeared on the edge of the Great Forest. ” Basilisk finished another story. ” And now, with the arrival of the season of living greenery, I leave the shadow of these vaults and bask there in the rays of the sun.”“Gulfik, I’m sorry, but we have to go. ” I screamed loudly when the snake fell silent for a few moments. ” We have to go, otherwise the wise men will scold us.”“I understand, ” the Hogwarts Keeper nodded. ” And therefore I let you go in peace, Rigel the Speaker and Hermione the Servant.”By the way, one last question. – An idea popped into my head. – And that strange heir, the female, did he introduce himself at all? Did she say her name?Of course, the maiden was well-trained. ” The head of the enormous serpent lowered itself toward me. ” She said her name was Tom. That name is strange and unworthy, and she doesn’t carry the blood of noble ancestors, that’s true. After all, noblemen would never have named their child by such a vile name. I remember…”– Sorry, but we really have to go. – I almost screamed. – Can we hear this wisdom next time?“Of course, I’ll be waiting for you with impatience, ” the basilisk replied enthusiastically, then continued seriously. ” Flawed one, don’t forget that I’ll be sharing my wisdom with you! Don’t bring me grief…”“He’ll come, I’ll make sure. ” I bowed to Codpiece again. ” Goodbye.”“Until we meet again, young ladies, I’ll be glad to once again be imbued with your upbringing, ” the old monster replied and fell asleep almost immediately.As soon as we said goodbye, I practically ran for the exit. Mia kept up, even overtaking me at the gate. Only in the hallway did I allow myself to squat down and clutch my head. Hours of old manly grumbling had left my poor head aching, and my legs and neck were numb from standing with my head up the entire time.“Riya,” her friend sat down next to her, not squatting, but on her butt. “Was it worth it? What did Codpiece say?”“The diary of a girl who never learned the ritual of procreation.” I turned to the curious girl. “And her name is Tom, a nasty name, right?”And that’s it? – Hermione practically jumped up from her seat. – And everything else?! He hissed non-stop for hours!“What did you want to hear from a blind old man?” I looked wearily at my friend. “He sat alone for centuries, and then free ears appeared.”“What did he even tell you?” Hermione’s eyes widened with interest. “He’s almost a thousand years old, so he’s seen things…”Like the founders’ orgy? – I interrupted my friend. – Or should I tell you how, after a barrel of wine, Godric and Salazar had a friendly fight?“But there’s something more…” The curly-haired girl bit her lip thoughtfully. “More interesting, from a historical point of view.”Let me think…” My head was starting to feel better, but just to be sure, I poured a couple of potions into myself. “I think there was something interesting…”Mistress, I don’t want to go down to Grandpa! – Vasya decided to remind everyone about himself. – He’ll just talk all sorts of bullshit! What the f*ck do I need that for?! And who’s going to protect you? You’ll be sleeping! No, no, I’m not coming back here anymore!You’ll go, like a good boy! – I looked sternly at my familiar. – We must, Vasya, we must .Fuck… – The snake snorted with displeasure and hid under his cloak. What happened? – Mia saw my disgruntled familiar off with a smile.He doesn’t want to learn wisdom.” I jerked to my feet and smiled. “So, where was I? Oh, right. Anyway, Codpiece told me…”Hermione and I held hands, and I began retelling the senile grumblings of Hogwarts’ immortal keeper. On the way to Gryffindor Tower, I managed to tell my best friend a couple of stories, but when we met our friends in the common room, there was no time for more. Lavender and Parvati began vying with each other to tell each other how many Valentine’s cards they’d received, and even vividly described some of the fights between the postmen. Listening to these chatterboxes, I thought of the basilisk and realized that I would be returning to the Chamber of Secrets voluntarily for a very, very long time; I didn’t want to listen to these endless stories anymore! We’d wasted several hours of our lives, even missed dinner, and what had we learned?Nothing, except that the founders liked to get drunk and have orgies. Oh yeah, Scum had captured a girl, she’s a virgin, but that description fits half the Hogwarts students, so a trip to the Slytherin bunker was pointless. Almost. Now I knew the school had an excellent and well-protected ritual chamber, but I had no one to teach me ritual magic from yet. And I didn’t feel like experimenting on my own; enough was enough, I’d already attracted the attention of a higher being once. With these thoughts in mind, I listened to Parvati’s poignant tale of how Burke had torn up a Valentine from Selwyn, who had cast a Dark Curse on him, and now the heartless brute was recovering in the hospital wing.“It’s all interesting, of course.” Mia waited until Brown fell silent. “But homework still has to be done.”“Did they give us any homework today?” Ron looked at my friend in bewilderment. “Those cupids ruined everything.”“They did, and more than usual,” Elvira smiled wryly. “You shouldn’t have been staring at those ugly dwarfs fighting, but at the board. The teacher just assigned an essay on three large scrolls about the properties and uses of the Beautiful Eyes Potion, and there are also assignments from McGonagall and Flitwick.”“May he drown himself in his cauldron…” Weasley grumbled, reaching into his bag for books and parchment. “I suggest we finish this quickly and head to our rooms. I’m feeling a bit tired today, and we have training again tomorrow. Wood’s really gone berserk with the season approaching.”I agree. – I also reached into my bag for my textbooks. – Today was a very long and crazy day.We spent a couple of hours scratching our quills on parchment, and then, tired and exhausted, we crawled into our rooms. Lying in bed with the canopy pulled up, I called my mother and told her about my visit to the Secret Chamber. She listened attentively and demanded I take a detailed photo report of the ritual circles I’d seen. I had no choice but to agree. Ah, as much as I didn’t want to, I’ll have to visit Gulfika again. As the saying goes: I have to go to Rigel, I have to. And with that, our conversation ended, just like that crazy day.On Valentine’s Day, few thought about the victims Lovegood and Crystal, as one professor turned the holiday into a complete farce. Most of the students had a blast, pitting Cupids against each other or sending each other joke cards. But fun always comes to an end, and the dreary routine always takes its place. And what do Hogwarts students do when they’re bored? That’s right. They’re wasting their time! Otherwise, how can one describe not just a wave, but a tsunami of rumors about the Slytherin Horror that engulfed the school over the next two weeks?The pureblood assholes became so afraid of the curse of one of the founders that they stopped walking alone and gathered in small groups. But they found walking alone boring, so at the slightest opportunity, these degenerates took out their anger on any Muggle-borns they encountered. It got to the point that McGonagall held a faculty meeting and officially forbade us from walking alone. The dean also ordered the creation of escort groups of sixth- and seventh-year students. McCat selected the strongest boys and girls and ordered them to escort the lion cubs from first to fourth years to classes, the library, and meals. The dean also asked us not to give in to provocations or start mass brawls.A similar situation prevailed in the other houses, all because of idiotic rumors. Students, without realizing it, had spread fear and panic throughout the school with their delusions and tall tales. A week after the attack on Luna and Penelope, it was impossible to find a single student walking alone in the castle. Even the ravens, always renowned for their individualism, moved exclusively in groups of three to five. While the other houses tried to appear united and friendly, at least during meals and classes, a real schism had broken out in Ravenclaw.As far as I understood, Crystal was responsible for maintaining order among the ravens, and she also kept the more zealous individuals in check, but she was gone. Davis, her partner, didn’t care about anything as long as he wasn’t touched, so, with the support of her gang, Chang became the unofficial leader of the House of Smarties. The slant-eyed one immediately began imposing her own rules and even proposed expelling the mudbloods from Ravenclaw Tower. Most of the students (purebloods, of course) happily supported this initiative.But the pureblood radicals hadn’t taken into account the fact that their faculty included a pair of Mudbloods of Jewish descent, and they actually had connections. And what’s more, they were armed! Sensing a threat, Anthony pulled an enchanted shotgun from his bag, and his younger brother pulled out a revolver given to him by Grandpa Monya. These two good Jewish boys and several other students, including Ginny, repelled the initial attack and barricaded themselves in the second-year boys’ dormitory. While the boys were firing back and holding their ground, one redhead called her older brother and me for company.It was evening, so the rescue team quickly formed. Almost all the upperclassmen joined it; we love a fight in our house, and beating up the arrogant smartasses is a sacred duty! Hermione and I also decided to join the punitive raid on the insolent purebloods, so ten minutes later, along with the other lions, we stormed the Ravenclaw tower. The operation was a success, culminating in the total rout of the radical ravens’ coalition. The arrival of the headmaster and the deans saved the Ravenclaw common room from further destruction and looting. With that, the proud lions’ raid ended, as did the crystals in our watches.Since then, the crows have been casting sidelong glances at our house, while also eating in two separate groups. Those cretins couldn’t evict the Mudbloods from the tower, but at least this way they managed to demonstrate how disgusted they were by their company. Ginny told me that some of those idiots now even sleep in the common room, so as not to breathe the same air as the filthy creatures. And this whole messstarted with the suggestion of one slant-eyed wretch.Maybe she should be sent after all? – During breakfast, I glanced sideways at Chang and ran my finger across my throat. – That bastard sent six people to the hospital wing in a week.“I second that,” Mia, sitting to the right, smiled predatorily. “I even know where to put the body, no one will find it there for sure.”“Hey, girls! I’m fine with that, but at least wait until the day after tomorrow.” Ron speared a piece of bacon on his fork and waved it in the air. “We have a game with the Ravens tomorrow, and Chang is their only catcher. If she doesn’t play, the game will be postponed! Didn’t we practice for nothing?!”“Okay, let’s wait.” I continued to look at the table of smart guys, and my gaze fell on Anthony, to whom I waved.“Eat faster,” Elvira grumbled from the side. “We still have to go to practice.”“You don’t have to remind me,” Finch-Fletchley, sitting opposite him, winced. “I’m a proud aristocrat, and they’re forcing me…”“Jas, we actually helped my sister and saved our friends,” Weasley turned to his friend. “And anyway, almost the entire faculty is involved in this, so don’t complain.”“Boys, maybe we shouldn’t talk about this at the table?” Mia wrinkled her nose dramatically. “Actually, I’m eating, you might ruin my appetite!”Our friendly discussion ended there, and we continued eating in silence, each with something to think about. After breakfast, on this sunny Saturday morning, almost the entire Gryffindor family headed to the enormous cave beneath the castle, where a spectacular cesspool, complete with leaky buckets, awaited us. As the saying goes, no good deed should go unpunished.
